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My ears twitched as a figure moved up the stairs, his familiar scent reaching my nose. Killian could always find me anywhere.

“It’s time, Kill.” I stared at the sea as he stepped in next to me. “I can feel it.”

“I hate him too, Kat. I’m disgusted I still have his mark on my chest.” He patted at the spot. Croygen had those who declared their loyalty to him tattooed. It was a feeling of pride to the crew; it meant you were part of the family. I had been jealous when I was younger that I wasn’t part of the group. “You know I want to destroy him, but Croygen won’t be easy to take down. He’s been off the radar for a long time. What makes you think you can find him?”

“Because.” I turned to look at my best friend. “Hewillfind me.” Killian’s eyes tracked mine, dropping to my mouth for a beat. “I will become the most notorious pirate.” I glanced back at the sea, trying to ignore what I knew Killian wanted, what he had wanted since we were children. “His ego will bring him out of hiding. He won’t be able to stand another one claiming his title.”

“Piracy is not what it used to be, not like when we were kids.” He faced out to the sea, nudging his shoulder into mine. “I don’t want you to be disappointed, Kitty-Kat.”

“Ugh.” I groaned. “For a kid who used to fight for survival in the streets, you’ve become soft.” I rolled my eyes. “What happened toKillian? The boy who used to be so fearless.”

“I saw what was truly out there.” Killian turned toward me. “You didn’t. I was the one in actual battles, where I witnessed men shit and piss themselves before Captain cut off their heads while you were learning how to read and write and wear fancy dresses.”

“You think I wanted to be?” I whirled back on him. “I had to! I was forced to leave the ship. My home. I ran away from the school six times before I got expelled.”

“And it was better you did,” Killian snapped. “You don’t want to know what it takes. I lived through the fall of piracy, when they were putting our heads on stakes and hunting us down like animals. Hanging and torturing us. I watched everyone die on our ship that day… whereyour fathergot murdered by his supposed friend. Croygen put your own father’s dagger through his heart. I saw him do it.” He swallowed hard. “You live in a fantasy, Kat, where you’re sailing around the world like it’s a fucking cruise. It’s not like when we were kids!” His eyes flashed brighter, letting me see the real power behind them. “You weren’t there when we got scurvy or syphilis. At sea for months when no breeze came in. Stop believing you’re going to live some fairy tale out there!”

“I’m not!” My voice sounded more like a yowl. “I know what it takes. And I am willing to give anything to avenge my father. I will live forever with the guilt of never getting to see him again. Never saying goodbye. Croygen took that from me. He took everything, including you. I will not stop until I find him. He will pay for what he did.”

“You’re obsessed with revenge on Croygen.” Killian grabbed my wrists, pulling me closer to him. “What about what’s right in front of you?”

“What are you talking about?” I swallowed.

His head tilted, his gaze burrowing into me. “You know what I’m talking about. You aren’t that dense.”

I sucked in. “Kill…”

“Fuck, Kat, I’ve been in love with you since we were kids!” His arms went out. “That’s not a secret. And we could have everything if you opened your eyes for a moment. If you gaveusa chance. We could have all you ever dreamed of. A home, a family, love. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

“Wh-what?” My mouth parted, not ready for him to say the words out loud, though I already knew how he felt about me.

He pulled a small object out of his pocket. My attention landing on a familiar jade stone in his palm, he had gotten me when we were kids. I had left it behind when I departed, probably thinking I would be coming back.

“Remember when I got this for you? Gods we were so young. But even then, I knew.” He smiled fondly at the small trinket. “I’ve been carrying this with me forever now. Waiting until the right moment to give back to you.” He squared his shoulders, his violet eyes setting on me. “Kitty-Kat…” He tugged me closer. “You are the first girl I have ever loved… you are theonlygirl I will love.”

“Kill—”

He cut me off, his hand cupping the back of my head, pulling me to him. His mouth came down on mine, his soft lips devouring, parting my lips with his tongue.

My brain went into shock.

This is my buddy, my best friend… kissing me.

There were moments I imagined us together, but something always stopped me. He was family to me, something I held far more sacred than a lover. Those were easy to throw away.

His mouth moved hungrily, and for a moment, I let myself believe we could be more. That I could give up my revenge to find peace and happiness with Killian. That I could love him.

But my heart knew I couldn’t, not the way he wanted.

“Killian.” I pushed away, shaking. “Stop.”

His frame stiffened, his head jerking back.

“You are my best friend. A brother to me.”

“A brother…” His jaw crunched down, his nose flaring, his fist curling around the gem in his hand.

“Feelings only mess everything up. You know that. That’s why the crew never crosses the line.” It was one of my rules, unless they came in a mated couple like Polly and Dobbs.

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