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“Her parents. What are you expecting here? That Ava will finally introduce you to her parents as her fiancé? Or husband?” He laughs. “Even you can see that’s crazy.”
“Yeah, well, my life is one big crazy these days, isn’t it?” Fuck it all. Why’d it take John to make me realize my plan is, actually, really fucking crazy. “They live in Cornwall, John.” I frown. “And Ava doesn’t seem to be in a rush to make a meet happen.” The last time she spoke to her mother, she’d told her I was, in a nutshell, not important enough to mention.Just seeing him.“They know about me.” I have Ava’s ex to thank for that. I’m frowning again. “And think I’m an alcoholic monster who battered her ex.” Jesus. They don’t even know about myhotel. My age. I have red flags all over me for any parent. “God, I hate you,” I mutter, rubbing at my forehead.
I need a drink.
Can’t have one.
“I have shit to do.” John gets up and leaves me alone, and I sink deeper into my chair, running it all over in my head again. Do it right. What the hell is right, anyway? If I ask for Ava’s hand, I can’t imagine I’ll get an excited blessing. Because they don’t fucking know me.
And neither does Ava.
“Fuck off, Jake.”
“We need help,” Sarah says, bursting in. “Guests will be arriving soon, and I have to get all these batteries in the cock rings.”
“Right,” I sigh, pushing my heavy body out of my chair and following her into the summer room, immediately overwhelmed by a room that I admired when I walked through it minutes ago. Endless tables, a dozen chairs around each, a giftbag at every setting. “Pass me some batteries, then.” I hold my hand out and accept the multipack.
“You okay?” Sarah asks, making a start on the next table, Niles going the other way, starting at the opposite end of the room.
“What do you care, Sarah?” I ask tiredly, looking toward the entrance to the bar. I said I wouldn’t be long. Not likely.
“You know I care.”
Yeah, I know. She just has a really fucked-up way of showing it. I work my way around the table, my big hands struggling with the fiddly task. The tension between us is thick, and it’s really fucking weird. “I’m going to marry her,” I say, looking up at Sarah, seeing her moves falter. No one will stop me. Not the Sarahs of this world, the Corals, the Frejas, the Mikaels, or the Matts. No one. The only person who can stop me marrying Ava is Ava. Okay, John’s stalled me. But only stalled. I’ll be pushing to meet the parents tomorrow. Can’t say I’m relishing the thought now I’ll have to explain myself, because Matt’s made that fucking essential.Dickhead.
“She can’t give you want you need,” Sarah says quietly, reluctantly. Reluctant, because she’s unsure what I need anymore. I can assure her, it isn’t this. “She will never accept you like I can.” Her statement is so quiet. Almost unheard. But I hear it.
I toss the empty pack of batteries on the table. “Accept me?” I laugh. “Accept me for being a letdown, Sarah? A total fuck-up? I don’t want her to accept me for the piece of shit who lost everything. Who ruined his life. I want her to accept me for being an amazing husband. A wonderful father.” I feel my jaw tense, my words becoming hissed, and Sarah steps back, wary. “The man she needs me to be and who Iwantto be.” I jab a finger toward the bar. “ForAva. For Rosie. For Jake.”
“You’re delusional.”
“You know what, fuck this shit.” I flick a hand out and knock over a wineglass. “I don’t know why I’m standing here talking about the most pointless fucking thing in the world when I could be out therewithmy world.” I stalk off, glaring at John when I find him behind me, warning him not to bother. “Do the fucking batteries yourself.”
I stop in the hallway before the bar entrance, taking a moment to calm myself down. Then I slap on a smile and enter, standing tall, confident, when I feel anything but, Sarah’s poison making me doubt myself even more. Sarah might think that my relationship with Ava is toxic, but it’s got nothing on the one between us, because Sarah knows of all my sins. And she manipulates that knowledge any chance she can get.Yet I have no idea how to stop her.
I see Ava at the bar and relax a little when I note Sam, Drew, and Kate are with her. I also spot Natasha getting up from a nearby table and moving in. “Jesse,” she purrs, and I quickly step to the left before she gets too close, making sure I set the tone for the evening.
I smile. “Evening, Natasha.”
“Did I see you have company?” she asks over the rim of her glass, looking in Ava’s direction.
“No, Natasha, you didn’t see I have company, and I’ll tell you why.”
“Please do,” she says, smiling, sultry, as she sips her fizz.
“Well, firstly, this is the first time you’ve set eyes on me since you arrived.”
“But not the first timeever, right?”
Unfortunately, yes. In fact, it feels like every other female who has ever laid a hand or eye on me, with the exception of my daughter, of course, has ruined a small piece of me each time. “Right,” I say slowly, observing the wolves circling, ready to chase off their competitor. Fucking hell. I take a quick peek at Ava to make sure she’s not watching. She’s feeling quite possessive today. It’s most pleasing, but I don’t need a bloodbath in the bar. “Second,” I go on, returning my attention to the brazen female who fits in around here perfectly. “I don’t have company, Natasha.”
Her eyes light up. “No?”
“No.” I shake my head, pulling in my suit jacket, backing away. “I have my girlfriend.” I flash her a smile that would always usually floor a woman. “Have a good evening.”
She grins through a scowl, and that look alone tells me my message hasn’t sunken in. I’ve never truly realized the thickness of the skin around here. It’s unreal. I feel like I’ve just made the challenge more interesting.
I get my arse to the bar before I’m intercepted again, seeing Ava with a full glass in her hand. I look at Mario over her head. He holds up three fingers. I shake my head. “No more,” I mouth, and he nods, going on to serve at the other end. My itching palms slide onto the lace at her hips, my chin on her shoulder. “I’ve neglected you,” I say quietly, while also noting that I have very much neglected myself too. No more neglecting. Not tonight. It’ll keep the vultures away.
