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Kelly
Spending the evening with Trask is nothing like I thought it would be. I thought all his sweet words would change when we got back to my home, but I was wrong… so wrong. Trask has been nothing but a complete gentleman.
I put us together a fast dinner with the leftovers I had in my refrigerator. It was nothing like what we would have had at the dinner party his parents put on, but we were a lot more relaxed. We shared it in front of a warm fire that Trask got going in the fireplace. He’s much better at building a fire than I am. He looked at my furnace while he was waiting for me to finish with our dinner.
I found out that Trask is no better at working on furnaces than I am. He banged on it with a hammer. It didn’t respond. I laughed at him when he said the damn thing was older than he was, and we need to call a removal company instead of a repair man. It wasn’t so much the words he said but how he looked when he said them.
I am enjoying having someone else in my space. When Trask starts looking around at the walls, I become uncomfortable. I can’t put family pictures up or pictures of the few places I have seen so I am guessing he thinks my house is cold with no memories to be had. I feel that way a lot. I become uptight and nervous so I show Trask to my laundry room so he could put his gym clothes into the wash.
Dinner went smoothly and we are sitting under a throw and watching a movie. “Your home is nice, but you need to stay on Mrs. Lamb about getting it fixed up. Texas has mild winters most of the time but occasionally, the electricity goes out when it storms, or we’ll get the occasional snow. I hate to think of you here without all the things you need,” Trask tells me subtly. I know he is right, but I don’t want to give Mrs. Lamb a reason not to like me.
“I haven’t done much with this place to tell you the truth. I bet you think it’s weird with no pictures or anything. The few things that are up were here when I arrived. I do keep it tidy though.” Trask smiles at me.
“Different strokes for different folks. I thought it was refreshing and not overly decorated. You could be a minimalist in your living or decorating style. Some people don’t keep mementos on display in their home, they keep those memories in their heads and hearts. They don’t think that a picture or something material can capture the moment in time. I can understand that. I bet you wouldn’t guess that I jot down notes about things I want to remember.” I look at Trask closely to be sure he isn’t joking or making fun of me, but he seems sincere.
“You do? Like what?” I ask without thinking. I’m curious about what Trask would write down.
“Different things. I put them on pieces of papers or Post-it notes. The things I don’t want to forget. I put the notes in a box, and I keep the boxes with the year written on them. I probably have at least twenty boxes stacked in my bedroom closet at home. I started it in middle school. When everyone else was journaling, I was keeping notes and still do, to this day,” Trask shares with me.
“What made you start doing it?” I ask, curious of what could make a man stop and write small notes all over the place. It seems odd to me. I’ve never known a man like Trask. I have known that fact but something this small drives that message home.
“When I was in middle school, one of my English teachers had us do a journal one school year. I was always forgetting to write in it so I started writing notes so I could go back and put them in the journal. It stuck with me. Now it’s more a habit than anything, but I like to go back and read them. They show when I am making progress with something or goals I set. Funny things that make me laugh or notes to make me remember something about someone. Like the day I met you and my thoughts of how beautiful you were at that moment.” Trask’s words cause butterflies in my stomach. I don’t know what is happening to me. I’m not the kind of girl who falls for pretty words. I wasn’t that kind of girl. I know I need to keep my walls up to protect myself, but Trask is working his way into my heart. I have never been this woman, but I have decided to change my old habits. I have to say that I want to believe what Trask is telling me. I want this. I think I deserve it. Don’t all women deserve a man that cares for them? The old me would have shut Trask down and sent him on his way. One, because the type of men I knew would never give me these sweet words and two, because if they did, they would have an agenda. Trask has no agenda. He’s trying to share himself with me. Why do I have these thoughts? Why can’t I just enjoy this? I take a breath. I need to relax and be a normal person for once. I need to channel my inner Kim and enjoy Trask while I have him. I can do this.
“Is that all you have written down about me?” I ask softly.
“No. I have written something about you every day since I have met you. Even the days that I haven’t seen or talked to you. I wrote how much I missed you. I am worse than a lovesick puppy over you and tonight is the best Christmas Eve I have ever had because I am spending it with you.” I don’t know how much more of his tenderness I can take without crying and I am no crier. I’ve never been handled with so much care. I think I can tell Trask almost everything.
“This is the best Christmas Eve I’ve had because it is the first one I have celebrated with someone I care about in a long time. I don’t normally celebrate any holidays. They’re just another day but I decided this year I was going to make a change. I am so happy that you are that person,” I tell Trask.
“Me too, darlin’, me too. I am one lucky man. This is one of many to come. From now on, we celebrate together.” I want to believe those words, but I know I am living on borrowed time. I could be moved again. I could be called to testify, or I could be found by the people that want me dead. No, I can’t think this way. I want to enjoy Trask. I’ve fallen in love with Trask and right now, in this moment, I would rather die than not enjoy every minute I have with him. I’ll find a way to make this work.
“One of many to come. I like that.” I snuggle in closer to Trask. Yes, I’m going to enjoy every second of this.
