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I smack my palm against the heavy metal bar that releases the door and sprint off into the cold. Don’t care how drained I am from that workout. Just need to get far away from Cam. From the pain I’ll cause him. Better he learns now.
***
Wishing I had anywhere to go but back to my room, I take my time in the showers. Then I close down the dining hall. I watch a movie in the common room. People steer clear of me. Think my reputation has finally caught up with me.
Eventually, I’m whacked. Cam is usually asleep by midnight anyway, and it’s nearing 2 a.m. Just don’t look over at his side.
Easier said than done.
The minute I open the door, my eyes snap to his bed, which is still neatly made and empty. What the fuck?
I check the time again, as if somehow I’ve gotten it wrong. It’s one fifty-six.
He hasn’t come home?
Was that really a date? Is Cam wrapped around the blond guy? The thought makes my blood boil, my fists clench at my sides.
It’s for the best.He deserves someone normal. Even if normal around here means more fucked than me. The normals here know how to fit in. To cloak their perversions. To keep up appearances. Never gave a fuck about that myself.
Why can’t I stop staring at his side of the room? It’s too much color. That’s why. Like a moth to flame. That’s all it is. I try to close my eyes, but they keep opening to look over there.
Lying back on my bare mattress, I ball up a hoodie to prop under my head. Mattress feels extra lumpy tonight. Room seems colder than usual. I tug on a pair of sweats over my gym shorts. Doesn’t help though.
What if Cam isn’t okay? The blond guy didn’t look big enough to overpower Cam, so I should assume he’s fine. Unless he’s not. Unless he’s lying drugged in a ditch somewhere. I could hack his accounts. Check his phone’s location.
But that’s off limits. Definitely falls into the category of things I no longer do. Exploit my powers. Breaking the moral conduct of polite society.It’s stalking, you sick fuck.Yes. It is stalking. Can’t do that, even though I want to.
Fuck.Feelings suck ass. No wonder my brain carefully avoided them for so long. Maybe it was self-preservation. When I hung around people who were assholes at their core, didn’t have to worry about feelings. I know how to be around assholes. But kind people like Cam? Yup, never saw that shit coming.
I sit up with a huff and stare over at his bed. He’s really not coming home tonight? Crossing the short space in two steps, I sit down. His comforter is soft. Displacing the blankets means his sweet grapefruit smell is wafted into the air. Can’t help myself then... I lie face down in his pillow like a total simp. How pathetic am I?
Cameron
After the crushing run-in with Xan, I don’t have the heart to fake a smile for Leo anymore. I make an excuse and drive straight to my dad’s place. There’s no way I’m going to face Xan tonight.
It’s a peaceful drive through the small town. Dad’s place is just on the border of Glen Arbor. Even though it’s dark out, I can catch glimpses of the orange-brown trees in the beam of my headlights. They remind me of Xan’s eyes, so I focus on the gray pavement instead.
When I arrive, Dad’s sitting in his single recliner, watching a documentary on the Egyptian pyramids. He looks surprised when he turns at the intrusion. “To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?”
I shrug. “No reason. Just wanted to crash here tonight.”
“Roommate get a romantic partner or something?” He chuckles at the thought.
And of course, I burst into ugly tears.
“Whoa, what’s this about?” He makes it to me in two strides and wraps me into a hug.
I sniffle into his sweater. The place I’ve found comfort for so many years. Probably getting too old to be comforted by my father, but I’ll give myself a break tonight.
“Let’s get you some cocoa,” he offers in his soothing voice.
“I’m too old for cocoa,” I complain, and follow him to the kitchen.
He chuckles and raises a brow at me. “Whiskey then?”
I’m not twenty-one for a few more months, but I decide to push my luck with a nod.
To my surprise, he grabs the bottle of Jameson from the cabinet and two crystal glasses. Pouring a small splash into each, he holds his up and I clink his cup.
