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I couldn’t answer that. She had a point, after all.
‘Will you?’ She asked, after a long silence.
‘Will I what?’
She looked straight at me, her gaze steady and unblinking. ‘Finish them? The Pendragons.’
A hundred different answers whizzed through my mind, but there was only really one I could give her.
‘If I have to.’
‘Oh, wow.’
‘If it’s us or them, what would you rather I did? I don’t like it any more than you do, but if it’s the only way to protect the world from another witch/fae war…’
She rubbed her face, saying nothing.
‘If I can end this without hurting anyone I’ll gladly do that,’ I said, meaning it. ‘I’m not a fighter, Keely. You know that. You know me.’
‘I know Lowen,’ she said flatly. ‘Who knows what I’ll think to Wulfram?’
‘I’ll still be me,’ I said, wondering even as I uttered the words if it was true. Wasn’t that what I’d been worrying about myself, after all? That Wulfram would somehow drown out the part of me that was Lowen, the way John Ford had drowned out Blaise St Clair?
‘You don’t know that for sure,’ she said, and I couldn’t deny it.
‘Why now?’ she whispered.
‘Because the unease is growing, and so are the voices of men like Golightly and Crossley. You saw how they reacted to the O’Briens in the chapel.’ I narrowed my eyes, thinking I’d like to say a few choice words to Aisling. ‘I can’t believe what happened there,’ I muttered. ‘If Aisling had just kept quiet… Now some of the witches are talking about fae spies in the witch community, and accusing the High Council of treason, can you believe? I mean, all they were doing was keeping relations cordial with the Shining Ones. And that’s another problem.’
‘What is?’
‘Well, Aisling. We know she’s not a fan of witches, and one day she’ll be the leader of the Shining Ones. Can you imagine how relations could deteriorate when that happens? We’ve got to win her over somehow. Convince her that witches aren’t the enemy.’
‘We’ve got ages to worry about that,’ she reassured me. ‘You know how long Killian’s people live.’
‘I also know they can be killed. So yes, in theory Orlagh could live for another century or two, but equally she could be killed tomorrow. I’ve got to think ahead about all these things. Don’t you see?’
She frowned. ‘I think I see a lot more than you realise. You’re taking too much on, Lowen. You’re not equipped to deal with all this stress.’
‘Which is why I have to prepare,’ I burst out. ‘That’s what I’m saying! I have to take my magic back and begin training as soon as possible.’
‘Training?’
I nodded. ‘We’ve been discussing it. Hector’s going to guide me through Guardianship, and Killian and Aidan are going to help me deal with the fae part of me, and they’re going to ask Sweeney to help, too.’
‘That’s—’
But I hadn’t finished yet. ‘Emrick says I’ll need to learn the disciplines of witchcraft. He’s going to ask Star to teach me about fire magic. Celeste can teach me about water magic. Sky is apparently an air witch, so he’s suggested I learn from her, while Sirius is an earth witch. What are you, by the way?’
Keely blinked. ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t exactly get private tuition on being a witch, remember? I just did what came naturally.’
‘That’s great,’ I said excitedly.
‘Is it?’
‘Yes! Because maybe you and I can train together, and you’ll find your discipline. Harley, too. We all need to be prepared. As much as I wish this could be just about me, I need to know you’re all able to defend yourselves. Emrick’s suggesting a bootcamp, here on the island. I’ll get my magic back then I’ll hunker down here for the next few months, training.’
‘So that’s what life’s going to be like from now on?’ she said miserably. ‘Stuck on this island for months, spending every day in some grim bootcamp, and steeling ourselves for a Pendragon attack the minute we get away from this place.’
