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“Opium trade.” His throat bobbed, his gaze going down. I saw Ty and Cane moving around in my peripheral, sniffing and investigating every square inch. “Back in a very dark time, late eighteen hundreds, I got really heavy into trafficking it.” He shifted on his feet. I felt the torment worming through him. “It’s one of my only regrets.”
“Why?” I asked because I sensed far more to the story than just getting into the drug trade.
“Because my daughter, Rez, ended up being one of the many victims of it. She was sex trafficked. Drugged, raped, and beaten in the club by a very sick man, by keeping her high and dependent. So out of her mind, she didn’t care about anything except her next hit. Who knows, I might have been the one who helped the drug get to that club.”
He hadn’t talked about Rez much on our journey, but I could feel his love for her, the guilt he bore not being there for her.
“They would’ve gotten it no matter what.”
“I know.” His lips thinned. “Doesn’t make it any easier.”
“Captain?” Ty stepped back into the main room, Cane beside him, turning us to them. “All clear.”
“Thank you.” I stepped away from Croygen, peering at the three men. My head still tried to compute all that happened today.
“We all need to talk.” I took one of the chairs at the table, my legs about ready to collapse on me. “I know this will be hard, but can you tell me what happened after you were captured?”
Cane’s hands rolled up, a vein in his arm popping.
“Not in detail,” Ty spoke strongly. “But Batara’s torture was thorough—asphyxiation, electric shocks, beatings, mock executions…” He drifted off, seeing Cane stir on his feet. “The whole time he used you as the reason, the blame for our suffering, had us repeat it on a loop. And slowly, I spotted Gage accepting it. Zuri fought it longer, but after Moses was killed, she cracked too. Anything to stop the pain. It went from telling Batara what he wanted to hear to them starting to believe it. The more you agreed with him, the better things would be. Food, freedoms, a bed, a shower.”
“The reward and punishment system.” Croygen dipped his head up and down in understanding.
“Except the punishment wasn’t necessarily on us if we did wrong.” Ty glanced over at Cane, coming back to me. “Moses was killed because Zuri tried to fight back.”
“What?”
“I think Batara suspected she was at a breaking point.” Ty gulped. “Moses was murdered the next morning. And she was forced to watch every second of it.”
I bowed over my legs, wanting to throw up. I knew awful stuff was happening, but to hear about it was different.
What Zuri must have gone through psychologically… The pain and grief so deep it had to be pointed at someone else. Her heart, soul, and mind broke all at once, her hurt twisting and morphing into something she could handle. And all she saw was I was the cause of it.
“Fuck.” I stood up, tears sliding down my face, feeling the pain I caused all of them, the weight of my actions. One slipup, one wrong decision, changed everything that night.
Good and bad.
I never regretted that it had brought Croygen into my life, yet it didn’t take away the regret, the guilt, over letting my crew down. Of getting half of them killed.
“Hey.” Croygen tugged me to him, though I didn’t want to be comforted. I didn’t deserve it. “Kat.”
“No.” I pushed him away.
“Listen to me.” He grabbed me again, and I felt his soul wrapping around me, easing my grief.
“No!” I thrashed against him, a sob working up. “I don’t want you to make it better.”
Warning growls sunk into the air, my two guardians stepping toward Croygen, their teeth growing into canines they bared at him.
“She said to back off,” Cane muttered in a threat, their natural response to protect me.
“And I’m telling you to fuck off.” Croygen faced the twins, his shoulders rolling back.
“And I’m telling you to get your hands off her.” Ty puffed up his chest, his snout and teeth morphing.
“O-kay. Whoa!” I jumped between them. “Stop.”
“Tell your pooches here—”
