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My chest puffs up with pride. So she did see I was avoiding her? “You noticed my absence?”
Running her fingernail along a hairline crack, she pulls one pole to the side and barely glances at me, and yet I can tell I have her full attention. She is just pretending not to be affected by me. It is a feint, a fantastic strategy to lure in an opponent. Or it would be if her khui was not singing to mine so boldly.
Vivi rubs her chest, as if coming to the same realization, and frowns over at me. “Of course I noticed. I notice everything you do. We’re resonating. I was just waiting for you to come and talk to me in private.” Her gaze flicks to mine, accusing. “And you never did.”
Wait.
She wanted my attention?
I am stunned. How could I have misread her signals so badly? “I did not know, Vivi. I thought you wanted me to leave you alone.”
She gives up any pretense of selecting the poles and turns to face me. “How could you not know what I wanted, Skarr? I’ve told you over and over how much I like privacy. How much I hate it when you bring things up in front of everyone. Why would you think I’d want to talk to you in front of everyone? I left each time you came to the fire so wecouldtalk. So you could come tome.”
“I…I…” I trail off, speechless.
I am stunned. I pride myself on my cleverness, and yet I have missed this entirely. I thought she wished for me to leave her alone because I was not worthy of her attentions. That I should work hardertobecome worthy.
But we have clearly misunderstood each other and in doing so, I have wounded her. Made her think I did not care.
“Vivi,” I breathe. “Do not think that I avoided you because I wished to. It was agony to know you were close by and that I should stay away. It is just…” I dig my hands in my hair, frustrated. “I know how to please a crowd, yes? I know how to make the audience get on my side. And I know one of the biggest things is that when the crowd is turning against you, you lay low. You make yourself scarce until you can return with something that will impress them and bring them back to your side.”
She crosses her arms over her chest, her expression vulnerable.
“I do not know how to please a female, to pleaseyou. That much is obvious. So I have fallen back on my training. I have approached you—us—as if you were a tournament battle. I thought if, perhaps, I was not around, you would forget why you hated me until I returned—”
“I don’t hate you. Why does everyone think I hate you?”
I grin, hiding behind cocky words. “Because you do not swoon in my arms?”
Vivi rolls her eyes and gives me an annoyed look. “Remember what I said about everyone being in our business? This is why I hate it.”
I don’t point out that she ran away from me. It seems not wise to point that out in this moment. “Well, I am here now, and I have returned with something I wish to show you.” I reach out and take her hand in mine. “May I please show you?”
“You don’t have to bribe me. Just talk to me.” Her expression is soft now as she leans in toward me. “You and I probably have a lot of talking we need to do.”
“Talk. Yes. Talk is good.” I tug on her hand. “But may I show you first?”
“Show me what?”
I grin, delighted. I know she will love this. It will make her realize what a good mate I will be for her. I cannot wait to show her the new hut. “Come. I will lead you.”
ChapterTwenty-Three
VIVI
Skarr leads me down the beach, holding tightly to my hand as if he fears to let go. As if he’s afraid I’ll run away if he releases me.
While I think it’d be more productive for us to have a good, honest conversation, I let him tug me along. It’s clear whatever he wants to show me has a lot of meaning for him, so I can do this. After days of avoiding each other out of sheer misunderstanding, I’m just relieved we’re clearing the air, bit by bit.
I’ve been indignant and hurt that he hasn’t come after me and I’m the one at fault. He assumed I needed time alone. If he’d have asked anyone…they would have also told him to leave me alone. That I’d need time. It’s me that’s not communicating my needs. For all that he looks and acts very human sometimes, I forget that he doesn’t think like us.
When the crowd is turning against you, you lay low.
His words hurt my heart. I keep realizing that Skarr is just as alone as I am, and he’s handling it so much better than I am. He’s been nothing but enthusiastic about meeting me and being tied to me, and I’ve been a jerk. I’ve been wallowing in my own misery and I’ve made him feel worthless.
It’s not a good feeling.
So I squeeze his hand tightly and he flashes me another excited smile, one that makes me ache. He can’t wait to show me whatever this is, and I vow to myself that even if it’s a boatload of dead fish—because whoknowson this planet—I will exclaim and be excited and thrilled.
