Page 28 of Monster Mishap


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A green hand covers my face and blocks the view.

“Hey!” I was looking at that.

“Stop staring at his dick.”

The bond tightens, scolding me, and I try not to pout. Yeesh, I was only looking. It’s not every day I see a scaled dick.

“Don’t blame her, Orcus. Itisa nice cock.” This from the snake turned man.

Oh good. Even the snakes are humble.

“Someone get him something to wear,” Orcus snarls.

It’s then I realize the dining hall is silent again. Orcus is a natural born conversation killer. Who knew? After a few moments of rustling and banging around, Orcus moves his hand. My eyes immediately shoot to the snake-man’s crotch, but now he’s wearing trousers and a loose top.

“She’s curious for a folk. Has she never met a snake shifter before?”

“She,” I begin before Orcus can speak for me, “is capable of being addressed directly and no, she has never seen a snake shift into a human before. She has definitely never seen a scaled penis. I’m sorry for staring.”

The snake blinks at me; the slit of his pupils are surrounded by shockingly pretty yellow irises. If I were into snakes, he’d qualify as moderately attractive, but he doesn’t have the same brutish handsomeness that Orcus does. His member is smaller, but that might not be a bad thing with the scales. I’m not supposed to be thinking about either of their cocks.

“It’s all right,” the snake says.

“What do you want, Basil?” Orcus asks.

Basil slides his gaze to my surly mate. “Your father has been asking about you.”

“And?” Orcus stops the minotaur server and orders us food and ale.

“And water,please,” I add.

The minotaur gives me a curious once over then heads on their way. Most people have gone back to their conversations, but now they’re subdued and there are more than a few glances tossed in our direction.

“You have a responsibility,” Basil says once the minotaur is gone.

“No. He’ll have to deal with the furies himself.” Orcus waves his hands and dismisses Basil.

Red blotches Basil’s cheeks and yellow scales ripple over his arms. “You can’t shirk responsibility forever.”

Some monster off to the side gasps. Orcus goes preternaturally still. The bond lights up with a rage that comes from somewhere deep inside my ogre. My heart slams against my rib cage, and my hands shake, taking on some of his anger. Basil steps forward, either oblivious to the ire he’s provoked or stupid enough to test Orcus’ patience.

“You have a place at court, but you chose to abandon your station when you had an argument with the king.”

“You don’t know what you speak of,” Orcus growls.

My own hackles rise thanks to Orcus’ irritation.

Basil barks out a cruel laugh. “I know only a fool hides in a cave.”

Orcus’ begins to tremble. The snake is doing a damn good job of riling him. The urge to protect him slashes through me, and I’m up and out of his lap in the next second. I round the table before the ogre can grab me. Against all better judgment, I head toward the snake. Breathing in, I grab hold of that easily obtainable anger pouring out of Orcus and make it my own.

“Basil, was it?” I ask, stopping in front of him.

The snake blinks at me and his slitted pupil narrows. “This conversation doesn’t involve you, folk.”

“Oh my sweet summer child,” I say with a laugh. “I’m not a folk. I’ll tell you what I am though.” I take three steps forward.

He steps back, surprised by my advance, then scowls at me and returns to the spot. Our fronts are nearly touching. Orcus stands, my body attuned to his, but I don’t pay him any mind.

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