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Fuck.
No. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t—I wasn’t interested. She wasn’t my type. She was small and flimsy and too breakable for me. I fucking tore people apart. I couldn’t be expected to be careful with someone like Charlie. Being careful, being gentle; none of it was in my nature.
I was an animal. I killed. I decimated. I scalped and skinned and gutted. I was not someone who could keep a flower alive.
The only reason I was here was to help her with her stalker problem, to take care of him after his identity was revealed. She wanted me to kill for her, and that’s it. She didn’t want anything else from me.
And I didn’t want anything from her.
I didn’t think I’d ever wanted to believe something more badly.
Chapter Fourteen – Charlie
I was in daze as we got back to my car, and I was able to say nothing as I got in. Once Brett was inside, I started her up and we were on the road, driving back home. My hands on the wheel felt strange—clammy, almost. It was like the ghostly sensation of Brett’s hand around mine lingered, reminding me of what just happened.
I was shocked. Stunned. Flabbergasted and stupefied. Whatever word you wanted to use to describe me in that moment, it wasn’t enough.
Brett had kissed me in front of Zak to try to get him to believe we were together. As if coming over to us and holding onto me, holding me so close to him, wasn’t enough, he had to go and put on a show for Zak by kissing me so hard my head spun. Hell, by the end of that kiss, a part of me buzzed with the notion that we were together.
But we weren’t. We couldn’t be. We couldnever.
Brett didn’t say anything during the drive. He’d taken off his sunglasses and set them in one of the cup holders in the center console, and it looked like he kept flexing then relaxing his fists over and over, a cycle on repeat. I didn’t know what was going on in his head, nor could I see his face; it was turned toward the window.
This wasn’t how I thought tonight was going to go. Not at all. I’d thought… hell, I didn’t know what I thought would happen, but it certainly wasn’t that. Kissing Brett—the guy was nice to look at, but I had absolutely no interest in him.
I mean, the guy was a freaking serial killer. I wasn’t one of those girls who pulled up a blanket and made some popcorn every time a new serial killer documentary rolled out on Netflix. I didn’t obsess over them. I thought the things they could do, the crimes they committed, were horrible, and that they deserved to rot away as they spent the rest of their lives in prison.
I didn’t have a thing for serial killers. The only reason I didn’t turn Brett in was because he could help me, because he could do things I couldn’t do myself. I wasn’t a killer. I couldn’t… there was no possible way I could be strong enough to kill my stalker.
The line between right and wrong had never been more blurry. Everything was hazy, and I was well aware my thoughts ran in circles. I could never condone killing, but here I was, driving home with aserial killerin my car, having justkissedthat same serial killer, all because he’d pretended to be my boyfriend tonight to try to get mystalker, who I wanted him tomurder, out of the picture.
God. What the fuck was wrong with me?
We were about five minutes from my parents’ house when the mental haze cleared, and I was able to view it all through a clear lens. I got pissed. Furious. So unbelievably angry that Brett thought he could do what he did.
He could’ve pretended to be my friend. He could’ve come over and acted like a concerned friend instead of a possessive, smug boyfriend. And his snide, sarcastic comments… he thought he was hilarious, but he wasn’t. I hadn’t laughed at his stupid jokes once.
Let’s just say by the time I pulled into the driveway, I was fuming. I was slow in turning off the car and unbuckling my seatbelt, measured in turning my head to glare at Brett—but the jerk practically raced out of my car. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked around the side of the house, nothing but the moon’s light overhead revealing the way to the backyard.
So, that’s it, then? He wasn’t going to apologize for what he did? He wasn’t going to say a single freaking word to me now, after kissing me so hard he put me in a damned daze?
No. You know what? Fuck that. Fuck. That.
Brett was out of sight by the time I came to the realization that I wasn’t going to let him walk away from me and act like nothing had happened. No, he and I needed to talk. Apparently we had to set some ground rules, because I sure as hell didn’t want him kissing me and pretending to be my boyfriend.
Even if that kiss was the best kiss I’d ever had, but that was beside the point. No one needed to know that particular detail, especially not Brett.
I got out of the car, shutting the door as quietly as I could before going after him. I didn’t rush; I’d catch up to him sooner or later, and it wasn’t like I could yell at him while standing directly beside the house. No, we had to make it to the woods, at least, where there was no possible way my parents could wake up and overhear.
Once I rounded the side of the house, I saw Brett walking a good thirty, forty feet ahead. He walked a lot faster than me, and his long legs made me lose ground with every step. He had to have heard me following him, but he not once glanced at me over his shoulder or slow down.
Past the fence, to the woods he went, and I picked up my pace to reach him before he climbed up to the treehouse. The smell of old, dead leaves filled my nose the moment I crossed the threshold between the manicured part of the lawn and the overgrown forest. It was a smell I used to love, back when I was able to love things.
Once the joy of life had been stolen from you, you stop enjoying the little things. You become unable to love anything. That’s how it’d been for me, until Zak, and that’s probably why his betrayal had hit me so hard.
I was a broken soul masquerading as someone who was fine, and no one ever saw through the lie.
Brett stopped once he reached the ladder to the treehouse, but he didn’t turn around to face me. With his back to me, he demanded, “Is there a reason you’re following me right now, Charlie?”
