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“Mom says not to talk to strangers,” the little girl speaks up.
“Yes and that is the right way. Mr. Miller isn’t a stranger. He’s been doing business with our farm for the last three years, so we do know of him,” Billie explains to Maggie with patience. “She doesn’t mean anything. That’s what Mom has taught us. She’s eight going on twenty-one.” Billie smiles again, looking at her sister.
“How old are you and your brother? I don’t see you around town a lot.” This makes Billie laugh. This is the best way I know of getting the information I want.
“Like anyone would miss anyone in our small town.” I laugh along with her. “Ryan is fifteen and I’m nineteen. I’m out of school now so I usually don’t come to town much. I just order and one of the farmhands picks it up. Ryan is either in school or working on the farm.” Billie talks like we’ve been friends forever. I like that she’s talking to me but I don’t like the idea of her being so friendly to others.
“You’re right about the small town but your mom is right, you shouldn’t talk to people you don’t know very well. I’ll keep an eye out for you today. My club is cooking burgers closer to the picnic area.” I wink at her and her face turns a light shade of red. I touch her face before I know it and Ryan steps between us.
“You’re right, we should listen to Mom.” He looks at his older sister. I didn’t hear him step back over to us after he helped Maggie. He’s fast and protective over his sister.Message received, Ryan.
“Your brother is right. I shouldn’t have touched you. He’s a good brother looking out for you. I apologize for being so forward but, Billie, get used to the idea. We’re going to get to know each other. On your terms, but it is going to happen.” I leave them with that little bit of information and turn and walk back to my group. I may walk away from them but my eyes stay on them all afternoon. I see Billie walking toward me later that afternoon. She’s not sure about what she’s doing but she’s walking with her head held high and her shoulders squared back. Some of her brother’s friends showed up about thirty minutes ago. Billie’s body language stiffened when one of them stepped out of his truck. Billie makes it to me and I stand up and take off my shades so she can see my face.
“You said I needed to get used to the idea of seeing more of you.” She faces me. Our eyes are on each other. I see her fiddling with her hands. I know she’s nervous. “I would like that.” She smiles that breathtaking smile and my heart flutters again. Damn, I’m turning into a damn pussy. A damn happy pussy, though. “We caught enough fish today to have a fish fry tomorrow. You’re invited with any of your brothers you would like to bring. We’ll have fried fish, boiled shrimp and crawfish along with beans, slaw, hushpuppies, and fries. We’ll have some desserts too. My mom will be there, and you will need to meet her if you want to visit with me at the house. Don’t feel pressured if you can’t make it. I would just like to spend some time with you to get acquainted and time is a limited commodity on the farm.” She never looks away from me.
“What time should we be there? It will just be Buzz and myself. Can we bring anything?” I ask her. Her eyes brighten when I ask her. She wasn’t sure I would accept her invitation. This woman doesn’t know that I have only become more fascinated with her today. I see the way she’s like a mom to her younger brother and sister. She does what they want her to do instead of reading the book she brought with her. I watched the way she set up their lunch for them and then cleaned up while the other two played tag. She loaded everything in the truck but the two ice chests. Ryan helped her with those. I was waiting to see if he helped her load them or I would have loaded them for her. I also know she gave one of Ryan’s friends a loud talking to before he got into his other friend’s truck and they all left. She’s a good big sister and I admire that about her.
“You can come anytime after ten in the morning but the fry won’t be until two. We could talk after you meet Mom and while I’m doing the prep work for dinner, if you would like. We have everything. I’m picking up shrimp and crawfish on the way home. All our ranch hands and their families will be there too.” Billie looks tired. The sun has done her in today.
“We’ll be there if you promise me that you’ll get some rest tonight,” I tell her.
“I’ll get in bed tonight about midnight. I need to check the fields as soon as I get home. Then I’ll unload the truck and get some schoolwork done while I’m waiting for Ryan to get home and for my mom to get home from work.” Billie lines out her evening for me. I wonder if this is her schedule all the time. I reach for her face again and she leans into my hand. I feel like I’m the king of the world from just that action.
“Get some rest for me, please.” I bring her to me and kiss her forehead. She doesn’t resist the closeness between us but she pulls away way too soon. She leaves me standing there and I watch until her truck disappears. I am fucked. I have let a woman get under my skin without kissing her sweet lips. I wanted to kiss her and claim her but I didn’t want to scare her away. Billie Jo Nesbit will be mine. She’s mine now. She just needs to get on board along with her family.
