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“Which part did you screw up?”
“In not trusting all of you to be my friends.” When I watched everyone’s faces in the light of the fire, there was nothing but understanding, and it buoyed me for the next few things I had to say. “In thinking I needed to prove something to my parents by working all the time. In telling Silas to leave.”
“I think it’s fully in your power to fix all of that,” Lily said softly.
“But how?” I asked, looking around at the women who’d stood by my side. I hadn’t truly considered them friends until now.
Harper shoved a glass of champagne into my hand, and I downed it in one gulp. “It’ll come to you just like your brilliant business ideas.”
“I brought chairs,” Lily said, opening the back of her VW van and pulling out a bunch of camping chairs. We sat around the fire, sipping the champagne.
“I’m sorry I haven’t trusted you with everything going on in the business. I thought on some level that women were in competition with each other. It was stupid and shortsighted,” I said to everyone.
“Especially when we can support each other,” Ireland chided.
“That’s what I always told you, but I didn’t practice it myself. I kept my vision of the business to myself and drafted those awful rules, thinking I could control everything.”
“We want to be there for you,” Ireland said.
I chewed my lip, and when Harper nodded, I opened my mouth to share what I’d been hiding from everyone. “I decided to start a course for other wedding planners, and I’m writing a book about my experiences as a business owner and wedding planner. I have no idea if anything will come of it, but I have a good feeling. I’ve never written anything so fast before.”
Lily reached over to touch my arm. “That’s amazing.”
“I think people will love that,” Abby gushed.
Listening to everyone ask questions and talk about it made me think it was a good thing. That something amazing would come from it.
“I searched online and didn’t find anything like it. There’s nothing tailored to wedding planners,” Harper said.
“Most people selling digital courses pair it with a nonfiction book, so hopefully, I’m on the right track. But I’ve enjoyed the process of getting everything down on paper. I realized I have so much to share, and I hope it helps someone.”
“I think you’re going to encourage a lot of people who are afraid to take that risk, to take that first step and start their business,” Abby said.
Hope filled my heart. “I’d love to share your stories too. Would you be willing to talk about your experiences?”
“I’d love to help. My flower shop wasn’t successful on its own. I struggled to make a profit until I got creative and started a subscription service and renovated my barn to host weddings on my farm. It was a dream come true for me, but it took some time to figure things out,” Lily said.
“I was afraid to expand my photography business and to hire any help because I was worried I’d overextend myself. I wasn’t just supporting myself, but Hunter too,” Abby added.
We went around the circle, and everyone shared their struggles in business. It was so nice to hear that we shared similar experiences.
“Your stories are so inspiring,” I said to them, excited to include their experiences too. I wondered if my business book could expand to all female business owners and then the course could be centered on wedding planners.
Abby pulled out a bag of marshmallows, and we scrounged for sticks to roast them. We drank more of the champagne Harper brought, laughing and having a good time.
I was happy to finally have been part of this friend group. For so long, I set myself apart from everyone. But there was still something missing. Whenever I thought about Silas, my heart sank, and my stomach twisted.
I knew I should talk to him, but I was afraid it was too late. That when I told him to leave, it signaled the end for us. But then, I’d never been in a relationship where my heart was at stake. I’d never been this invested before, and I wasn’t sure how to move on.
“I have something to share with you guys,” Ireland said, the firelight dancing across her face.
Everyone got quiet, sensing she was about to tell us something important.
She held up her hand, and it took me a few seconds to realize she was showing off the large diamond on her ring finger. Her boyfriend, James, must have proposed. They’d met on an online dating app and realized they’d grown up in the same social circles but had never met. Lily squealed and lunged at her for a hug.
There was a flurry of congratulations and hugs. When it was my turn to hug Ireland, I felt a sense of loss. If I was more open with my feelings, would I be in a good place with Silas? Was I shutting down the possibility of a future with us?
When the group quieted again, Abby asked, “You’ve only been dating a short time. Was it love at first sight?”
