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“This is my fault we’re in this predicament,” Cazar murmured against her hair. “I should have never come here. I should have learned to live with this instead of fighting it.”
“It’s not your fault. It’shis,“ she said quietly, hugging Cazar tight.
“What do you wish to do?”
She snorted, but the sound was full of resignation. “What does that even mean? I either let Toroq chase me down, bond with me completely, and then leave, or he’s going to rip you to shreds and leave anyway.”
“Perhaps I can survive the separation. It did tell me that it has never taken over a host like this before. That even if it departed, I would be forever altered,” he admitted softly. “Surely that gives me better odds of survival.”
She calmed down a bit as he continued holding her, some rational thought seeping past her anger and hurt. Toroq was trying to give Cazar what he wanted. But the only way for it to leave forever would be if Evie submitted to this ceremony. Otherwise, Cazar would be in immense pain as it broke its way from his body.
Was that really something she wanted him to experience for her sake? No.
Evie groaned. “Those aren’t odds I’m willing to take,” she said vehemently, still shaken by seeing him on the floor in pain. “Have you ever heard of a ceremony like this? How does having sex purge it from your body?”
What? Like he blobbed out in Cazar’s sperm? She grimaced in disgust. Hopefully not.
And how the hell was she expected to survive something like that? Toroq was easily another foot taller than Cazar, wider and scary as hell. She could only assume his penis was proportionate to his body. Evie’s eyes widened, recalling the times that Cazar’s length had felt as if it was growing inside her. Stretching her to the brim.
She’d assumed it was just a wonky feature of Cazar’s now that he was different, but she’d been having sex with part of Toroq all along! She wouldn’t need to worry about him fittinganywhere, because he’d already ensured that hecouldfit, the sneaky son of a bitch!
Cazar shook his head before he replied, oblivious to her realization. “I’m not sure I can answer you, not without proper research. Each planet has different customs, but Toroq has always been an anomaly. I’ve never studied anything like this before.”
“I feel like this is going to upset you,” she whispered into his shoulder. She might have grown enamored with Toroq due to his fierce protectiveness, but Cazar was her man. Her mate. “Having sex with you while he’s there is one thing. It’s still you. But if Toroq takes you over then you won’t even be aware of what’s happening.”
Cazar was silent for several long moments, and then he sighed, scratching absentmindedly at his scalp.
Evie eyed him warily. “Toroq said something else to you, didn’t he?”
Cazar nodded. “When you were nearly eaten, I was conscious while Toroq took over my body. I was aware of everything, Evie. Not only that, Toroq has agreed to keep our minds merged during the hunt and ceremony. It might not look like me, but I’ll be present and experiencing everything while–”
“Don’t say it!” Evie shoved her palm over his lips. “Just–Don’tsay anything else, alright? I need a moment.”
Several long moments. But as Evie looked up, noticing the positions of the moons above them, she realized she didn’t have any time at all.
It was now or never.
Chapter 21
Shecoulddothis.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
“Are you certain, Evadora?” Cazar asked, lust already shining in his eyes as she slowly stretched her legs.
Limbering up wouldn’t matter, not really, but it gave her something else to focus on, and she needed the distraction. And considering she was about to let a legitimate monster between her legs, maybe the stretching would help her, even if it was just a little.
“You’re excited by this,” she accused lightly.
Evie would be lying if she didn’t admit, at least to herself, that she was also feeling similarly affected by this whole thing. In fact, it was all she could do to keep a level head, but as the seconds ticked by and her heart rate increased, it was impossible to not think about what awaited her.
After all, it wasn’t like she hadn’t experienced a part of Joe before. And she’d definitely enjoyed sex then. How much different could it be?
“I am,” Cazar rumbled in answer, his eyes glittering obsidian in the moonlight. “But if you are uncertain, we don’t have to do it. There has to be another way.”
Evie shook her head, her mouth drying even as her panties dampened in anticipation.
Cazar inhaled, his eyes sliding shut as a deep groan of need escaped him. “You’re craving this as much as I am.”
