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“Honey,” Katherine said, watching my car lift off the asphalt, “your Mercury is in retrograde or something.”
I frowned as the tow truck winched my sad sedan onto its flatbed. My shoulders slumped forward in defeat. “What do you meanmyMercury? Everyone has the same Mercury.”
“Uh, uh,” she stuck a lollipop in her mouth, shaking her head. “Yours is on a different plane of reality. It’s messing with your chi.”
“You’re mixing up metaphysical concepts, now,” I muttered.
Katherine leaned her plump hip against the hood of her compact car. “You get your own category.”
We watched in silence as my deader than dead car rode the dolly up the incline of the tow flatbed. My inner June screamed in tune with the metal-on-metal screech the flatbed made as it leveled out and finally came to a stop. Katherine had offered to take me to my car, and even though we had filled it with gas from a red gas can, it had started and then immediately smoked before bursting into actual flames. I knew what the car was worth. It was totaled.
My bottom lip wobbled. Katherine looked over at me, and with an indulgent sigh, pushed herself off her car and put her arm around me, wrapping most of my torso in her black, lacy shawl. The pungent aroma of roses and lavender plumed around me. “Aw, come on. It… it was kind of an ugly car.”
“I just paid it off,” I whimpered.
“Yeah,” she patted my arm. “That’s unfortunate.”
I swallowed a lump of tears, cursing my rotten luck. “I think this might be karma.”
“Now who’s mixing metaphysical concepts?” Katherine teased, sticking her sucker back in her mouth. “But why? Did you sleep with your head facing north?”
“No, but I sleptwithsomeone,” I moaned. “I gave away my virginity and now God is punishing me. My mom was right. God saw medoing thingsand now he’s going to bankrupt me.”
Katherine tucked her chin down and popped the lollipop out of her lips as she gave me a dubious look. “I don’t think God punishes people with bankruptcy.”
“How do you know?” I squinted as tears stung my eyes, mingling with the dust and pollen that had coated everything in Idaho’s sweaty armpit. “It’s 2023. Maybe a bottomed-out credit score is the new locust plague.”
“Maybe you should take a drink of water or something,” Katherine suggested.
I sniffled again.
“Who did you sleep with, anyway? There wasn’t anyone up there.” She paused, and I let her fill in a couple of blanks. “Oh my fucking God.”
“I mean, he was god-like,” I mused.
Katherine pulled away from me, her features accusatory. She pointed her lollipop at me. “You slept with Amos Brady.”
“Yousaid we had chemistry,” I pointed out. “But yeah, I think the whole rescue bit did it. He made a really hot knight in shining… athletic wear. And don’t worry, I didn’t mention the whole ‘V-word’ inexperience, so he was justfunabout it. It was awesome.”
She nibbled on the corner of her lip, suddenly uncertain.
I frowned. “What’s that look? I mean, I know he’s my boss, technically, but it’s nothing serious.”
“Well, maybe not, but,” she looked around, her heavily-lined eyes blinking hard like she was looking for an apparition to appear and scare us both. “You did lie to him.”
“What do you mean?”
Katherine used a long, acrylic nail to delicately scratch the side of her nose. She had a diamond nose ring that sparkled in the bright noon sun. “You know. The virgin thing?”
“Of course I lied to him,” I scoffed. “If I’d told him, he would have been all ‘oh, no, I have to protect her delicate flower’ or whatever, and he wouldn’t have done half the sexy shit we did.”
“Right,” she agreed slowly, cautiously. “But don’t you thinkheshould have been allowed to decide if that was okay, too? What if he finds out?”
“He won’t,” I said with confidence I didn’t feel.
“All I’m saying is he might not be very happy with you if he does find out.”
“And?” I prompted.
