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I need to make myself vulnerable if I want him to truly believe in us, like I did the night before his brother jumped me.
“Listen, I saw my mother get murdered,” I say baldly. “That, combined with my prosopagnosia, has made me just atouchwary of trusting anyone, to put it lightly. But you, Leo…you’ve earned my trust over and over again.” I have to clear my throat before continuing. “I love you. And Itrustyou. I don’t want anyone else, and I never will. It’s you, Leo. You’re part of me now.”
My confession hangs in the air, and I feel almost unbearably exposed. I watch Leo carefully, searching for any sign that my words have reached him.
“You know,” he says at last, his voice softening, “trust isn’t something I just give away, either. Especially in our world. But the last few months have shown me who I can and can’t trust. I trustyou, Julian. And I fucking love you, too.”
Love. Trust. Acceptance.
I never thought I would ever experience this with another human being.
“So what I’m saying,” Leo goes on, his voice firm, “is that I’ve been thinking about those things. Loyalty, trust, what our future might look like.” He pauses, and I brace myself. “After everything that’s happened, I can’t go back to the Bernardi Family. AJ’s betrayal cut too deep—but I still need to make sure Gino and Roxy get out okay.”
It’s not easy to walk away from one’s own Family, especially when they’re all you’ve ever known. “You’re sure? You can’t…make it right with your brother?”
“Why in the hell would I want to make it right with that motherfucker?” he asks, baffled. “I plan to kill him, not crawl back to him.”
I grin. “Just checking we’re on the same page.”
“Those Bernardi assholes have a mountain of shit about to rain down on them,” he says fiercely. “Not just for what they did to me, but for Gino and Roxy, too. And your mother. But most of all, for what they did toyou.” He leans over and kisses me on the forehead, a benediction. “But I need to talk to you about another option Sandro offered.”
“Which is?” My curiosity is piqued.
“Leaving Los Angeles,” he says, watching my expression carefully. “Together.”
The word hangs there for a moment as I take it in. “Together?”
“Your brother suggested we could leave this life behind, you and me both. Start fresh somewhere else.”
The idea hits me like a ton of bricks, and I find it hard to breathe for a moment. “Is Sandro trying to get rid of me?” I demand, outraged.
Abandon the Castellani Family? The only world I’ve ever known? How could Sandro eventhinkI might consider something so heinous?
But then, I catch myself, that is exactly what I wanted Leo to do to his Family. Abandon them. Forme, his mortal enemy.
I cannot ask him to do something that I would not.
“He’s not trying to get rid of you,” Leo says patiently. “He didn’t like offering the option any more than you like hearing it. Whatever else you two are, you’re loyal to each other.”
I’m not convinced. “Sandro doesn’t love me, Leo. We may have blood ties, but—“
“Sandro threatened to throw me over his goddamn balcony if I hurt you,” Leo says. “Does that sound like a guy who doesn’t love his brother? The way you two feel about each other, it’s complicated, sure. But there’s love there, Julian. He wants you happy and he wants you safe.”
I look down, a little overwhelmed. To hear that Sandro has been looking out for me…has my back…it’s worth as much to me as Leo’s love. But can I really leave that behind? Abandon the city, the Family?
I look up at him. “I’m not like normal people, Leo. I don’t feel things the way they do. I don’t care about the things they care about. And sometimes my reactions are…off.”
“I know who you are,” he says, and there’s humor in his eyes—but also sincerity. “You think I’m an idiot? Fuck, no. I see you, and I love you for who you are. If we decide to leave Los Angeles, it’s because webothwant something different, not because Sandro wants us gone.”
I stare deep into his eyes, searching for any hint of doubt or fear. But all I find is love, unwavering and fierce.
The Bernardi Lion, free of all his fears.
The idea of leaving my Family pains me, but to lose Leo would be unbearable. “If you want to leave Los Angeles, I’ll go with you.” The resolve in my voice surprises even me. “You’ve become part of me, Leo. It would kill me if you left. And I will die to protect you, wherever we end up.”
Leo takes my hand in his, and the warmth of his skin against mine feels like a sacred promise. “I lied before,” he says. “Last time ever, I swear. But I already made my decision.” He smiles, pain in it again like there was downstairs in the grand salon, and then says, “I’m making my vows to the Castellanis.”
For a moment, I can’t speak. “Why?” I choke out, my voice barely above a whisper. “You know what that means. You’ll be an outcast, condemned for turning your back on your own Family. Is it—is it just to protect Gino and Roxy?” I ask, searching for some kind of explanation.
