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There’s something freeing about how much he’s pissing me off. I was trying to understand his point of view, like the empathetic sap that I am. But now that he’s crossed too many lines, I’m done giving him grace.
But as I set my shoulders and stare him down, I start to wonder whether I’ve poked the beast too harshly. His jaw ticks. His nostrils flare. And I know he’s about to unleash some pent-up alpha male bullshit.
“No, you will not,” he seethes. “I don’t know what I have to do to make you understand that I am not a normal warrior, little flame. I did not make up rules in my head. I live by these cautions because they are necessity. I am the king’s blade. I am a killer and a destroyer who many people in this universe would like to exterminate. No mate of mine has the liberty of frolicking around a colony so lacking security that you were already kidnapped once! And that was before you became mated to enemy number one. Do you realize that the Azza have an entire team dedicated to finding a way to kill me?”
“Do you expect me to live in a bubble, then? If the situation is as dangerous as you suggest, then I can’t go anywhere!”
“Now you’re catching on,” he says with a little mocking smirk.
“Here’s a better idea. How about you pretend I never existed in the first place? Leave me alone and the rest of the world will never know I belong to you. Because in my mind, I don’t.”
It hurts him, and I knew it would. I regret it immediately. I don’t enjoy hurling words that will sting in a fight, but I don’t know how else to make him let go of me. If he won’t agree with me, I can push him away.
“I already tried that.” His words are eerily soft.
“Leaving me alone for a single day doesn’t cou—”
He lets out a dark chuckle; there’s something familiar about that humorless sound. A laugh without happiness.
“If I could put you in a bubble, I would. I know you’re a human, but do you have any idea what you mean to me as my mate? You’re precious to me, no matter if you never deem me worthy of a kiss from your lips.”
“I’m sorry for being harsh,” I burst out, the stupid guilt getting to me. “I don’t hate you. I don’t want to make you think I’d never consider accepting affection or getting to know you. But if you won’t respect my wishes, then you don’t deserve to show up here, strip down in front of me, and sleep next to me.”
“I respect your wishes. Doesn’t mean I plan on granting them.”
“I know you can’t control the mating call, and maybe you did put me on this ship because you thought it was the right thing to do,” I say, knowing that despite my frustrations, this man does care about me and that’s worth something. “But that doesn’t mean I have to accept it. I’ve already been through this once before, and I don’t plan on doing it again.”
His eyes flare darker, pupils growing. I half-expect him to go on more about my ex and how he’d like to kill him.
“Our bond does not need accepting. It simply exists.”
“Fine, butyouneed to exist on the other side of that door.” I thrust a finger towards the exit.
“I will sleep on the floor if you wish, but I’m not leaving you alone in here. Besides, this is my room.”
“I don’t care. You decided to bring me here without planning it out. So live with the consequences. Sleep in the hallway for all I care.”
“I understand that I made a decision that you take issue with, but why is it so out of the question to entertain that the bond between us could have merit?” he demands, making it evident that his insistence on staying here has less to do with the crew’s sleeping arrangements and more to do with his claim on me.
“I won’t make the same mistake twice,” I reply. The kernel of vulnerability in his words makes it harder for me to stand my ground. “I don’t need another husband who ignores me all day only to show up for bedtime just to disappoint me yet again!”
The last sliver of white disappears from his eyes.
“You think I would disappoint you in bed?” he asks slowly.
“Well, I-I-” I trip over my words momentarily, caught off guard by the way he stalks closer to me. “In my experience, a man who doesn’t listen to you during the day certainly won’t listen to you at night.”
When he reaches me, I’m frozen under his gaze.
“Day and night?” he says, his tone deadly low. “Does the time of day matter when it comes to satisfying a needy mate?”
His heat radiates over me as he leans a hand on the wall just behind my head. I’m boxed in but not quite trapped. I could probably walk away, but my feet are rooted in place. My body wants to hear him out.
“How could I ignore you? You’re all I think about. And if I had the chance to claim you as a mate should, then you would not be safe from me any time of the day. I would haunt your every waking interval with my greed. Didn’t you notice I’m an impulsive male with no scruples? Don’t go mixing me up with your failure of a human. You’re not happy with my choice— Fine, I understand. But don’t start applying his rutting qualities to me out of assumption. Did he only pester you for affection when the lights had been turned down? Did he never give you what you needed? Perhaps there’s no point in killing a fool like that, likely too stupid to live.”
“I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I don’t mean to compare you—”
“There is no comparison. Refuse my touch out of anger if you please, but you should never doubt that I could make you come until you begged me to stop. The time of day would not even occur to your pleasure-addled mind,ti kori.”
