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She’s vehemently fighting her natural reactions to me. “Tomorrow, I’m going back to Kate’s.”
“You know that’s never going to happen, Ava.” And not because I’ll stop her. She doesn’t want to leave. She just wants to lash out. Hurt me. “But just you saying it makes me really fucking mad.”
“I am.”
I get closer. “Crazy mad, Ava,” I whisper, wondering if she wants this from me. Unbridled rage. “Look at me.”
“No.”
“I said,lookat me.” My chest is buzzing against her front, her hands twitching beneath mine.
“Three,” I say calmly, and she looks at me. “Kiss me.”
She shakes her head.
So I start again. “Three.” And move in, my mouth close to hers, breathing hard. She inhales sharply when our mouths touch. I can feel her restraint is about to snap. “Two.” She swallows, her eyes falling to my lips. “One.” I brush our mouths, and she exhales shakily, turning away.
“No,” she snaps, not giving in to the passion that’s becoming suffocating. “You’re not distracting me, Jesse.”
Distracting? No, I’m not. I’m trying to prove that everything in the fucking world is inconsequential.For fuck’s sake.What does she want from me? I release her hands, and the moment I do, she’s shoving me away. I take her wrists, holding her. Her strength surprises me, and I find my hold tightening as she fights to free herself, yelling, lashing out, her hair flying everywhere.
Whoa.
She’s losing the plot.
“Ava,” I shout, not in fury but so she can hear me over her own screams.What the fuck?She’s deranged, flinging her body everywhere, yelling. I’m forced to turn her away from me and pin her arms down before she slips free and smacks me or, worse, I inadvertently hurt her. But she doesn’t relent, bucking and screaming, while I hold her, shocked. “Fucking stop it, you crazy woman.” I’ve made her crazy. I curse, resorting to getting her on the carpet where there’s less risk of injuring herself. On her back beneath me, I hold her arms down by her wrists, straddling her. “Pack it in,” I hiss, wincing when her knee catches me in my lower back. “Ava!”
She stills, heaving, her hair in her face, her eyes wild.
And I did that.
I’vecaused this.I’vemade her unhinged.
I stare at the mess I’ve made of her. This is fucked up, but more fucked up is my urge to kiss her. Show her I’m worth the heartache and pain. Show her our love will fix it all.
What she knows.
And what she doesn’t know.
And as she looks into my eyes, I see the red mist clear from hers. And there’s the woman I love. The stable, levelheaded, strong, fierce young woman who’s capable of handling me and my love.
I lower my mouth, but not quickly enough. She lifts her head, smashing her lips to mine, and the fire inside rages as hot as her temper. I let go of her hands and feel them immediately hit my back, pulling at my suit jacket, and I clench my fists in her hair, our tongues fighting, our bodies squirming, my dick swelling.
It's mad, chaotic, angry, and just what’s needed right now. Ownership. From both of us.
I roll to my back, taking Ava with me, and feel her hands on my trousers, fighting with the zipper. She has me freed in a heartbeat, her small hand wrapped around me, squeezing, as she scrambles down my body and takes me in her mouth.
I buck. “Fuck.” I let my head drop to the carpet for a moment as she thrusts a few, merciless times. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Mustering the strength, I look down my body, seeing her sprawled, holding me, her head bobbing up and down fast, her mouth frantic on my cock, sucking, biting, licking, kissing. Then she grabs my balls with force. Too much force. Pain shoots through to my stomach, and I gag. “Jesus,” I bark, tensing, feeling really fucking vulnerable. She’s lost her mind. Lost control. And no man wants his dick in a woman’s mouth when that’s the case. “Ava.” I yell her name, reaching down and grabbing the only thing I can reach—her hair—and pulling. “Ava!”
She eases up on my balls and it’s a fucking relief. I cover my face with my hands, breathing, catching my breath, unable to stop the blood rushing into my dick and head, my hips starting to circle up into her frantic advances.
The throbs become too much, my teeth clenching to get me through the onslaught of intense pleasure, her mouth getting hotter, her moans louder, my head thicker. I can’t catch a breath. Can’t breathe. I’m holding on to her hair again for dear life as she ruins me with her mouth, and then one hand is around my throbbing balls again, another on my chest, she squeezes, and I hit the back of her throat. My hips buck, out of control, and I come so fucking hard. Every muscle, limb, and internal organ trembles with the force of my orgasm, and I settle, blinking back the black dots from my vision as she moans and swallows. “Fucking hell, woman,” I gasp, reaching down and pulling her up my body, unable to take any more contact down there. “Fucking,fuckinghell.” I kiss her hard. That was an apology fuck, and I both love and hate that I enjoyed it. “I take it that means you’re sorry.”
“No,” she says, and I smile on the inside. Of course she’s not. She accepts my kiss and keeps up the momentum, her hands all over the place again, feeling me. But better than lashing out.
Then she grabs my softening dick again, and I choke.Fuck. I drop her mouth, but she quickly kills the space between us again. I can’t take it, the sensitivity too much, so I reach for her hand, trying to stop her. “Ava,” I gasp, forced to turn my head to break our kiss. “Stop.” She wrenches her hand out of mine and grabs my dick again, and I wince, avoiding her mouth, turning my head constantly to stop her kissing me. What the hell? “Ava,” I say, but she continues to try and claim me, both my mouth and my dick. “Ava, please.” I knock her hand away and quickly flip her onto her back, restraining her. Again. I look down at her, withdrawing when I see her eyes brimming with tears.
Oh Jesus.“Baby, don’t,” I beg, shaking my head, my throat thick as she sobs beneath me, her hair sticking to her face. Despair. Hopelessness. “I understand.” Do I? Do Ireallyunderstand? “Don’t cry.” I kiss her as delicately as she needs to be kissed right now. “It’s always just you.”
