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I haven’t told anyone about the photos or what I did. I don’t think even Michael could pry that information out of me, so this calm, cherry-eating fuckface is definitely not getting it out of me.
I pinch the bridge of my nose at the name my mind has conjured for the college-appointed counselor.
Kaleb would be proud.
My heart squeezes. The deleted images aren’t the only thing I won’t be speaking of.
I stare blankly back at the counselor because I have nothing to say. They’d have to waterboard the details of last weekend out of me because I’m certainly not cracking when he tells me I’m safe.
“Okay.” He nods, sensing that today will go the same as our other sessions. “Just know that when you’re ready, I’m right here.” He ducks down to catch my eye.
I blink quickly at the sincerity in his blue eyes and give him a grateful nod. He’s just trying to do his job, and I appreciate that, but no one can help me right now, at least no one that’s here.
Satisfied, he gives me a small smile. “I’ll write you another note, but feel free to go to class if you feel like it.” He winks.
* * *
I stare up at the outside of the building. The campus feels different. Empty, like me.
My room is even worse. I hate coming back here every day. I step into the room and see Amy’s and Laura’s empty desks and stripped beds. Someone has been in here to empty their things while I was out skipping class. Like my best friends were never here.
Pain pierces my chest; my friends are gone, and that fact has never been more striking.
A sob wracks my whole body. I let my sorrow drag me to the ground, and I crumple where I stand.
I can’t stay here any longer. It’s only been three days, and I can’t take it much more. I need to go home.
I’m still crying when my mom answers my call.
“Hey, baby,” she says cheerfully down the line.
I can’t speak through my sobs.
“Charlie, oh baby. Please don’t cry.”
I try to calm myself and take comfort in the fact that I’m talking to my mom, but it’s not enough.
“What do you mean, she’s crying? Give me the phone. Let me speak to her.” I hear my grandmother demand over the line.
“Charlie, you there?” My mom must have given her the phone. “Press a button if you can hear me, sweetheart.”
I do as I’m told.
“Good girl,” she tells me. The words only serve to make me cry more. Everything that I did with Daniel seems so much worse now that I sit in the dorm room that I shared with Amy and Laura.
“Sweetheart, your mother is leaving right now. She’s going to come fetch you. I knew we shouldn’t have listened when you said you were okay.” I get lost in her words. I sit on the floor of my dorm and wait for my mom to come take me home.
Maybe there, I won’t feel the guilt so bad.
Maybe there, I won’t question why he hasn’t come for me.
Maybe there, I won’t miss him so much.
* * *
I wake slowly, the feeling of fingers combing through my hair pulls me into consciousness.
“I have to go to work, baby.”
