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And now, I’ll never know.
“…so, if I’m going to have something ready for tomorrow, I should probably get going. Unless there was something else?”
“I think that covers it, Elsie. Thank you.” No clue what she said. But I’m sure it’ll be fine. “I should get going, too. I need to hit the city admin office for some of our permits.”
“Great, okay.”
I walk her out of the café. Part of me feels the urge to hug her before parting ways, but I am not a hugger, and I wouldn’t know how to start that. It’s just…I want to feel her pressed up against me again. Best not to, though. “See you tomorrow? Two good?”
“Sounds good. See you then.” There is something on her mind—she’s dawdling.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, um—we’re doing the right thing, right? Being professionals and everything?”
No!“Of course. Let’s keep things on the level.”
She smiles. “Right. Of course. See you tomorrow.” She gets into her rental and drives away, leaving me with a knot in my gut and an ache even lower.
Why did she have to ask that now? Why bring it back into the fore? I huff and walk back to my office to get my car. No sense in hoofing it to the city administration office—my Ferragamo’s are stellar to look at, but they pinch, and I’m not walking two miles in them while they devour my toes.
I park out front and before I go in, I take a moment to cool down. Elsie’s question gnaws at me. It leads me to believe she is wondering if we are doing the right thing, and if she’s wondering that too, then why in the hell are we wondering about this separately, when we could figure it out together, naked in my house? Driving my head against the headrest, I groan at myself. I am frustrated and horny, a poor combination if ever there was one. Especially when I am about to speak to the permitting office. I need my focus back.
But it won’t come back unless one of two things happens. One, Elsie tells me she is not interested in me. Or two, I seduce her again. The question is, how?
Never once did she express disinterest. She only said that we shouldn’t be fooling around, and she said that while agreeing with me on the matter. But none of that means anything if she’s determined not to fall into my arms again. Elsie is stubborn as hell, and if she’s decided not to sleep with me again, there is no changing her mind.
But I can make her regret it.
The first time we had sex, I thought what I had begun would end at a kiss. But once I had that, I needed more. Elsie kissed like she had been touch-starved her whole life. She fucked like it, too. Like she craved everything I did to her. I know I did.
So the question becomes, how do I make her crave me again?
I take a breath and let it out slowly. It’s wrong to fuck with Elsie like this, and I know it, but I need to touch her again. To taste her. Feel her. There is something between us and professional or not, I want more.
She was spending time with Lily, and the two of them seemed quite chummy right off the bat at the clambake. I could ask Lily for some information about Elsie…but Lily might not be open to sharing that sort of thing with me. Women aren’t big into helping men get— wait.
Lily left in far too much of a hurry today. She was trying to make us spend time together. Why? What did Elsie tell her? God. If Cormac knows she and I hooked up, I will never hear the end of it. But, then again, he did distinctly call her my match. Is he in on this, too? And Beckett is the one who invited Elsie to the clambake…
Is my family conspiring to get me a girlfriend? I laugh at the thought. They’ve never tried to set me up before, though that is likely due to the fact I’ve always told them not to. Long ago, I told them not to try because marriage is not for me and I am not the commitment type. So, they’ve never inserted themselves into my love life.
But when it comes to Elsie, it seems we are all acting out of our character. There is something special about her, so I understand why they would do it. And the only reason to stop them would be if I weren’t genuinely interested in her. I suppose that is the real question at hand.
Am I interested in her? Yes.
Am I interested in her enough to risk all the possible things that could go wrong? Unsure.
The first time I took the leap, I kissed her without thinking of what it could do to her career if word got out that she kissed a client. What came next was a pleasant surprise, but I was thinking only of myself and what I wanted. But now, looking at the whole picture…is it worth the risk?
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22
BEAU
The city administration office is a two-story brick building with a green roof and too many trees out front. Bright yellow flowers line the sidewalk from the parking lot, and summer songbirds swoop from flower to tree. My dour mood bristles at the persistently cheerful sights. It feels like being told to smile when I’m already irritated, and it doesn’t help that the convertible next to the only open space is a little nicer than my car.
I cannot pursue Elsie. It could damage her reputation, and therefore, her career. The situation is unfair, but that is adulthood. One unfair thing after another. I will handle this with grace and aplomb.
