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“I know. I can feel it, Emery. I know,” she says, resting her forehead on my chest softly. Her own tears fall as her body shakes, but I keep my hands firmly planted against my sides. I’ll never touch her again without permission. I’ll never touch anyone else without permission.
It’s not who I am. It isn’t who I want to be.
But what if I am her attacker?
“I should go, but let’s keep open communication between us. We work both sides of this and figure this shit out, yeah?” I ask.
She pulls back, wiping her face free of tears, nodding. “We figure this shit out together,” she agrees.
“Listen, that guy you’re hanging around...” I sigh. How can I say shit to her about her life, when I’m a huge part of where her life derailed? “Just be careful.”
She looks up at me, eyes assessing.
“I know I don’t have the right to say anything about it, Carina, I just...”
I’m cut off when the door bursts open, and in strides the pitbull himself, gun between two hands, eyes intent on murder.
“Back away from her right fucking now,” he shouts, kicking the door closed behind him with his massive boot.
My hands fly up without even thinking, and Carina turns, moving toward him.
“Carina back away from him, he’s clearly unstable,” I shriek, but she moves closer, resting her hand on his arm.
“Gage, it’s alright. I called him here.”
Gage’s eyes don’t clear of any of their rage, and they don’t leave me. I raise my hands higher.
“Why would you call him here? You need time to process what I told you, but he can come sit on the couch and have discussions with you?” he spouts, and she looks between us, her brows creasing with rising tension.
She turns and looks toward the window. “Were you outside again?”
“Did you put up blinds to keep me from seeing you?” he asks, ignoring her question.
My eyes dart between them, my shoulders burning as I keep my hands raised in defense. “Look, I was on my way out,” I start, but Gage laughs maniacally.
“You’re going nowhere, unless I say so,” he growls.
Carina sighs. “Go, Emery. I’ll call you.”
As I pass Gage, I turn my back to the door, keeping my hands up.
“I’ll keep you looped into whatever I find,” I tell her, and Gage steps toward me.
“You stay the fuck away from her. The only reason your brains aren’t on the fucking walls right now, is because of her.”
“Remember what I said about him, Carina. Be careful.”
“Me? What you said about me? What is this?” Gage turns on Carina, switching the gun to one hand and keeping it trained on me.
“Nothing, he just wants me to be careful, and with good right,” Carina waves her hand toward him where he’s showing her his true colors. He’s unhinged and proving every bit of my point without me having to say a thing.
Gage scoffs. “Your rapist wants you to be careful with me, the man who’d never harm a hair on your head.”
I laugh, letting my hands drop. “You have a gun pointed at me.”
He steps past Carina, crowding me against the door, pressing the gun’s barrel to my temple. It’s cold and actually feels good against the heat of everything raging through my veins. Anger, misery, and shame.
“You, I’d kill. For her,” he tells me. And I believe every word.
