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I nod. I’m still not sure why Ididshow him. No one knows what this space means to me. Certainly not Ciro, who gave me my mother’s ashes only after many years of faithful service, until I finally had something to hold over him that scared him enough to give them to me.
Sandro doesn’t know, either.
“I like to come here and walk through the trees sometimes,” I tell him as we wander away. “It’s far enough away from the house that I can feel really...alone.”
“You don’t feel alone up there? That huge fuckin’ place, and you all on your own?”
Leo’s hand is warm and firm in mine. “I’m never alone,” I tell him. “There are guards, watching me all the time…and the staff, of course. And outside, there are cameras. Microphones.” I point up one of the redwoods at the edge of the grove, and he follows my gesture to see a camouflaged camera set into the tree. “Sometimes I amuse myself by climbing up and removing the cameras. Like a game, you know. The guards constantly had to find new places to put them. These days I don’t see the point.”
“You got used to being watched?” His voice sounds hard.
“No. I just realized I could do whatever I wanted to do, anyway, and no one would stop me. If they wanted to watch—well, that was their business.”
The silence between us turns into something darker. I think I said something wrong, but I’m not sure what it is.
“I like to walk around the grounds on the full moon, too,” I go on at last. “My mother liked the full moon. She used to wake me up so I could see it. And I enjoy the way its light makes the world into a negative, a black and white image of reality. Do you like it here, Leo?” I finish abruptly, as we mount the patio steps again that lead back into the kitchen.
“It’s the eighth wonder of the fuckin’ world,” he says with a short laugh. “But I don’t know that Ilikeit.”
“What do you mean?” I stop him and make him face me. “Anyone would love to live here. How could younotlike it?”
He slides a hand into my hair, cupping my ear, my head, and pulls me in for a kiss. It’s fierce and hungry, and when I wind up against him, I feel the heat of his body against mine.
I want him, and I want him now. “Leo,” I gasp, when he breaks off the kiss. “I think you must feel better now.”
He looks down into my eyes, but I can’t read his expression. “Thank you for showing me around,” he says. “I feel like I understand you more.”
But he doesn’t sound like he thinks that’s agoodthing. “If things go south with your father,” I say, “you can stay here. With me.”
He smiles, but it seems like a sad smile. “I can’t do that, Castellani,” he says gently. “It’s a nice fantasy, maybe, but that’s…that’s not in the cards for us. You see that, right?”
I don’t see it. I don’twantto see it, either. But before I can protest, his hand moves to my face, his thumb stroking over my rough cheek. I haven’t shaved yet today. Leo has made me forget all propriety.
“We’re a flash of lightning,” he murmurs. “Bright and dazzling and over in a few seconds. Nothing but noise after it. That’s you and me. So we should enjoy it while we can, but we can’t make out like it’ll ever be more than that.”
I pull away from him. “I don’t see why that should be the case.”
His mouth turns down, and his eyebrows—dark, thick, straight, tiny mole over the center of the right brow—pull together. “Because I’m the fucking Bernardi Enforcer, and you’re Don Castellani’s little brother. That’s why. It’s no mystery, Julian. We got a day or two, maybe, to make some memories. After that, we’re done.”
I’m about to protest when Leo looks sharply to the right and drops his hand from my face. I glance over to see Roxanne Rochford at the kitchen window, sipping a cup of tea, watching us with unabashed interest.
Leo pulls away with a whispered, “Shit.” He turns his back to the window. “And when she’s around, we probably want to cool it.”
I stare back at Roxy for a moment, then ask, “Why?”
“Why?” His jaw clenches. “Why the fuck do you think? Because I’m not, you know.Out.”
“Out?” I repeat, bewildered.
“I don’t like my Family to know about my sex life,” he hisses between clenched teeth, and then he stalks off to re-enter the house via the grand salon instead of the kitchen, leaving me behind.
I look back at Roxy, who raises an eyebrow at me before taking another sip of her tea.
I give an exaggerated shrug and a rueful smile.He’s shy, I mouth, before I stroll after Leo.
Honestly, what a fusspot.
CHAPTER38
