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“No,” I admitted.
She raised an eyebrow. “Do you just plan to be on your own your whole life?”
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Sounds really lonely.”
“That’s fair.” I was too rigorous a thinker not to admit that I might fall prey to the same longing for companionship that claimed my parents more than once. “If I decide to enter a relationship, I’ll be clear about what my partner could expect.”
“Which is?” Jenna’s expression, a mix of skepticism and surprise, looked like one I’d make reading a scientific study authored by someone I didn’t quite trust.
“A relationship built on respect and cooperation. One that will last as long as it’s convenient for both of us. That’s how most relationships work, even if people don’t admit it.”
She crossed her arms. “Some people, yes, but my parents have been married for over thirty years and have weathered a lot of ups and downs with each other.”
“That’s great,” I retorted. “My father abandoned his wife and two kids for one of his grad students when I was eleven. My mom married four more times after that, and every time she’s sure she’s found ‘the one’ only to end up abandoned. She’d save herself considerable expense and trouble if she accepted her relationships were temporary.”
Jenna’s face fell. “I’m sorry.”
“Thanks, but that’s not really necessary. I don’t get emotional over the past.” I couldn’t even remember the last time I cried.
We sat in silence for a moment. Thinking the conversation was over, I reached for my phone so I could finish my reading, but Jenna finally spoke. “Some people do stay together even when it’s inconvenient, though. I don’t think you can meaningfully generalize about every couple on the planet.”
“I didn’t say that,” I rebutted.
She pursed her lips but didn’t argue further.
Great; I’d already alienated my fake girlfriend. “It’s just a theory,” I admitted. One I was fairly sure I was right about.
Jenna sat up straighter. “Maybe you’ve never been in love! If you had, you might feel differently about it.”
“Maybe so. It’s possible I’m incapable of that kind of emotion; I’m not romantic.” My last girlfriend had ended our relationship in an email that described me as a robot.
“Didn’t you feel something for the woman you were going to bring on the cruise?” Jenna pressed.
“It only took a day or so for me to realize that I’d fallen victim to dopamine and oxytocin and given more meaning to a chemical response than the situation warranted. I’ve completely moved on.”
Jenna’s gaze fixed on the tray table in front of her. “If you say so.”
“What?” I pushed. “You think I’m still attached to her?”
“I didn’t say that.” She was repeating my words back to me. Touché.
Jenna’s silence persisted through take off and until we reached cruising altitude. “You can’t just let your bad experiences make you bitter. My last relationship ended horribly, and for a while, I felt a lot like you, questioning whether I could trust anyone.”
I pressed my lips together. She’d completely misunderstood my words. “Actually, I’m being very clear-headed about feelings other people find overwhelming.” I realized belatedly that hadn’t been a very caring response to her revelation. “But do go on.”
She toyed with the clasp fastening the tray table. “Two years ago, I met a first-year resident at the hospital I worked at. We seemed perfect for each other. I thought we would get married, and he made it seem like that’s what he wanted, too. Then I found out he had a wife and two kids.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. Finding out Cassidy and Davis were dating was nowhere near as traumatic as what Jenna had been through.
“I had no idea he was already married, or that he had any children,” Jenna continued. “His wife had stayed behind in Nevada with her parents so they could help her because one of their kids had cerebral palsy. I only found out he was married when we ran into his cousin outside a coffee shop.”
Even though I wasn’t particularly empathetic, it was impossible not to feel bad for her. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how painful that must have been.”
“Unfortunately, not all my coworkers believed that I didn’t know Westin was married, so there was a lot of gossip flying around. That’s why I moved to Philadelphia and got the job at Beaufort, and why I’ll never date another coworker.”
“That’s ridiculous!”
