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Initially I worried that the khui would mind-control me into wanting to pleasure her, but now I fear I am the one mind-controlling her. What if she does not truly want me? What if she is not telling the truth? It will destroy me. I must talk to her about it when I return. Confess that I’rec told me all about the khui taking over our minds and making us want to pleasure each other. She has been honest with me, so I must be honest with her, even if it will ruin our fragile truce. I hate the thought.
To think she was worried I would treat her like the human males treat females. I would never. Just thinking about it makes me angry. True, when I first arrived I thought of her as a prize to be won, but now I see her so much more clearly. She truly is my partner, and I cannot fathom not listening to her wise suggestions.
The female making dinner—Colleen—hands me two bowls and I give her a nod of thanks. Jason approaches the fire, talking to Sabrina.
I stick my foot out and trip him as I walk past.
He tumbles to the ground with a yelp. “Hey, what the fuck, man?”
“My mistake. I thought you were someone else,” I say, continuing on. That one was for Vivi and the other human females.
As I approach the new hut—Vivi’s hut—with the steaming bowls, I hear the sound of soft humming from inside. It’s Vivi, making happy noises as she moves around in her home. My heart aches with wanting her. Wantingus.
I do not want her gratitude, or her obligation. I want her to want me because I am fierce and strong and the best male for her.
Waiting outside the door of the hut, I clear my throat. “May I come in?”
She appears in the doorway, holding the flap aside. There’s a radiant smile on her face, and my khui sings even louder, even as my heart aches at the sight of her. “You don’t have to knock, Skarr. You made this place.”
“I made it for you, and I want you to feel as if you have a retreat. I do not mind knocking.”
Vivi waves a hand, dismissing my words. She takes one bowl from me and gestures at the interior of the hut. “I grabbed enough furs from storage for two beds. I hope that’s all right.”
Two…beds? “Why are there two?”
“I thought maybe you could sleep here, too.” Her voice is soft, her eyes full of anxiety. “I know it probably isn’t what you wanted, having two beds, but I don’t know that I’m ready for sharing one just yet.”
“You would share your hut with me?”
“Of course.” She holds her bowl up. “You’re sharing with me. And I did say I wanted us to get to know each other.”
This is more than I dreamed of. So much so that I fear it truly is mind-control. I must tell her about this. “Vivi, I am worried that this is not something you want.”
Her brows go up.
“I think I am somehow controlling your mind.”
She blinks up at me, absorbing my confession. “Is…is this a ssethri thing?”
“No. But I’rec warned me that after resonance, mates want to do anything to please the other. And everything that is happening is so perfect that I worry I am influencing you away from what you truly want.” I gaze down at her, trying to will her to push back a bit more. To hate me a little, because then I will know she is herself.
But Vivi just bites her lip, smiling up at me. “That’s not mind control. That’s just someone coming to care for you. I can assure you that I’m not being mind-controlled by the khui.”
“But how do you know?”
“Because I’m still not ready to have sex with you? If it was truly mind control, we’d have already been all over each other. Instead, we’re waiting.”
Perhaps I am the one being mind-controlled, then, because I desperately want to mate with Vivi, to feel the warm clasp of her body around mine. To touch her and drink in her scent. I do not share this aloud, though, because if I am being mind-controlled…I am fine with it. “If you are sure…”
“I’m sure.” She gestures at the two pallets of furs now opposite from each other by the fire pit. “Pick a spot and let’s eat.”
It’s dark inside the hut, the only light from the smoke hole above and the glow of our eyes. I can see fine in the dim light, but I remember that humans don’t have keen senses. “Should I make a fire?”
“I can do it. I thought we’d wait until after we ate, because of the whole fuel thing.”
Ah, very wise. “Let us eat, then.”
We share our meal in silence, eating from the borrowed bowls. When we’re done, I take them down to the water’s edge to clean them while Vivi starts a fire, and fill one of the bowls with sea water so she can rinse her hands. The weather is picking up, a bitter chill in the air, and I suspect tomorrow morning will be cold enough to make my fingers and toes ache. Perhaps it would be wiser for me to sleep in the big cave with the other males, tucked between baskets of storage and with the warmth of several bodies keeping the place warm, but I want to stay with Vivi.
