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“You need to worry about you and yours, not me,” my mom tells me. I know I have lost this argument again.
“I’ll find a way to keep you safe for that weekend. You are a part of mine,” I reply, wanting her to hear my sincerity.
“I’m a grown-ass woman. I can take care of myself. You need to let me be. Don’t get mixed up in the fine details of my private life. It’s called private for a reason,” she tells me, her voice rising as she talks.
“You’re my mom. You’re my responsibility to take care of,” I reply.
“That’s where you’re wrong. I am the parent. It’s me who takes care of you,” she tells me with a smirk on her face. I finish my coffee and Buzz finishes his. This is the same argument, but a different day. I love my mom, but she is one hardheaded woman.
“Mom, just don’t. We have got to go. Don’t do anything stupid. Stay away from that club and clubhouse. Can you do that for me, so I don’t worry so much? You don’t frequent clubhouses and I know you can take care of yourself. All I’m asking is that you be extra vigilant of your surroundings. Is that so bad?” I just want her to be careful. If anything happened to her, I would be devastated. I know that I’m being stubborn, but I come by that trait naturally.
“Don’t take that tone with me. You’re sounding like a petulant child. It’s time for you to go. I don’t want to hear this. I’m a grown-ass woman and will take care of myself. What I do and who I do it with is none of your business. Got it?” She’s getting close to losing it on me. I know when to cut my losses with Mom.
“Fine. You know where I am when you come to your senses,” I tell her. I’ll fight this battle another day.
“Out. I love you, kid, but don’t speak to me that way. I will spank your ass.” My mom is trying to shoo us out of her house. Buzz and I both laugh at her. “Out, the both of you. I have shit to do today,” she tells us with a slight grin on her face.
We both walk over to her and give her a hug.
I look at my mom. “Just stay safe. I love you.” That makes her face soften a little.
We walk out. She’s watching from the window as we pull away from her house. It’s time to get back to work.
3
Billie…
I look out over our fields. It has been a long winter and now we have the fields planted again and harvest is on the horizon. To tell the truth, not only was winter long, but it has also been a long five years for me.
I was fourteen years old when my dad, William Nesbitt, the best dad a girl could have, had a heart attack while harvesting our vegetables from our fields. I would have been there with him, but I had a dentist appointment that day. I wanted to reschedule, but both my dad and mom shot that idea down real fast. I missed a day of school because my cap had come off and my tooth was throbbing with pain. Dad always said if any of his children missed school except for harvest season, doctor, dentist, or optometrist appointments, our butts were in school. Mom took the time away from the farm to take me to my appointment. Ryan and Maggie were both in Bible school for the day. It was Maggie’s first year to attend, and she was super excited to go every day. This left Dad alone to work in one of the fields by himself, while the other farmhands were in the bigger field.
We came home that afternoon and saw there was smoke coming from the field closest to our home. We drove straight there and the scene we found was not what we expected. The fire was small, and it was on the combine harvester. Ryan and I had the fire out in no time, using the fire extinguisher that we kept on the harvester. Mom found Dad lying close to the big machine. He was clutching his chest, and he was gone. Mom called the sheriff. We gathered around Dad and grieved as a family. Mom told us that Dad was gone from us forever. Maggie was too young to understand, but she held our hands as we prayed and cried. That was the lowest point of my life. My dad had always been my protector and hero. That day, along with Mom, I took those jobs on my shoulders for my brother and sister.
I loved my dad and still do. He was the best dad that a child could have. He was strict when he needed to be, but so much fun. He took us camping and fishing, but we also learned our work ethics from him. Work first, play later, and later always came. He will never leave me completely. I talk to him every night before I go to sleep. I just wish that he could give me answers to my questions and hug me one more time. I had spent many hours working alongside him in our fields.
We have a five-hundred-acre farm. Four hundred acres are separated from the homestead. It’s our company’s acres. The other hundred acres is our homestead and where we will always have a home. My grandpa and his dad before him worked this farm. It had always been passed down to the first child born in our family for generations. All the years before, it was always boys who would take it over. That changed with our family. I am the oldest child and so I run it now. My mom went back to work as a registered nurse. I just don’t think she can work the farm without my dad beside her. She had to take some refresher courses, but it didn’t take her long. She was determined. Now she looks at the financial books from time to time to be sure everything is going in the right direction, but the farm is mine to keep alive and running. It will go in my name the day that I marry.
It's easier since I graduated from high school. I was dead tired when I went to school and worked the farm. I have learned to pace myself now so I don’t burn out. I ended up being home-schooled my senior year. I didn’t walk across the stage. It was easier to stay home and get my schoolwork done at night. I never knew it was so hard to run the farm. Dad made it look so easy. After the first year, when I learned how to pace myself, it became easier. Now I wouldn’t do anything else. I have my dream of becoming an author one day, but that’s just for me right now. I have a lot to learn before I can take that jump and even then, I’ll still manage the family farm. That’s something that I would never let go. It’s a family tradition. It’s how I will honor my dad.
I’m pulled out of my thoughts when I hear my brother come down the stairs. “Are we still going? I know you said we would and you never break your word, but I also know how tired you are. I can help you get caught up tomorrow.” Ryan never asks very much of me. He was taught by the same man that I was taught by about responsibility. Maggie is the total opposite. She asks for a lot, and I try to give her what I can. She never had the opportunity to learn from Dad. Mom has done her best with her, but we all tend to spoil the baby of the family. Ryan is quiet. We go to the lake a couple of times a month during the summertime but it’s getting close to harvest time and time is needed in the fields. But I promised Ryan and Maggie that we would go this Saturday. We swim, picnic, and fish. If we catch enough fish today, tomorrow we’ll have a fish fry for everyone. We have some fish in the freezer from our earlier trips, so we should have enough with this trip. There is nothing like a mess of big mouth bass and some catfish fried but not overcooked.
“We’re going. I split the work crew up into three groups so all the fields will get the attention they need for today. If we can catch a good mess of fish, then tomorrow, we’ll have the fish fry. We can go through town on the way back and pick up some shrimp and crawfish. We have everything here for the sides, and I’ll bake a hummingbird cake for dessert. We’ll invite the farmhands to eat with us. It will be Mom’s day off from the hospital. I had Cap load the flat-bottom boat in the back of my truck. I put the trolling motor in there already.” I catch Ryan up with what I’ve done already. Cap is always happy to help around our home even if he is a farm foreman.
“I’ll get the rod and reels and our tackle boxes. I’ll get us some live bait and livers to take, too.” I hear Maggie’s feet hit the floor upstairs as Ryan finishes talking.
“I packed us a lunch in the cooler, along with some drinks.” I turn and watch Maggie walk down the stairs, swiping her hands over her eyes.
“It’s not morning outside. The sun isn’t up. Why are you both up?” Maggie whines.
“Because we’re going fishing and swimming today,” Ryan tells her.
“We are? For real?” Maggie looks at me.
“We are, for real,” I tease Maggie.
“Awesome! All day?” Maggie asks again.
“You don’t believe me?” Ryan asks her with his hand on his hip and a pout on his face.
