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“Remember when you told me to pretend?”
“I’d rather not remember the more pathetic things that come out of my mouth,” I mutter, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment.
“There’s no pretending,” she says.
“Raina,” I growl. “Don’t tell me that was casual. I’d like to fuck the word ‘casual’ out of your vocabulary. You took my cock like a good little mate would, didn’t you? Explain how that’s casual to me.”
Her eyes light up.
“That’s not what I meant,” she breathes. “I don’t have to pretend with you. I’ve never once felt like I needed to be a different Raina for you. In the past, I’ve made myself smaller for men; letting them think they were in the driver’s seat. I’ve kept my opinions to myself. I’ve pretended to be practical or sweet . . . Pretended to care about their bruised egos. You don’t make me do that. What I’m saying is that I don’t have to pretend now, because I’m falling in love with you, Niko.”
I hesitate, my brain malfunctioning slightly.
“Falling?” I repeat. “This is what your people call it? Falling in love?”
“Yes. I can’t help it. I don’t know why I’ve been fighting against it, but it happened all the same. I don’t know what your spirit is or whether I believe in it, but I refuse to be afraid of it.”
“Saying you fell into it sounds accidental.” I rub the soft tips of her hair between finger and thumb. It’s grown longer in just the short span of our time together. “I know how you like to fight,ti kaia. Perhaps if you didn’t fight it, you wouldn’t want it.”
Her cheeks flush, and she laughs.
“I know the kind of fight you mean, though,” I confess. “I’ve fought with my own affection before, and I’ve learned it’s not in my power to change what my spirit clings to.”
“On Earth we say, ‘The heart wants what it wants.’ I’m curious . . . Whose affection are you fighting?”
I frown.
“Lalo?”
Lalo’s name on her lips surprises me.
“Yes, maybe that’s what I mean. But where did you hear of Lalo?”
“Rossa mentioned her. You’re easy to read. I know you love this woman. Who is she to you?”
The crinkle between her brows tells me she’s thought about this often.
“Do you wish this Lalo had been your mate?”
I laugh so hard my side hurts. I have to stop our walk to hold my stomach and wheeze for a moment. Meanwhile, Raina glares at me.
“Lalo is a very old female,korika,” I explain once I’ve composed myself. “She has had two different matebonds in her lifetime, been widowed, birthed seven children, and she has a wart on her eyelid.”
Her shoulders drop in relief, and she laughs along with me.
“I like your jealousy,” I say.
“I don’t know Lalo, but I’m sure she’d agree that mentioning the wart was a bit much.”
“Maybe.”
“Is she your grandmother then?”
“When I was orphaned, I wasn’t the only one who needed a home. Lalo took a few of us in. One of the others was Kallasiko, the male that Rossa was looking for.”
“You and him grew up together?”
“We did. He and I were very close, along with one other male.”