5
Billie…
I wake up and it’s still dark outside. I look at my clock and it’s five in the morning. I’ve been asleep for four hours. I had a nap when Maggie and I came in from the lake. From being outside all day at the lake, with the sun and the water and then coming home and taking a hot shower, I was zapped of all my energy. Maggie must have felt the same way because she fell asleep before she even made it to bed. I picked her up and carried her to her bed.
Ryan made it home twenty minutes earlier than his curfew and he hadn’t been drinking. I was proud of my little brother on his first night out. He only stayed up long enough for Mom to see him before he went off to bed.
I stayed up and told Mom about Raider and all the things that went on at the lake yesterday. Mom cautioned me about the hazards of dating an older man. She was glad that I had invited Raider and his friends to the fish fry so she could give him her mom eye. I laughed at her. Mom is good at sizing people up and putting them in their place. I’m glad she always has my back. Mom was off to shower and hit the bed after our talk.
It took me a while to get to sleep last night. I tried to get some of my schoolwork done but my mind kept wandering to a set of shades that watched over my family all day yesterday at the lake. I can’t believe that a man who looks like him is interested in a simple girl like me.
I first met Raider three years ago. I was sixteen at the time and he and his other club members treated me with respect. I was too busy trying to keep up with the fields and my schoolwork to be having any thoughts about a boyfriend or any such things. I’ve dated a few boys from school. Their grandmothers sent them my way. Nothing serious, just casual dates and I’m still friends with most of them, even now.
Most boys think I am too old-fashioned to want to date. When I was thirteen, my mom and dad sat me down and had the talk about what happens between men and women and boys and girls. I had started my period, and they told me all the heavy things that had to do with relationships with the opposite sex. They told me the difference between love and lust and it was all a natural process. My hormones would be changing and so would my body. You would think talking about these things that I would be a bit embarrassed but it wasn’t awkward at all. My parents and I always had the type of relationship that I could discuss anything with both of my parents.
They discussed the ramifications of being a tease or being easy. I know they are old-fashioned terms but I understood what they meant. In the end, they only asked me to think about the consequences of my actions and think everything through and not act on impulse. I promised them both that day that I would never shame my family name and I would wait to give my virginity to the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I have done just that and I won’t be breaking that promise.
But if any man could make me break that promise, it would be Raider Miller. That man is smoking hot. The way he looks at me makes my body feel all the urges my parents told me about. I know he tried hiding his eyes to me behind those shades, but I could feel his eyes on me. It did strange things to my body. To look at the man, he is muscular in all the right places but not over built like some of the bodybuilders I have seen on television. His muscles fit his body. His butt is amazing. It looks almost sculpted. When he walks, he flexes the muscles there and I wish I could touch it to make sure it is real. The way he fills out his jeans makes my legs feel like Jell-O. His lips look so soft and I wish he would kiss me just once so I can feel the softness with my own lips. I have never been attracted to a man like I am to Raider. He’s the only male who has ever had me slipping my hands in my panties and relieving the ache that his staring at me put there.
I should feel guilty about it since I was using thoughts about him, but Mom said there is nothing wrong with self-pleasure. She’s a nurse after all and believes that if we pleasure ourselves, we won’t be in such a hurry to be with the opposite sex. She even gave me a pamphlet to make sure I would be doing it properly.
I took the talk well but when Mom had to give the talk to Ryan, neither of them were comfortable. Ryan was only ten years old when Dad died and he hadn’t gotten around to having the talk with him yet. It was a bit more difficult. Ryan was embarrassed to have Mom giving him the talk and he wouldn’t even look at the pamphlet he was given. His face was as red as a beet. The next week, when I was in town, I went and bought Ryan a girlie magazine and some Vaseline.
That afternoon, I took them both to his bedroom. He was sitting on his bed. He saw what I had in my hand. I laid the things on the bed beside him. He looked up at me, a little surprised. “Choke your chicken. Use the Vaseline for lube. Hide that magazine with your others so Mom and Maggie don’t find it.” I turned to leave the bedroom.
“Why didn’t Mom just say that? That I understand. When she started talking about feelings and hormones, she just confused me.” We both smiled at each other.
“Mom doesn’t have a room next to yours and doesn’t know that you’ve been doing this for over a year. She still thinks you’re her little angel boy.” There’s no embarrassment between the two of us.
“Next time Mom wants to have a talk with me, you do it. Mom’s explanations are too long and I lose focus. You do them better. Direct and to the point.” We both had a laugh at that and I left him alone.
To say our family is a bit unconventional is probably right, but we are practical.
