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“Yeah… he was my first.”
“Hooooooly shit,” she drawled. “June,your first guy wasAmos Brady?”
I shushed her, looking around the deserted lobby again. “He doesn’t know. I didn’t want him to like… coddle me or something. I knew he’d be all dark and broody and it wassogood.”
She brought a hand to her mouth. “You didn’t tell him?” she squeaked.
“That’s why I’m trying to bang a dent in the desk with my forehead,” I admitted. “I need to tell him. I thought it was no big deal, but the more I think about it…”
“You can’t start a relationship with a lie,” Maxine said seriously. “Especially not with guys like Brady. I don’t think his DNA will let him lie.”
I made a pained face. “So, you think I messed up, too?”
She scrunched one side of her nose like she always did when she was thinking. “I mean, it’s your virginity and all but… yeah. I’d still tell him.”
I sighed heavily. “I don’t want to.”
“Don’t blame you,” she replied honestly. “Glad it’s not me.”
I suddenly wondered if my first time with him might have beenbetterand not worse if I’d told him. And once the idea took hold, it wouldn’t let go. I blinked, staring off into space as the truth of that smacked me between the eyes. He probably would have been extra patient with me. And I wouldn’t have had to rush anything.
Maxine watched me think with her eyes bouncing all over my features. “What?”
I swallowed against a dry throat. “I, uh… this might be TMI.”
She waved a hand. “No, it’s not. You have to talk to someone about these things, right?” She mimicked sealing her lips and throwing away the key. “I won’t say a word.”
I released another breath and pushed away from the desk with my feet, letting my chair roll and turn slowly. I stared at my new sandals, which crisscrossed over the red weals from my previous (now banished) pair. “So, I’m not sure I had a typical orgasm. I mean I had one, and the actualsexwas so fun. But I got in my head at the end, and it was kind of hard to get there. I had to force it.”
Maxine shook her head, flicking a piece of lint off her navy blazer. “Tension orgasm. I get it.”
I stopped the chair’s momentum and planted my feet. “That’s exactly what it was.”
“Happens,” she shrugged. “I mean you had one, right?”
“True,” I said slowly. “It did feel different than my normal ones I’ve had on my own.”
“Well, yeah,” she laughed. “It’s going to. No worries. Practice makes perfect,” she grinned.
I gusted out a laugh. “Yeah. That would be nice.”
“Hey, upside is,” she said, “if you tell him, then he can show you all the stuff he knowsandbe patient with you at the same time. Although,” she screwed up her face dubiously, “I can’t really imagine Dr. Brady being patient about anything.”
“He’s patient,” I said, still thinking. “I don’t know, Maxie. On the one hand, I get your point. On the other hand, what if it makes it awkward? I don’t need him to show me anything. I’ve read romance novels. I get the gist.”
Maxine snorted. “Don’t let him hear you say that.”
“True,” I muttered, looking around one last time. “He’s going to be insufferable about this whole thing. I can feel it. He’s going to freak out over getting handed my V-card, and I won’t even have a good excuse for him.”
Maxine winced, standing. “Good luck?”
“Thanks.”
She bumped my chair with her hip before leaving. “You got this, babe.”
“You better not put this on Instagram,” I called after her. She waved without making any promises. I slumped in my chair and spun myself again, hoping the centrifugal force would squeeze a solution into my brain. It was all well and good to decide I needed to tell Amos, but it was another thing entirely to figure outhowwithout fully pissing him off.
Earlier, when he’d taken me back to his office, I’d nearly fainted from shock at how gentle he was. Angry, towering Amos was starting to look more like protective bouncer Brady. If he was on my side, then I had a big, scary shadow that could make me feel safe.