Chapter Fourteen
Trask
Besides the occurrence at my parent’s party tonight, everything has been almost perfect. The only thing that would have made it better is if Kelly had shared more about her past with me. I know I am just being impatient, but patience isn’t one of my strong points. I did go online when Kelly wasn’t paying attention and ordered her an electric blanket. My clothes are washed and dried, and I change into them while Kelly is busy in the kitchen. This house is cold in just shorts and I will keep Kelly warm one way or another. The thought of Kelly being here by herself and being cold is driving me nuts. I will be having a long talk with Mrs. Lamb. My woman is going to be taken care if I need to pay to have the furnace fixed and the roof patched. It will happen or I will find us another place for us to live. Yes, I know our relationship is going at warp speed, but I know Kelly is mine. My grandpa always told me that if you find a woman that is it for you, to hold on to her tight because there is only one that is made for you. I know Kelly is the one for me. I have never let myself latch onto a woman or a woman latch onto me the way I have with Kelly and I will give Kelly the time to wrap her mind around that. It is going to happen. I know that as sure as I am breathing.
I’m not sure that Kelly believes in happily ever after right now. I will make her believe with the reassurance of my love every day. I will prove to her that I am committed to her and I am going nowhere. I don’t think Kelly has had a lot of people to care about her in her life. She’s too skittish. If I overpower her with my feelings, she may run. It won’t matter, I will chase her. I will lasso her heart if it is the last thing that I do. I will plant myself in her heart so she can never get me out and then I will make her love me back with all my charm. I won’t give up until she is mine forever. I am going to marry Kelly one day.
“It’s getting late, darlin’. We need to get some rest before tomorrow. You’ll be cooking and I am going to get up on that roof,” I tell Kelly. It’s after one in the morning.
“Alright, but how is this going to work? My bed is full size, so we’ll have plenty of room.” Kelly keeps looking at her hands and not looking at me. This is her tell that she is nervous. I get it now.
“I didn’t come over here to stay the night to get in your panties, darlin’. Not tonight, anyway. We’ll get to a more physical part of our relationship soon but not tonight. Tonight, is about us getting to know each other better.” I take a deep breath and think about what I am going to say. I am trying to be tactful. “I may be wrong, but I don’t think that you have had many healthy relationships in your life. Like I said, I could be wrong, but it doesn’t matter. I know you have a lot of pain in your past from some of the things you have said but mostly by what you don’t say. I want to change that, and I want to change things for me too.” I kiss the top of Kelly’s head as she sits tucked under my arms next to me. “I want to have a healthy relationship with you. I want to share everything with you. I don’t want a one-night stand. I am in this for the long stretch and I want you with me. I want to romance you and hold you. I want you to get to know me as I get to know you. Not just get down to tearing our clothes off and having sex. When you and I do move to our physical part of our relationship, I want to make love to you. I hope that you want these things with me. I want you to know that I not only want you, but I respect you as a woman, my woman. I know I am moving fast, and I will give you all the time you need, no rush, but I want a monogamous relationship with you and then when the time is right, I want you forever.” I feel trembles in Kelly’s body, and I look down at her. She is looking up at me with tears sliding down her face. “Please don’t cry.”
“These are happy tears. I have never had a man be so tender with me. I want those things with you but in my past, I have made mistakes, big mistakes when it came to men. I’m not a virgin and I have had more than a few sexual partners, but they were mistakes and bad judgement. I have never loved a man before.” I smile at Kelly and wipe away her tears.
“I never expected you to be a virgin, Kelly, and I never want to talk about any of your past partners. Just like I never want to discuss mine. We don’t look to our past when we are trying to make a path for our future. Those are words to live by from my grandfather. I took them to heart and live by them every day. Now, please, stop crying. It is breaking my heart,” I tell Kelly in a whisper. “When you are ready to tell me about yourself, then I am here to listen. I can’t fix anything from your past, but I have broad shoulders to lay your burdens on.”
“Trask, I would like to, but it isn’t easy for me to trust people. Some things, I’m not ready to share, and some, I just can’t. Maybe someday but not now. I can just tell you this, the scary parts in life aren’t the things that go bump in the middle of the night. At those times you can turn the lights on, and they will go away. Nope, it’s the monsters that stare you in the face with big smiles on their faces that will stab you in the back when they get the chance and you’re not looking.” Kelly stops and I feel a chill go up my back. “I’ll take the bumps in the middle of the night anytime.” I don’t know what has happened to Kelly in the past but that was before she met me. I won’t let anything touch her now.
“It’s a good thing for you that we live in Texas then and I have a big gun that will kill those monsters. Just call me your own personal monster killer. You are safe with me.” Kelly frowns a little.
“Don’t try fighting my battles for me, Trask. They are too much. I can handle them.” I laugh at that.
“I’m not going to fight your battles for you, darlin’. We’ll battle them together. You and me all the way.” I pull Kelly to me and she lets me. I feel her relax. “Now, let’s get to bed so Santa Claus can bring your presents.” We both laugh. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”
