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I need to make friends with Ava. And I need to tell her about Mikael.
I just can’t go on like this.
25
I’ve satoutside The Manor, staring at the steering wheel for so long, it’s no longer a steering wheel. It’s a black blur of nothing. My playlist finished God knows how long ago, and my arse is dead. I’m forced to move when my phone rings in my back pocket, lifting my backside to pull it out. Steve. “Hi,” I say, settling back down.
“The white BMW is registered to a Matthew Gary Turner.”
Matt.My eyes burn into the glass windscreen before me, every inch of me stiffening. I’ve spent most of today feeling pretty fucking strung, my whole fucking body is now aching. “Matthew Turner,” I repeat, sounding surprisingly calm. Perhaps because I have no rage left inside me. Nothing left to give.
“That’s right,” Steve replies. “You know him?”
“Yeah, I know him.” I hang up, my mind chasing in circles around this new addition to my overflowing pot of shit. What the fuck is he doing hanging around The Manor?
Tap, tap, tap.
“Fucking hell,” I breathe, jumping in my seat.
“You gonna sit here all day?” Sam asks, opening my door for me. “You’ve been here for over an hour.”
I exhale and get out, stretching my body as I look up at The Manor, then at my watch. “I need to go,” I say, dropping back to the seat and pulling the door shut, starting the engine. It’s gone five. By the time I’ve battled my way back through the traffic to Lusso, it’ll be gone six. Ava will be home.
Sam pulls the door open again, and I fight with him to get it shut. “What the fuck’s going on?” he asks. “What’s wrong?” I turn tired eyes onto him, and he withdraws. “Shit, Jesse, you’ve got to tell her.”
I laugh. Yeah, just like that, tell the woman I love—the woman I’d die for—that I put my dick in two other women. “I might not have to.”
“Why?”
“Van Der Haus knows about me and Freja. He also knows about me and Ava. Which means he’s currently piecing together a timeline to confirm his suspicions while stirring up a pretty lethal pot of shit.”
“Oh shit.”
“Yes. And on top of that, I just found out Ava’s ex has been hanging around outside The Manor. Call me suspicious, but I get the feeling he’s digging for shit on me to feed to Ava.” Just another someone trying to stop me remaining in heaven, although heaven feels like fucking hell right now.
“So what are you going to do?”
“Grow some fucking balls and tell Ava about Freja before someone else does.”
“Good plan.”
“Right after I ask her to marry me.” I slam the door and whack my car into gear, but just as I’m about to pull off, Sam throws himself in front of my Aston, slamming his palms down on the bonnet. I flinch, staring at him incredulously, as he stares back with wide, worried eyes. “The fuck?” I yell, getting out.
“Yes, the fuck,” he shouts back, marching round to the door. “Are you fucking insane?”
I cock a brow, insulted. “Do you have a death wish? What’s so insane about wanting to marry her?”
He stares at me, just stares, and eventually shakes his head. In despair, I think. “You are.” He throws his hands up and goes to his Porsche. “You’re fucking insane.”
“Who’s insane?” Sarah asks, strutting across the gravel in her skyscraper heels. I throw Sam a warning look that he can’t appreciate because he’s not looking at me.
“Him,” he yells, firing his fob at his car. “Someone needs to have a word with him.”
Sarah looks me up and down. “Why have you been sitting out here in your car for over an hour?”
“I was on a call.” I slide back into my car.
“I thought you’d be with Ava, actually.”
