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“You’re challengingandin denial.”
“What am I in denial about?” I can assure her I am not in denial. In turmoil perhaps. Not denial. I know I’ve fucked up. I know I’m a fuckup. I know this slice of heaven could be stolen from me. But it’s not stolen if you don’t deserve it. So, in fact, it is me stealing something for myself that I shouldn’t have. So, no, I am not in denial.
“Being challenging and unreasonable,” she tells me. “Your performance today was way off the scales.”
She can’t be that naïve, surely? Even without all the facts and with me out of the equation, like I was until today when I put myself in the equation—idiot—Ava must realize Van Der Haus has a motive. He doesn’t only want her talented mind, the womanizing prick. He deserves everything Freja threw at him. I just wish I wasn’t one of the things she threw at him. “Mikael would have made a move on you, and then I’dreallyhave to trample him.”
She laughs again. This isn’t funny, and Ava would agree if...my thoughts fade off. “Well,” she says, all matter-of-fact, feeling my chest. “I think you made your point pretty clear.”I fucking hope so.“It was embarrassing.”
She didn’t look very embarrassed to me. Fuming mad, maybe. Frustrated. “It was necessary.”
“You should run more. Oh, the bath!” She shoots up and runs into the bathroom, and I crane my head to watch her naked form go. A bath. Sounds fucking perfect.
“No,” I say, stretching out my limbs, peeking down at my semi-erect dick. “I needyoumore.”
“Don’t you have me enough?” she calls.
“Nowhere near, lady,” I say to myself, knowing there would be little point ensuring she heard. She doesn’t get it. How could she?
She’s told you she loves you. What more do you need to do the right thing?
“Oh, bugger off, Jake.” I stare at the ceiling. But it’s a good question. What more do I need? I need a guarantee. She can throw as many I love yous at me as she likes. They’re words. I need a contract. Something unbreakable.
And you’re not unreasonable?
“Fuck off.”
I hear her feet padding the carpet, and she rounds me, settling back on my lap. “Have you enough?” I ask. “No, I don’t. I need you every second of the day, just like you need me. Constant contact.” I tweak a nipple, making her jump, and I grin, feeling my semi hard-on firm up, my energy levels lifting. Sex in the bath first? Or here? The bed? The terrace? The office?
“What if you couldn’t have me all day?” she asks, bringing me back into the room. Back to reality.
“Are you going to try and stop me?” The whole point of being in this bubble is so that no one can pop it. Ava’s come home armed with a bow and fucking arrow.
“No, but there may be situations when you can’t have instant access to me. I might be unobtainable.”
That sounds serious. Why would she be unobtainable? Even in a meeting she could send a quick, reassuring text. The only time anyone is legally forced to have their mobile switched off is on a plane, and since Ava won’t be leaving the country, especially not without me, this shouldn’t be a problem.
“Would you make a grab for the vodka?” she blurts out, and I laugh.
Jesus, never again. “I promised you I will never have another drink,” I say. “I meant it.” I sit up and take her hips, smiling at her flinch. “Bath,” I declare. That’s enough talking for one session. “I want your wet, slippery skin all over mine.”
She doesn’t look impressed as she stands, offering me her hand. “Your confidence is commendable.”
I move fast, pulling her back to the rug and laying myself all over her, slamming a hard kiss onto her mouth. Maybe this will convince her. “It is all very easy,” I say between laps of my tongue, relishing the sound of her want, “because I have you. Unravel your knickers, lady.”
“So, tomorrow,” she murmurs, kissing me back, indulging me. “I’ll be undisturbed all day?”
No. I can’t have another Monday or Tuesday. And today was still horrific, despite getting to have brunch with her. And now Van Der Haus is in the picture? How the fuck do I get her back to The Manor to work without us falling out over it? “Lunch?” I ask, knowing I’m clutching at straws.
“I’m meeting Kate for lunch.”
“Can’t I come?”
“No.” She gives me no more. Just a flat, straight no.
“I think you’re being unreasonable.”
She laughs, her head thrown back, her throat stretched. The sound, the sight, is glorious. The reason? Not so much. I squeeze her tickle spot on a curl of my lip.
