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Anesthetized and disoriented, I literally froze up. And instead of swimming, I started to sink into the icy waters. Croygen had jumped in and saved me, pushed me up to where my father could reach down and pull me up.
The two men I adored more than life, had put on a pedestal, were now the ones pulling me under. Drowning me.
Shock once again stilled my body, my brain not comprehending the story he had just told.
My father had betrayed Croygen? Had he turned against his own captain, the crew, forsaken our home? For me?
“No.” My head started to negate what he had said. “No. I don’t believe you.” Swallowing, I looked at Croygen, wanting it to be a lie.Needingit to be a lie.
Yet I felt the truth flow from him. That last barrier he had kept up now tumbled down, pouring in a flood of his emotions. The connection between us slammed into me like a wave, breaking me across the rocks.
“No…” My voice splintered, turning away, anger cracking through. “No! My father would never do that!”
“You are a fucking liar,” Killian seethed, moving toward Croygen with fury, gripping his shirt. Killian had always been very smooth in fighting, a regalness in his form as if he was always destined to be a lord, but I saw it even more now. Killian the pirate was becoming the fae lord.
Croygen’s bloody lip lifted, not flinching as Killian rammed him against the wall. Croygen smirked; his demeanor sang the song of authority, even if he was the one in chains. He didn’t respond, dismissing Killian when his gaze came to mine.
The wave hit again, the deep pain and agony, the truth of the past, barren to see. And I felt it all. Raw and brutally real.
“No.” Tears escaped my eyes, the last refusal barely making it off my lips as my body slumped back into the wall, a sob hiccupping up my throat. It was almost like I could see the event play out in Croygen’s mind, taste the sea, hear the gunfire. See my father’s dying figure on the deck.
“He never got my letters?” Though I had never told my father I had left school and was on the streets, I had begged him to come get me. I used to stand out on the port docks, waiting for the ship to come over the horizon, to see the familiar Jolly Roger flapping in the wind, ready to bring me home.
I had always thought my pleas fell on deaf ears.
He never knew. Though that didn’t supersede what he did.
Mutiny happened a lot back in the day. It was upfront, an outright challenge to the captain. It was done with some kind of honor and forthrightness.
Though it never happened on our ship. Croygen was ruthless to others, but fair and democratic to his crew. And to the men on that ship, the worst, most abhorrent thing you could do was backstab and betray him.
What my father did, even if he thought he had to for me, was the gravest of sins. He relinquished our home, our family. Master Yukimura and so many others died that night because of my father. Croygen and Killian might have been killed as well. And he did it all because of me.
Guilt and awareness punched me in the stomach. A noise howled through my bones, sinking me down the wall, my legs no longer able to hold me. Everything I believed, everything I thought, felt upside down and twisted.
“You don’t believe him, do you?” Killian stepped toward me, motioning back to Croygen.
My eyes lifted to Croygen, his dark eyes staring back into mine. For once, he wasn’t guarded; he let me feel, let me see. My lids squeezed together, pushing out fat tears.
“Kat.” Killian moved to me, crouching down. His hand gripped my chin up to look at him. “He’s a liar. A thief. A killer.” He cupped my face, his thumb sliding over my cheek.
“He’s not.”
“Yes, he is.” Killian moved closer, his brow furrowing. “He can’t be trusted. I know what I saw. Your father wouldn’t have ever betrayed us. Ever. Deep down, you know the truth.” I did. But it wasn’t the truth he wanted it to be. “He’s lying to make himself look better.”
I tried to turn my head, emotion raining down on me, but Killian’s hand curved me back to him. He stared down at me, his eyes once again resembling the boy I knew in the man before me. They were as violent as the sea, but I knew it was because he cared so much. Gazing up at him, more tears spilled down my face. I had missed him so much. More than I ever let myself feel. The ache was deep in my heart, like a missing piece of me was gone. Killian had been such a huge part of my life. My best friend.
“Have I ever lied to you?”
No. He hadn’t, not intentionally, anyway. But Killian wanted Croygen to be the villain. He wanted me to hate him, tainting everything he said and did.
“Kitty-Kat,” Killian spoke softly, intimately, drawing my face closer to his. I recognized it in his eyes. The want. The hope I would finally see him. Want to be his lover. “I’ve missed you.” His mouth grazed mine. A low growl filled the cell, magic sparking against my skin, sensing Croygen coiling around me. “Stay with me.”
“What?” I leaned back.
“All this.” He nodded above. “I did it all for you.”
Dread sank into my gut like lead. “Kill—”
