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I cleared my throat and tried again. “I said I didn’t hate it.”
“Look at me, Bailey,” Pike ordered. Slowly, I lifted my head and was taken aback by the amount of desire I saw in his eyes. I looked at the other two and saw the same thing. I didn’t have to look at Boone for his reaction to my statement. I felt it pressing into my lower back.
“Anytime you want to play or experiment, you say the word, and we will happily stop whatever we are doing to trip over each other to give you what you want,” Pike continued, “but you have to be open and honest with us. We don’t want to cause you any more emotional trauma. You have to communicate with us. We can’t read your mind to know what rabbit hole it’s dragging you down, Sweetling. You have to tell us so that we can help you work through those thoughts and answer whatever questions are eating at you.”
I nodded at his words, knowing that they were true. I snuggled back further into Boone’s embrace, making him groan. “I’m gonna need you to stop moving, Honey Bee,” he whispered against my ear, making me shudder.
“Why don’t we start now? What caused you to freak out just then?” Caleb asked.
I took a deep breath and reminded myself I had just vowed to communicate better. “Well, as I said, I didn’t hate Pike’s hand on my throat and his threat to… umm…”
“Turn your pretty ass red?” Pike supplied.
I licked my lips as I felt my body start to heat. “Yeah, that. It made me question what was wrong with me and wonder what I was doing and what I had gotten myself into. Then I started to think about how I didn’t know any of you and how this could all be an act to lull me into a sense of security before you flipped a switch and started abusing me, and that’s about when the panic set in, like it’s doing right now,” I finished, panting as I fought to get a grip on myself. Boone pulled me tighter against him and placed a hand on my chest, forcing my lungs to obey.
“Bails, unfortunately, there is no way for us to prove we aren’t bad guys. It will take time to get to know each other and learn to trust each other. But let me ask you this: have any of us ever given you the indication that we would hurt you? Or that we had nefarious intentions?”
“No,” I said softly.
“He’s right,” Caleb said. “Think about it. There are four of us and one of you. Even if Matty was there, you’re still outnumbered. Why would we bother buttering you up when we could easily take what we wanted without the show?”
“You have a point,” I conceded.
“And who’s to say you aren’t pulling one over on us, and one day you’re going to poison us and turn us into jerky?” Ethan asked playfully. That made me snicker. I looked at Pike, who was smiling softly at me. He hadn’t chimed in after I gave him a play-by-play of my mental fuckery.
“I need you to understand one tiny thing, Sweetling,” he said. His voice was low and silky, flowing over me like the caress of a feather. “Liking my hand wrapped around your neck, or the idea of me spanking you, doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It just means you have darker tastes swirling inside you, waiting to be noticed. And there isn’t a damn thing wrong with that, understand?”
I nodded at him, then stifled a yawn. “We should get some sleep,” Boone said as he tilted us to lie down on our sides. I turned around in his arms to face him and laid my head on his bicep.
“Caleb and I will take the first watch,” Pike said.
I felt Ethan lay down behind me, spooning me as he buried his face in my neck. I hummed happily as I drifted off to sleep, utterly content and feeling safer than I ever have in my entire life with two sexy men wrapped around me.
They must have switched places at some point in the night because I woke up half-sprawled across Pike’s chest as he lay on his back with Caleb cuddled around my legs, using my ass as a pillow. How they managed all that without waking me says more about how much I already trust them than I could ever voice. I shifted to try and extricate myself from between them, but they both held on tighter. I really needed to pee.
“Need help?” Boone asked softly as he came to stand over us.
“Yes, please,” I whispered. He nodded, and I reached up to him, thinking he would help by pulling me from them. That wasn’t what happened.
Boone leaned over and smacked them both in the forehead. “Let her go, you stage five clingers.” I stared at him in shock while Caleb and Pike groaned out their protests but released me and rolled away from me, leaving me unencumbered and able to stand. “See,” Boone said with a smile as he offered me his hand, “you just have to know how to handle them.”
“I guess so,” I whispered with a giggle. I accepted his hand, and he pulled me to my feet. I started walking toward the bathroom, and he fell in step with me.
“Is it ok if I escort you to the bathroom?” he asked. “It’s just kinda dark in here, and I’d feel better knowing you were close by.” I nodded, and he linked his fingers through mine to hold my hand as we walked.
“Did you sleep well? I assume you did since you barely budged when we traded places.”
“I did. I think I slept better than I have in forever.”
“Hmm, I wonder why that is. What was different?” he teased as we reached the bathroom.
“Must have been the long day we had yesterday,” I answered as I opened the bathroom door. I pulled a small flashlight from my pocket and switched it on. I checked every nook and cranny quickly before I let myself into a stall. You can never be too careful, and even though I had been in here yesterday, it was better to be safe than sorry. I put the flashlight in my mouth as I quickly squatted down and did my business.
I didn’t see Boone waiting for me when I left the bathroom. I switched off the flashlight and pocketed it, and a tremor of fear mixed with excitement traveled down my spine. I didn’t know what was happening but knew I was safe. I felt Boone moving in front of me more than I saw him. It was pitch black at the back of the store without our flashlights.
“Do you want to play a game, Honey Bee?” Boone asked me. He was barely touching me, making me hyper-aware of the places where we were touching. My nipples hardened as they brushed against his chest.
“Yes,” I whispered.
