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“I know. It will take me some time to fully believe it, but I know.” A long moment of silence passes between us. This is when we would have hugged again if Safiya were here. I suck in a deep breath and, with an unnaturally bright tone, add, “Now go have fun living the dream and bring me back something shiny.”
It takes some convincing, but I finally force her off the phone with promises to talk to her tomorrow. I hang up and drop my phone in my sweatpants pocket.
It’s over.
It’s all really over.
Resting my forearms on the railing, my hands dangle over the edge, and my chest is parallel to the concrete of the balcony. My breathing quickens, and I force myself to inhale slowly. Dark splashes of water hit the ground, and I realize they’re my tears. Relief like I’ve never felt before racks my body, scraping over skin and bones. It strips away years of tension until only the raw, pink parts of me are left exposed in the cool, evening air.
This moment, my money, my freedom—this is everything I wanted. This is what I worked so hard for, but it doesn’t feel anything like I’d imagined.
All my blood, sweat, and tears have done nothing to make my mother and Richard drop the case. It was not my hard work or even Gutierrez’s that gave me this moment of relief, butTitan’s.
I’m sure my lawyer doesn’t mind how we got to this result. I should be grateful. The logical part of my brain that remembers what it was like when I was nineteen with a quickly dwindling bank account is screaming at me to be grateful, but I can’t.
My mother and Richard were always so sure they were doing the right thing for me. forcing me to auditions I was too exhausted to attend, putting me up for roles I wasn’t comfortable with. Anything I ever disagreed with them about, they would find a way to force me to do it. It was always for my own good. My career blossomed under their tricks, but the moment I could quit, I did. They weren’t my successes; they were theirs, and they never let me forget it.
I’ve spent ten years fighting for money that was rightfully mine, and I couldn’t even finish the battle. Titan had to. It was his win, not mine.
“Fuck you,” I murmur, preferring the bite of the words on my tongue over the painful emptiness growing in my chest.
All Titan had to do was listen to what I asked for and to trust that I’ve been in this fight long enough to know what I want. When the situation changed, he should’ve talked to me. Maybe waiting the extra time to have a conversation with me before flying claws first at Richard’s face would have resulted in a different outcome, but I would’ve figured it out. I was always going to figure it out. Instead, I have everything I want, but shame from not being the one to achieve my goal, painful and aching, presses against my ribcage.
“Fuck you.” I say it again, this time at my regular volume, the force of the words spurring on my indignation.
This should be my moment of triumph.
Titan made it clear he didn’t think I was doing enough or that I could win my case without him. That if it wasn’t for him, I’d lose everything—and he was right.
Arrogant asshole.
“Fuck you, Titan.” I scream it this time, gripping the railing so hard that the paint flakes off under my fingertips.
The desire to make him feel the same pain overwhelms me and dries my wet eyes. I pace the small balcony, turning in tight circles to work out the sudden burst of energy that courses through me.
I itch to think of something that I could do to Titan to make him ache the way I do now, something I could take. There was the witch’s dagger on display in his foyer, the ceremonial mask, the priceless art on his walls. I want my moment of power back, but not one of those items means enough to him to make him feel what I want him to feel. Only the Pull and his need for the Keystone have that much sway over him.
Soon, I won’t see Titan ever again, and that should be enough. After this weekend, I can forget all about him. Eden sent me the rest of the clothes he bought me. They sit in still unopened boxes in my bedroom. The money he sent me will tide me over until I have my trust. I don’t need more, and I certainly don’t need to tempt fate when I’ve finally achieved what I’ve wanted for ten years. Still, my hands prickle with the desire to make him feel what I feel.
* * *
TITAN
“You’re late,” Dredd booms the moment I land on the balcony.
I snarl, pushing past him and into the penthouse. Dredd is undeterred and follows after me, though he stays more than an arm’s distance away.
“You did something stupid, didn’t you?” Dredd shakes his head.
“I don’t want to hear it.” I frown in his direction, and I swear he gives me a glance as if he knows exactly where I was.
It’s impossible. Every time I’ve flown to Julianna’s, I’ve made sure my brothers were busy with Strange business first, either searching for traces of Maximus or scoping out Freddy’s building. I monitored the skies on my flights across the city to confirm no one followed me. Dredd or anyone else could not have known I’ve spent the last three hours perched high in a tree outside her apartment window.
“Titan.” Dredd keeps up with my pace. “You were watching Jules, weren’t you?”
My pace slows, but I don’t stop.
“I know you do not like her, Dredd, but I promised to keep her safe while she is under my care.”
