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Making my way to the long line for the keg at least gives me something to do. I scroll on my phone, to try to not look like such a loser, when I feel someone link their arm through mine. “Can I cut in here with you?”
It’s Nayla, and I’ve never been so happy to see a familiar face. “Please. I was pretending to not be such a loner. I don’t really know anyone here. I don’t know why I came. My dad said I should make more friends. But who could make friends in this chaos?”
“Well, this is a good start,” Nayla says in an easy tone as she jostles our arms together for emphasis.
“Good point.” Now I have a genuine smile on my face for the first time tonight. “Didn’t peg you for a frat party kind of girl.”
“I’m a free-beer kind of girl.” She winks at me and holds up an empty red cup.
“Xander seems like a free-beer kind of guy, but he was judgey when I told him about the party,” I say in my most nonchalant tone, even though I am totally fishing for details about my roomy.
Nayla pulls her lips in between her teeth for a moment. “He used to be. He’s growing past all that. Lucky for you, I’m not!”
When we get our beers, Nayla clinks the plastic cup against mine and chugs down the golden liquid, and I awkwardly attempt to follow suit. Liquid dribbles down my mouth and I wipe it with the back of my hand, gasping for air.
She laughs, grabbing my hand in hers. “Come on, let’s dance!”
Xander
I’m so fucking frustrated. Probably why I just pounded out a hundred and eleven push-ups in under five minutes. Didn’t know what my limit was before tonight. I’m not sure why it bothers me so much that Cameron has gone to a frat party. Maybe I’m just jealous that I can’t party anymore. That’s the line I want to believe, but I know it’s bullshit. I wanted Cam to stay in again with me, like he has most nights, so I don’t feel so alone. Not like we talk a lot, but it’s nice just to have him here.
Instead, he’s clearly on the prowl, all dressed up, trying to find a boyfriend I assume. No one here is good enough for Cam, I know that for a fact. Cam is the exception to my theory about humans, he doesn’t have a selfish bone in his body.
I text Nayla to ask her if she is stopping by any parties tonight.
Not feeling tempted, are you?she fires back.
Hell no, but Cam is going to Browning’s frat. They are going to eat that kid alive. He’s too trusting for his own good.
Three dots appear and then disappear a few times before the message finally comes through.Nice to see you caring about someone other than yourself (and me, of course).
Now that’s just a wholly unacceptable accusation, but I manage to ignore it, because I have an agenda.Well, if you find yourself out that way, make sure he doesn’t die. I don’t want to bother getting a new roommate.
Ten minutes later, Nayla sends me a selfie of her and Cam on a crowded dance floor, with big happy smiles on their faces. And somehow, that makes me feel even worse.
All I want to do right now is go down there and check on Cam. Make sure Nayla doesn’t let him drink too much. She loves to drink. Hell, we both do. But I can’t. I get bad ideas when I drink. So I won’t. But I could at least stop by. Have a smoke outside the party.
There’s an idea.
***
I can hear the party before I even arrive. There is loud base-rich music bumping out through the walls of the old structure. The wraparound porch is empty though. Not surprising, since the frat is college-sanctioned, which means they try to keep people inside to not draw too much attention to the fuckery going on inside.
The whole sight is familiar, and yet, I’m surprised that I feel no urge to head inside. Maybe I’m growing a little bit. My therapist thinks I am, based on my progress so far. Jury is out.
The house is an utter piece of shit, and the rail almost falls over when I try to grab it. The porch is littered with strained plastic chairs and covered in about forty layers of paint.
I can see my breath already. It’s starting to get really cold at night. That’s one thing about Glen Arbor, it’s so far north, you gotta make sure your balls don’t freeze off in the wintertime. But this is where Nayla wanted to go to school, so I had to follow.
Not sure what the fuck my plan is anymore now that I’m here, I sit on a chair in the dark corner of the porch and light a cigarette. I don’t make a habit of smoking, usually, but they are the only bad things I can do right now, and I need something destructive so I don’t barge inside and carry Cameron out like caveman.And do what with him, exactly?
That’s a thought I’m not going to elaborate on. Won’t let myself. I’m already pushing it just by being here.
When the door bursts open, I stay quiet in the shadows as I watch Zack Browning and his girlfriend, Haley, stumble into the darkness. I feel this weird little pang in my chest at the sight of her. Thank fuck she woke up from that coma.
They are both wasted, and Zack is pawing at her. She is slurring her words and complaining as a car pulls up and she gets in quickly. Is it safe to drink that soon after a coma? It’s been what, four months? Not even. Not my business though.
“Did she get her ride okay?” a sweet voice calls out. I didn’t even realize the door had opened with all that commotion. But I know that voice. It’s my Cam. No. Not mine. Just my roommate, Cameron, I mean.
