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But I trusted myself less.
Whatever temptation I felt for the sensual woman needed to be bled from me. I would not let her see she had any power over me. I decided not to go to the brig and find out for sure who she was, no matter how badly I wanted to.
All night I fought against a current, not daring to drink since my inhibitions would crumble. She stirred up old feelings, memories I tried to forget. Guilt and remorse I buried deep.
Lying here, my cock throbbing, I was absolutely repulsed by myself. I tried to go to sleep, ignore the temptation below me.
When my door squeaked open, I was certain it was her. Her magic skated over my skin, twitching my cock with excitement. My mind skimmed back to her thin, muscular legs, her thighs barely hidden under her tank, her hard nipples exposing themselves under the fabric. Her stunning face and eyes, and the hair my fingers twitched to thread through.
My response pumped anger through me. I was sickened by my indecent thoughts. No matter what she had grown up to look like, at one time, Kat was a twelve-year-old I thought of as a niece. A young brat, full of vigor and gumption.
You’re a sick fuck, Croygen.
Aware of every move she made toward me, of the heat coming off her, I ground my teeth together.
When she reached for Rotty’s blade, she erased all doubt about who she was. She recognized her father’s weapon.
The little kitty had come for retribution.
Because I slept with my door unlocked, I always kept a weapon under my pillow.
She swung the knife for my throat. When the blade touched my jugular, I whipped out my gun, cocking it and pressing it to her forehead.
“Not so fast…Katze.” I looked into her yellow irises; the vivid green rings around the black pupils widened in shock at her pet name. It was what Rotty called her. “Do you really want to do this? Drop the gun.” I nodded to her other hand, swallowing against the blade as it cut into me, surging adrenaline through me. Which only hardened my cock, making it almost unbearable.
Her breath stilled in her lungs. “Ho-how?”
“You think I didn’t know who you were?” I fudged the truth a little, acting like I had been one step ahead of her the whole time. “Katrina Roth.”
She inhaled sharply, her expression shifting from disbelief to anger.
“Good. Now you know why you are dying tonight.” Her voice was low, the vibration rubbing over me like it was her entire body while she pushed the knife in more firmly.
“I don’t think you’ll do it.”
“You want to challenge me, pirate?”
“I prefer to go by tradesman now.”
She blinked at me with confusion, hitching a grin to the side of my mouth. “I can pull this trigger before you could even break my skin.” I pressed the gun harder to her head. “Drop your weapons and let me get up, or drop the gun, keep the knife, and climb into bed with me. Your choice.” The last statement came out of my mouth without thought, and my body stiffened as I tried to act like I didn’t just say that to her. What the hell was I thinking? She was a little girl when I last laid eyes on her.
Her nose twitched, her throat bobbing, and for a second, she seemed to consider the options.
“You think you can talk to me like all your other common whores?” she hissed. “That I don’t know exactly whoyouare?”
A strange, uncomfortable sensation tightened my gut, the judgment of my past flowing over me.
My nose flared. Pushing against the blade as it cut shallowly into my neck, I sat up, lowering the gun in my hand, my lids narrowing on her. “You got it wrong, Kitty-Kat.” She stumbled back as I rose to my feet, my naked body towering over her petite frame. Faster than she was expecting, I yanked the gun out of her hand, tossing it across my bed where she couldn’t reach it. “They weren’t the whores…” I leaned closer to her face, the blood from the knife trickling down my neck. Her eyes widened as I stopped barely an inch from her mouth. “I was.”
I never slept with actual prostitutes. Not that I had anything against their profession, but I didn’t see the purpose. I had hundreds and hundreds of wealthy women of all ages, races, and influence begging me to be in their bed. I was the one who profited, stealing or receiving huge donations, which made me the whore. And I had been fine with it for a long time. It was who I was, my signature, my moniker. I had no guilt, no shame, and I still had manners.
Then I lost everything, going down a dark path where I met a woman with even fewer morals than I did. I fell for her hard, loving that she had no scruples and wasn’t bowing at my feet. We were Bonnie and Clyde before they even existed, stealing, running dirty deals, always onto bigger and better payouts. Until I realized her having no ethics meant her feelings for me were also on that list. Amara had me on a tight leash for years, giving me enough to keep me holding on while she was in a relationship with another man.
I was thankful she was out of my life, but I still hadn’t forgiven myself for allowing her to take so much of it. For making me hate who I’d become.
Then Lexie came into my life. Beautiful, fierce, and loving. Like Kat, I had seen her grow from a kid to an adult. And for one brief moment, I thought I could find peace again.
When she was brutally killed in front of me, any hope or light I had left disappeared.
