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‘I’m not sure if anyone would believe me, even if I did tell them,’ she admitted. ‘I know I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t lived it with him.’
‘Lived what with him?’ I asked, curious.
‘Everything! All those memories! You see, I didn’t just watch things happen to him. I experienced them as if I was him. It was the strangest thing.’ She put her hand on her heart. ‘I felt him, in here. Every emotion tugged at me. It was exhausting.’
‘No wonder you were so drained,’ Hector said, frowning. ‘Usually you just see the events play out, but you don’t experience the person’s emotions, do you?’
‘Never. It’s the first time it’s happened, and I hope it’s the last,’ she said with feeling.
‘You don’t think it could have been a trap?’ Sirius asked slowly.
‘A trap?’ Celeste tilted her head, thinking. ‘I’m not sure I understand what you mean. How could it be?’
‘Maybe he planted false memories. Or created false emotions. Or…’ He shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Blaise has no magic,’ Hector reminded him. ‘He doesn’t have the ability to do anything like that. To be honest, I’m not sure anyone but a Guardian could create false emotions. Fake memories perhaps, but not the feelings that go with them. No, that’s got to be genuine.’
‘What emotions are we talking about?’ I asked. I was intrigued to know what Celeste had experienced when walking around in Blaise’s mind. It must have been fascinating. Chilling, but fascinating.
‘Honestly? Not what you’d expect. There was a lot of grief and guilt,’ she said slowly. ‘He adored Bevil and was very protective of him. He got into a fair few scraps with local boys who made the mistake of bullying his little brother.’
‘Well,’ Sirius said uncomfortably, ‘we knew that. Ever since Blaise first recovered some of his memories we’ve had no reason to doubt that he loved Bevil. His last request to you was to clear Bevil’s name, remember?’
‘I know.’ Celeste shrugged. ‘It’s just, knowing it and experiencing it are two different things. It was so heartwarming. And then, of course, when he lost his mum. Oh, I thought his little heart was going to break.’
Her eyes filled with tears, and I realised she wasn’t kidding. Celeste really had gone through every emotion with Blaise.
‘Look, Celeste, I get it,’ Sirius said gently. ‘He’s not a complete monster. He cared about his family. That doesn’t mean—’
‘You don’t understand!’ Celeste pursed her lips, looking stubborn.
‘Well, give me something more then!’ Sirius shrugged helplessly. ‘Sorry, but I don’t see how any of this changes anything.’
Celeste turned to Hector. ‘When you found Mother Clipson in the dungeon…’
‘When he found Mother Clipsondyingin the dungeon,’ Sirius corrected her grimly.
‘What about it?’ Hector asked, ignoring Sirius.
‘I always pictured her lying on the stone floor, but she wasn’t, was she?’
Hector’s brow furrowed. ‘Well, no…’
‘She was lying on fleeces,’ Celeste said. ‘And she had a pillow under her head, and she was covered in fine blankets.’
‘She was,’ Hector admitted.
‘They were Blaise’s blankets, from his own bed.’
‘But it was Blaise who poisoned her!’ Sirius said, exasperated.
‘I know that,’ Celeste said tearfully. ‘But I saw him, Sirius. I felt the regret, and the self-loathing, and the pain. I saw him cradling her and telling her how sorry he was and making her as comfortable as he possibly could. He deliberately chose aqua tofana as it was painless, and he just wanted her to go to sleep. He stayed with her until she did.’
‘Celeste,’ I said cautiously, ‘that’s all well and good, but he was trying to murder her. I mean, as character references go, I wouldn’t say that putting a blanket over your victim and making sure she had a pillow under her head was much of one.’
‘Oh, I know that!’ She shook her head, clearly frustrated. ‘It’s hard to explain. It’s so different when you feel what Blaise was feeling. The regret. The pain. I didn’t know, you see. I thought he had no conscience. But he did. And really, I should have known, because when his memories of Mother Clipson returned he was genuinely heartbroken. It was a similar reaction to when his memories of Bevil came back.’
‘It didn’t stop him hurting either of them,’ Sirius pointed out. ‘Physically, in Mary Clipson’s case, and betraying Bevil by practising forbidden magic with Jennet.’
