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“Sounds like a deal. I will find some movies to watch tonight. You are staying tonight, right?” I realize what I have said, but I don’t want to be presumptuous.
“That’s sounds like the best plan. I just hope you know to get me to leave, you’re going to need to throw me out. Sleeping with you in my arms last night was my own little piece of heaven.” I relax a little. He’s not going anywhere.
“You can stay as long as you want but we’re going to need to invest in a longer bed so your feet don’t hang over the end, and you’re going to need to go and get some clothes,” I tell him.
“We’ll worry about that tomorrow. Today, let’s just enjoy the day with just us.” I agree and that is what we did.
Chapter Sixteen
Kelly
It has been two blissful weeks of Trask staying with me. I gave him a key last night, and I thought when we went to bed, Trask might try to take our make-out session farther. I’m ready to move on to the next level. I’m ready for it all. I’ve never had a man take their time with me and I feel guilty to compare what Trask and I have with any of my past experiences with men but what else can I do. I’ve never had a healthy relationship with a man. They were either using me or I was using them. There’s never been real feelings attached to any of it. I love Trask. I tried not to. I tried to keep my walls up but with his damn charm, he wormed his way into my heart. Now I want to know what it feels like to make love to a man rather than having sex and it only meaning quick gratification.
I don’t know how to broach the subject with Trask. He said he was going to be waiting on me to be ready. I’m ready, but I don’t know how to let him know without acting like a damn hussy. I want to climb my man and show him how I feel but my insecurity of being rejected by a good man is too much. I have decided that tonight I will face that fear and tell Trask how I feel. I have never loved a man. I know I need to tell Trask I love him and trust him to not break my heart. Trust isn’t my strong point but if I don’t put myself out there, then I will never know.
Trask got up and went to work on their ranch this morning like he does every morning. I don’t know how Trask is getting along with his parents. He won’t discuss them with me. All I know is he said they have been too quiet. He thinks they are up to something. He said not to worry about it, and he will deal with his parents so that is what I am doing. I’m trusting Trask.
I have been busy while Trask has been gone. I went into town and got everything to make Trask’s favorite meal and I even stopped in at the diner and picked up a fresh baked pie.
I have texted Trask off and on all day to be sure he will be off at the normal time. I have primped, shaved, and buffed myself so I look the best that I can. The table is set with candles and we have Trask’s favorite beer to drink. I have soft music playing to set the mood. I realized today that I have never done this. I have never tried to seduce a man this way. I’m nervous that I am just going to come off looking stupid.
I hear Trask’s keys in the door as I light the candles. I go in the living room with one of Trask’s beers in my hand and give it to him as he shuts the door.
“Well damn, what did I do to deserve you bringing me a beer to the door? You look amazing, by the way.” Trask pulls me in for a hug and then a kiss that sets my body on fire. I give it all back to him. He pulls back from me.
“Woman, I have tried being patient like I said I would but if you keep kissing me like that, my resolve may go out the door,” Trask says. He’s as breathless as I am. “It smells amazing in here. Did you fix smothered pork chops for dinner?”
“I did, and I went by the diner today and picked up one of those homemade peach pies they have for dessert.” Trask looks at me again. “You spoil me, woman. Have I told you how much I love you today?” Trask has been telling me he loves me for the last few days, but I wasn’t going to say it back to him until I was positive that I was in love with him. I know I am.
“I love you, too,” I say softly. Trask picks me up, making sure not to spill his beer and takes me to the sofa. He puts his beer on the coffee table. Trask sits down and I am on his lap.
“Say it again,” he says and I know what he means.
“I love you, too.” I could have played coy but since I said it the first time, my insides feel like they are full of love and happiness. I want to yell it from the roof top. “I have never told anyone I love them but with you, I want everyone to know how I feel.”
“Everyone will know when you and I are married,” Trask says, smiling and kissing my neck.
“Don’t you think that is a little fast. I mean, you don’t know me very well.” I don’t want Trask to ever know the old me. “We’ve only been dating a few weeks.” Trask is driving me crazy with the attention he is giving my neck with his soft lips. I have chills going up my back and my panties are wet.
“This isn’t my proposal but, darlin’, you need to know it is coming. I don’t care if I have only known you a few days, it’s going to happen. I love you and I won’t live without you. You are it for me and I will be your everything and you mine.” I know I should confess all my past sins to Trask, but I can’t. I want to but I need to protect him. I can’t give him up. He has become my entire world in a matter of days. Don’t I deserve some happiness in my life? I know I should slow this down and think about it, but for once in my life, I want real happiness for me, and I know I will only be happy with Trask. Trask and I lose our selves in each other, kissing and nipping on each other. I am ready for him to take me now, but Trask pulls away. “I am going to jump in the shower and then we can enjoy that dinner that you spent today making.” I am breathless and so is Trask. I look at Trask and start to argue. Trask pulls further away. “Anticipation, babe. I need a shower and then we can eat and just enjoy each other. I don’t want to rush this. I have been looking forward to it for far too long,” Trask says.
“Alright, Trask, but you better hurry. I want you and I’m not into delayed gratification,” I tease him.
“Your wish is my command. I will take the fastest shower known to man.” We both laugh.
Trask gets up and leaves the room and all my worries from earlier come crashing in on me. I know this is wrong. Trask is in love with a lie. I’m not the woman he thinks I am. Kim would never deceive someone this way, but this is the difference between us. I want Trask. I love him and that is honest and true. If I were a stronger and more moral of a person, I would walk away, but there is nothing that could get me to walk away from Trask right now. I know if he ever finds out the truth about who I really am that he will not look at me the same way. I want that look in his eyes. The look that he adores me, and, in his eyes, I can do no wrong. I would never do anything to hurt Trask. I couldn’t. He owns my soul. Tonight, that is all that matters.
Chapter Seventeen
Trask
I intend to take a quick shower, but I don’t do as I told Kelly. I give the woman I love a few more minutes to think about what is about to happen.
I know I love Kelly. I fell for her the minute I had seen her in the diner, but I get the feeling that Kelly has been hurt in the past and I want her on the same page as me when we make love for the first time. That’s why I have been waiting for her to take the lead.
The last two weeks have been heaven and hell combined. I have the worst case of blue balls known to man. I knew last night that I could have taken our love making further. Even making out with Kelly is making love to me, it’s just so much more to me. We could have consummated the love we feel, but I needed to make sure that Kelly knows that I love all of her and I’m not just one of those men waiting to get in her panties. I believe she’s had one too many of those kinds of relationships.
I want Kelly to know I am in this for the long haul and even if she wants to wait until we’re married to make love completely then I am here and willing. I consider all the touching and kissing with my woman making love to her because I want her to feel the love I have for her even when I am just holding her in my arms. It is all so much more than what I have ever felt before. It is everything I have ever wanted with a woman, my woman.
