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It was still early, the sun not quite all the way up. I rolled down my window, enjoying the crisp air on my cheeks, erasing the rough night and bumpy morning. Brandt turned on the radio, and a haunting male voice filled the car. It was perfect and I closed my eyes, soaking in a moment of peace.
Brandt reached over and interlaced his hand with mine, not taking his eyes off the road, as if this was the most natural thing to do with us. Our friendship was fast, our connection intense, and it was the most comforting feeling in the world. I didn't know what my memories held for me, but for now, all I wanted to do was be here. Right here with Brandt, in this car. I closed my eyes again and listened to the words projecting from the speakers.
Life aligns like stars. There's gaps of empty spaces. Hidden are the scars…
History repeats. But so does change. Does fear retreat or is it delayed?
Now are we chasing time…
I fell today to my darkest place and all that saved me were these paper wings.
"This song…"
He looked over at me. "It speaks to you."
"Yes, it does," I said, half in this world and half in another.
A few minutes later, we pulled into a zoo parking lot. "A zoo?" I snickered.
"Yes. A zoo. Is that okay?"
"It's perfect." I gleamed.
He grabbed my hand as we walked up to purchase tickets. "Are you feeling adventurous today?" He pointed to the zip lining advertisement.
"Sure, I'm game." I was nervous since I had recently rediscovered my fear of heights.
"Are you sure? We can do something else."
"No, I want to do this. This is my second chance. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I want to be someone else or, at least, a better version of my old self."
"You're amazing. You know that?"
I wasn’t so sure about that, but I liked hearing it. He not only bought tickets for zip lining but also for the rope climb and a caravan around the park. "I guess we'll be closing the park down.” I chuckled.
"Yep." He threw his arm around my shoulders and led me to our first safari.
"Oh, wait. I have a doctor's appointment at four today."
"We have plenty of time."
The day had been exactly what I needed. I conquered the zip line and the rope climb with only a little trepidation. We had lunch before the ride around the park, which ended up being a private tour because the park was so quiet today. Brandt kept me close to his side the entire time. I liked how he protected me. I liked how he felt and smelled and looked. I liked everything about this man, so then why couldn't I just let go and give myself a pass? If I really loved this other man in the gaps of memories in my mind, then wouldn't I know?
"Are you okay?"
I twirled my hair, deep in thought, as we walked around the zoo. "I'm nervous what the doctor is going to tell me. What if there are other things wrong with me? What if my brain is broken?"
He started laughing. "Sorry. I know this isn't funny, but I can assure you, your brain is fine. It just needs time to heal. You need time. And more doses of me." He winked.
I laughed. He had done it again. He made me smile at my worst. "Lots more doses of you." I gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "There aren't enough thank yous in the world."
He pulled me in closer and squeezed me tightly. "No, thank you, Freckles. You were just what the doctor ordered."
We had to rush out of the park after the tour to make my appointment on time. As soon as we pulled out of the parking lot of the zoo, my stomach tightened again. The drive to my appointment was not going to be nearly as peaceful as it was going to the zoo. My foot tapped nervously, and at the rate of twirling I was doing, my hair would be completely curled by the time we got to the doctor’s office.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"That obvious, huh?"
