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Me: The fact that you keep any “toy” at all at your grandma’s is disturbing.
Marius: Disturbing is all you get with me.
He can say that again.
Marius: Say yes. You know you want to.
Again, he’s giving me a choice; he’s not just turning up and demanding what he wants. I know he’s fully capable of that, but the one time he took my choice away was when he believed I wanted to harm him and his friends. I…really like that. He might not adhere to the regular rules society seems to follow, but he has his own code, that much is clear. Otherwise, he’d be here.
I don’t seem to mind the fact that he’s a monster, which shows that I’m just as sick as him.
The fact that I’m half hoping he’ll drive over, force his way in and tie me up with the spreader bar he just showed me, taking my choice away, illustrates that there’s something seriously wrong with me.
Just because I want him and all his perversions doesn’t mean giving in would be good for me. Although my body, primed by the stupid erotic fest I’m still watching, is desperate for me to give in, I stick to my first answer.
Me: Pass. Find yourself another Friday night toy.
Marius: I guess it’s just me and my hands. I’ll be thinking of you.
I’ll be thinking of you.How can those words be equal part sweet and positively filthy—considering I know what he’ll be doing when he’s thinking of me?
He’s likely lying anyway. Marius has no shortage of perfectly willing, gorgeous women throwing themselves at him, I’ve seen as much at any of Vi’s parties. Thinking of me, my ass.
I shut my phone off to remove the temptation to either reread the conversation, or worse, text again and tell him I’ve changed my mind. As the movie progressively gets filthier, I give up my attempt to ignore just how aroused I am, and slide my hand between my legs.
I haven’t really touched myself in ages. Years, to be exact. Not since I was caught doing it by Brandon, and he used the proof to demand I service him whenever he wanted. He weaponized my desires, so I’ve stifled and ignored them to avoid another instance like that. But I’m safe in Vi’s place, and completely alone.
And so horny.
Damn Marius for making it so much worse with his lewd proposition, and his sexy hand, and his goddamn sweatpants pic—not to mention that bar. It has four cuffs, for hands and knees. How would he use it? I can imagine many options. Then he could do as he pleases with me without demanding I voice my consent.
What kind of a person would I be if I told the man who literally drugged me, then dragged me off the street to a secluded location, tied me up, and whipped me that I wouldn’t mind fucking him the following week?
A fucking idiot, that’s what I’d be. And I’m not one of those. So if he wants me, he’s going to have to kidnap me again.
45
MARIUS
I’m fucking desperate.Desperate. I’m a hair away from driving over there and giving us both what we need, damn her to all hells.
And the thing is, I could. I really could push her boundaries, turn that “no” to a “hell yes” the moment I have her tied up and at my mercy, but then what?
She’d retreat again. She’s been avoiding me like I’m a leper all week, constantly changing her shifts to make sure she wouldn’t have to work nights.
If I take her without her say so again, she’d feel safe in the knowledge that I’m just a dick who feels entitled to her pussy, and shut me the fuck out like she’s dying to, like she’s trying to right this second.
It would be just fine if I thought, even for one moment, that all I want from her is a quick lay, one time. But as I beat my fucking cock within an inch of its life—and it is as painful as it sounds, but my body settles for nothing else—I’m not even imagining myself fucking her.
I see her on my bed, spread out, her legs and ankles overhead, keeping them far apart and counting the caning she damn well deserves. I see her on her knees, mouth wide open. I imagine her tied up, blindfolded, gagged. What I want from her is infinitely more intimate than sex.
Submission.Hersubmission, specifically, not a nameless, faceless chick’s.In fact, the only way I can even bring myself to think about another woman is in relation to her. Someone kissing Sarah’s lips around my cock. Scissoring her as I thrust between their slick pussies. Jesus, she’s driving me to madness and I’m enjoying the ride.
I’ve had her this way already, and that should be enough, but our first foray into dominance has only served to whet my appetite. And hers.
If I have to be patient, so be it. I’ll make her pay for every minute of this torture once I get my hands on her.
I’m just seconds from getting myself off when my stupid fucking phone rings. Dammit.
