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Not physically.
When I enter the house, I find Max and Jack in the kitchen. Laughing together like old pals, and it just makes me angrier.
“Bricker!” Max looks so happy to see me, Iknowit must be an act.
“So when were you gonna tell me, Pedretti?” I ask.
Max’s smile vanishes. He knows exactly what I mean, and that just makes it worse. Some part of me was so sure he wouldn’t, that my father was lying about the whole damn thing, that Max would be confused—then horrified—deny it angrily—
But it’s all true. I know it now. I see a glimmer of remorse in his eyes—but also wariness.
It’s the look of a man with secrets.
CHAPTER38
MAX
The day’sgone so well up until now. I should have expected the other shoe to drop.
I was in such a good mood this morning, feeling optimistic about the progress Bricker and I were making in our investigation, confident that Jack would be able to help. I even went out this morning to buy groceries, laughing at myself for “playing house” with Bricker, but I enjoyed the feeling nonetheless.
When he went to see Van, I sat myself down and had a hard think, weighing up the pros and cons of obeying Anna-Vittoria’s orders versus my discomfort at holding back such a huge secret from a man I’ve grown to care for.
It’s not in my nature to be disloyal. And in this case, my decision was always going to be disloyal to one of them, the Maestra or Bricker. But when I thought about it that way, it was a simple decision.
I’d choose Bricker any day of the week.
My mind made up, I felt better. I’d sit Bricker down that very night and explain it to him—and we’d work through the fallout together. When Jack arrived in the afternoon to pick up the fingerprint samples, and filled me in on the rapidly upcoming Bernardi parley at Redwood Manor, I won’t deny it made me feel a little homesick—and concerned as hell. But until Bricker and I pinned this traitor, I was set on my course. So I told Jack I was looking forward to getting back to Redwood Manor, as soon as he could tell me about the fingerprints.
“Well, damn, Pedretti,” Jack had said wryly. “If it means you’ll be back at Redwood, I can have those results for you in a nanosecond...though I can’t guarantee they’ll actually be correct.”
We’d been laughing at that when Bricker walked in. But my good mood died as soon as I looked into Bricker’s stormy eyes.
“Jack,” I say now, “you’d better give us the room.”
Jack settles his hat on his head and slips past Bricker with one backward, meaningful glance at me. I have backup if I need it.
I don’t need it. Certainly don’t deserve it.
I owe Bricker this truth and I should’ve given it to him sooner.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bricker asks again after the front door closes with a quick click. His hands are tight, clenching fists, and I see fury in his eyes—but also confusion and hurt. “You knew my father. Worked with him. You’re the reason he’s in Chino right now.”
Earlier today, I felt almost young again. Right now, I feel every year of my age, tired and used-up. “I wanted to tell you,” I sigh, rubbing my face with one hand. “But Anna-Vittoria wouldn’t let me.”
Bricker scoffs. “She wouldn’t let you talk to the Castellanis, either, but you tried anyway.” He steps closer, anger radiating off him like heat. “Didn’t seem to worry you too much, either.”
I wince at his words. He’s right, of course. But somehow, this particular secret about Fabi felt different. It was much more dangerous and much more personal. And now it’s come to light.
How?
Well, that’s not really the point.
“Bricker,” I say, searching for the right words, “it was complicated. Anna-Vittoria swore me to silence. Said it wouldn’t help matters any, and that she wanted you to trust me, not be suspicious of me. Later, I wanted to tell you—but I also wanted toprotectyou. I didn’t want our...whatever this is between us, to be tainted by my past.”
His eyes narrows, and I see the struggle in them. The desire to believe me, to trust me, warring with betrayal. And there are no easy answers, no simple explanations that will make this all go away.
“Please.” I take a step towards him. “I—I care about you, Bricker.”
