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“I learned not to show anything that could be interpreted as enjoyment to avoid the worst of his wrath. Unfortunately, that didn’t help with Jenny’s wrath.” I fell silent for several minutes, my words hanging between us.
“I really don’t think I’m going to like the answer to this question, but we need to know,” Gray said. I could hear the anger in his voice, and a voice inside my head whispered that I never should have told them. “What did she do?”
I swallowed another mouthful and prepared myself for the last piece of the story. “At first, she didn’t care about what Scott was doing to me. It gave her a reprieve. Until I began to develop, then she began to see me as the competition. She began to call me a whore as well. She told me it was my fault he was raping me and that if I didn’t strut around the house and throw myself at him at every turn, he would pay more attention to her. I swear, I wasn’t doing the things that she accused me of. I tried to avoid him at all costs. She would threaten to start lending me out to their friends. She never did, but only because I think Scott would have been angry.”
“Fucking bitch,” Caleb growled, slamming his fist on the table and making the glasses and me jump. I tried not to tremble as the bottle was passed around to each man. Anger radiated off of each of them. Pike's arms were banded tightly around me, and I could feel how tense he was. I hung my head as large teardrops splashed into my empty glass. I felt so ashamed and mortified that I had told them something I swore I would take to my grave.
And now they hate you, the voice in my head whispered. Now they see you for the disgusting whore you are. They would only stay now because they don’t have any other options. “You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to,” I said quietly. So quietly, when they didn’t respond, I worried that they hadn’t heard me and I would have to repeat it.
Pike suddenly relaxed beneath me, and his hold on me softened. I jumped at the sound of four chairs scraping against the floor and somehow knew they were about to walk out of my life. I closed my eyes, willing my tears to stop. I could cry when they left. Right now, I needed to be strong for them and myself.
I gasped when I opened my eyes to find four men kneeling on the floor around me, crowding in as close as their large bodies would allow. They touched me in comforting ways, a squeeze, a pat, or a stroke. Someone took the glass from my hands and set it on the table. Boone reached up with both hands cupping my face in them and wiping the tears away with his thumbs.
“Bailey, you listen to me right now. We aren’t angry at you. We’re angry at those pieces of shit, cock sucking-”
“Boone!” Gray admonished quietly.
“Right, sorry. My point is that we are mad at what was done to you. We are in no way mad at you. I’m so fucking sorry if we made you feel that way, Honey Bee.”
“But I’m disgusting. I’m-” Five angry growls cut me off.
“You are the most spectacular and amazing person we have ever met,” Caleb said. “Every time I think I see you, think I’ve got you figured out, the curtain gets pulled back a little further, and I find out again just how fucking strong you are.”
“So you don’t hate me? You don’t think I’m a disgusting whore?” I hated how small I sounded, as if my abused inner child was trying to break through.
“We could never, ever, ever feel that way about you, Little Dove,” Gray said, holding my hands in his.
“Yeah, if anything, you’re going to regret telling us because it just makes us want to protect and take care of you even more,” Ethan said, trying for a smile and almost succeeding.
Pike squeezed me tighter as if trying to soak up all my pain. “Sweetling, your scars are part of your beauty. Your pain shines like a beacon, drawing us to you like moths to a flame. Every smile, every laugh feeds us and just makes us want to coax more from you.” He threaded his fingers through mine, and I stared at the contrast of our skin and the scars on his arms. His scars made him beautiful too.
“This does give me an idea of how to work through this problem you have,” Boone said cryptically.
“What’s that?” I asked. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but I did know I would try just about anything for the ability to be with them like a normal person without all the mental fuckery I have rattling around in my head.
“I think you need some orgasm therapy,” he said with a sexy grin, his green eyes sparkling.
“And what exactly is orgasm therapy?” I asked hesitantly. Even if I would try anything, I wasn’t sure I could handle where this was going.
“Well, anytime throughout the day or night, we get to give you an orgasm. Obviously, you can say no, but only if you don’t want to be touched, not because you’re scared. No intercourse, cocks are off the table until you decide otherwise, and you do not have to reciprocate. We can take care of ourselves. This is about you and helping you rewire your brain to enjoy and embrace your orgasms.”
I swallowed loudly, and my body began to heat. Truthfully, I liked the sound of that. “By anytime, you mean…”
“He means anytime and anywhere,” Pike said into my ear. “Say we’re out in the barn, and I’m mucking stalls, and you’re heating the milk, and I catch you eye fucking me. I get to drag you down into the hay and make you ride my face until you scream as you come all over me.” A shiver ran down my spine as he brought back the memory from last week, except it ended completely differently.
“Ok,” I whispered.
“Such a brave girl,” Pike said proudly.
“And this goes both ways, baby,” Caleb added. “Anytimeyouwant something from us, you can initiate it anytime, and we’ll drop what we’re doing to satisfy you. You need to learn that following your desires and doing something for yourself is ok. That doesn’t make you a whore or a terrible person.”
“Anyone have any objections?” Boone asked pointlessly. When no one answered, he nodded. “Good. We start tomorrow. For now, I think we need to get our girl to bed. She drank a lot of whiskey tonight, and I’m sure after reliving her past, she’s exhausted.” He looked at me for confirmation, and I nodded. I was fucking exhausted, and my head was feeling cloudy.
I stood up and stumbled slightly as the full effect of the liquor washed over me. Five pairs of hands reached out to steady me before Ethan stepped forward and scooped me into his arms. “I got ya, Bails.” He brought me into my room, where my new bed was. The room still had plenty of space, but the bed was certainly the focal point. Ethan crawled across the bed awkwardly on his knees and placed me in the center. When he went to retreat, I grabbed his arm.
He raised his eyebrows and looked at me questioningly. “Do you want me to stay?” he asked. I nodded. “Do you want anyone else to stay?” I nodded again. “Who?”
“All of you,” I said quietly. “I know I’m going to have nightmares tonight and feel safest when surrounded by you all.”
