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Part of me knows it’s a good thing she’s not here. I don’t want her to meet my father without giving her a warning and a hell of a pep talk, too. His mere presence is enough to murder one’s self-esteem, happiness, and probably puppies. It’s inevitable that they will meet, but today’s not a good idea. I’m still trying to get through to the girl. I’m not letting Eriks Goltz get in the way of that.
Butwhereis she? It’s just not like her, and my stomach drops in unease.
“Where’s the boobs?” Astor asks as we make our way to the locker rooms at the end. “Tired of you so soon?”
I frown. Duke Astor and I have an uneasy relationship, simply based on the fact that we’re equally fast. He’s ahead of me by one second today. Our last time, it was me on top. I don’t happen to care much—we both swim for the same team after all. His wins are mine, doubly so in the freestyle relay—but he takes the rivalry a lot more seriously than I am.
My guess is, as a middle child, I’m used to friendly competition. He’s the quintessential only child who doesn’t like to share anything—attention, toys, girls. His family is technically Heritage too, but I don’t see him sharing women, either. Not if he happens to care.
“Why do you ask?” I wonder.
He’s made no secret of his distaste for me. We don’t speak unless he can rub something in my face.
To my surprise, he doesn’t look victorious. He seems…awkward? “Saw her in the library earlier. She seemed stressed.”
How the hell would he know what Sarah looks like when she’s stressed?
“What?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. Not my pussy.”
He’s feigning indifference, but if he didn’t care, he would never have mentioned it to me. “Thanks, man. Good race out there.”
Astor wrinkles his nose. “You were distracted. Hardly a fair fight.”
“Do we have to fight?” I ask as we reach the shower.
Honestly, I couldn’t give a single fuck about beating him specifically. I swim to beat my own record, to push myself, to stay fit, and because it’s the one thing where I’m better than my brothers.
Maybe I’m in a competition, after all. Just not againsthim.
Astor shrugs. “What’s the point, otherwise?”
I decide there and then, we’ll have two kids. It sounds like just the one might end up lonely as fuck. I can’t imagine constantly competing with someone who gives no shits about it.
“Got it.”
I shower in record time to get the chlorine off my skin, and then I grab my phone, swiping through my apps until I find the one I need.
One month ago, I had Sarah’s phone in my hand, unlocked, and I remember staring down at it, confused as to why anyone would be trusting enough to not have a password.
I looked down at the girl screaming in the pool, and I don’t know why, but I immediately airdropped the app my father had us install on all our phones to track family and loved ones in case of emergency. At the time, I really had no idea what made me install it. God, I was dumb.
I’m not certain it’s still there—she could have found and deleted it—but it’s Sarah. The girl barely even checks her texts on this thing.
A few clicks and I see it’s still in her phone.
Her location’s not far, here on campus, still in the library unless I’m mistaken.
I get dressed and follow the locator. Once in the building, it gets tricky. There are several floors; I can see where she is, but not on which floor.
I get to the location on the ground floor, and find an empty seat in the cafe. On the second floor, there’s a row of books about the Civil War.
Rather than wasting time with every single floor, I decide to apply a little logic to my process and make my way to the top floor: she’s a science nerd. No reason for her to hang out with the poli-sci kids on the second floor or artists of the third—and certainly not the business up on the fourth.
I frown as I approach the closed door with a Keep Out sign. I try the door and find it unlocked. Inside, it’s all dark. What the hell? This is the kind of place where I would have stashed a fucking body.
I spot her almost immediately, on the floor, arms around her legs, head down between her knees. She lifts it, and I see her eyes are red, but dry, like she cried until she ran out of tears.
