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I groaned in disappointment when Caleb got off me. He gently lifted me from Ethan, and I was passed to Boone, who set me in my spot in the middle of the mattress. My body felt like jelly, and I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to move for a while. "We should have been doing that all winter," I groaned as my heavy eyelids fell closed. They didn't even open when I felt a warm cloth between my legs as someone cleaned up the mess they made of me.
"Better late than never," Gray replied, kissing my forehead.
I hummed in agreement as sleep started to claim me. "I love you guys," I said before I fell asleep.
"We love you, too."
My last thought before I fell into a deep sleep was that with the right people, sex can be beautiful, as it should be.
Chapter twenty-one
Acoupleofweekslater, after another fun morning romp, we were cuddled into a pile, basking in the afterglow, when Ethan splayed his hand across my stomach.
"We had to of put a baby in you this time," he said.
I froze. "What? You definitely didn't. I'm on birth control. Children aren't an option." Is that what they've been trying to do? Knock me up?
"Since when have you been on birth control?" Ethan growled.
"I started taking it sometime in the winter. I knew we were heading in this direction and wanted to make sure that I was covered." I extracted myself from the pile and got off the bed to face them.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Caleb asked.
"You didn't ask. If you're looking for children, I'm not your girl. It's not happening with me. Another rule for the apocalypse: children don't belong here." I crossed my arms over my chest and wished I was at least wearing pants for this conversation.
"I'm so sick of all of your fucking rules," Pike exploded, getting off the bed to stand before me. "If everyone lived by your fucking rules, the world would be miserable. Life isn't as black and white as you try to make it, Bailey."
"Like I said, if you don't fucking like it, you don't have to stay with me. It's my body. I decide to procreate or not. This world isn't fucking safe for kids, and I refuse to subject an innocent child to this life," I yelled back. This wasn't something that I was willing to concede on. It would break my heart if they decided to leave, but I wouldn't compromise my beliefs. Not this one.
"Ok," Boone said, leaving the bed to stand between us. "Why don't we all calm down? Everyone to their respective corners."
Gray threw me some clothes, and I dressed quickly, shooting him a thankful look. "This is a conversation we should have had before we started having sex," Gray said. "We can't get mad at Bailey about something we didn't discuss. She's entitled to her feelings, and yelling at each other isn't resolving anything."
"When everyone has cooled off, we can revisit the topic," Boone said calmly. "But ultimately, Bailey, if you don't want children, we will respect that. But you have to realize that it might take time for some of us to adjust our visions of the future."
I nodded. "I can understand that, and I'm sorry I didn't mention the birth control sooner. It didn't occur to me that you would even want kids, certainly not so soon. I'm going to shower," I said, escaping to the bathroom.
When I emerged later, the house was empty except for Witch, who was waiting outside my bathroom door. The guys had thrown themselves into the chores and stayed away all morning. Even Gray stayed away now that his leg was healed, and it was weird not to have him in the house with me. Why didn't I think to talk to them about the birth control? If we were going to be together, as much as I like to say it was my decision, it really should be something that we discuss as a group. I was feeling sad as I made lunch. This was the first time we had ever truly fought about anything, and I hated feeling disconnected from them. It left room for the intrusive thoughts to form in my head. Witch stuck to my side like glue, picking up on my emotional state.
My heart leaped when I heard the sound of an engine. I went out on the porch and saw Matty driving toward us. Thank God. I didn't know if I would survive a tense, silent lunch with the guys alone. I rushed into his arms when he got out of the truck.
"Hey, B. You ok?" Matty asked with concern.
I nodded against his chest before releasing him. "I'm just happy to see you."
"You're lying," he stated bluntly. "I know every nuance of your face, and you're lying. Is it something I can fix?"
I shook my head as unwanted tears sprung to my eyes.
"Fuck, B. I hate it when you cry. Do I need to kick someone's ass?"
That question earned him a fleeting smile as I shook my head.
He slung his arm around my shoulder and led me into the kitchen. "Do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head again. "It's something we have to work out ourselves. It's our first fight, and I feel weird about it."
"You're sure it isn't something I can help fix?" Matty asked again.
