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"I think I'm just going to go surfing," he responded flatly.
I looked at Brandt who just shrugged. Typical. "Do you care if I go? There's this book I've been wanting to finish."
"Sure, whatever," Grady mumbled in the back seat.
"I'll be back in a sec," I said as I jumped out of the car. I ran into the house and yelled for Tessa. I found her lying on her bed. "So, what's the deal?"
"I told him about the miscarriage," she confessed point-blank.
"Oh. He isn't taking it very well."
"No, he's not."
"But you guys are still together?"
"For now. I probably should've broken it off, but he was so crushed already I couldn't do it, and then he started talking about trying again after we got married. He was so comforting, and all I could think about was how excited I was to leave. That's messed up, right? Am I horrible person?"
I scooted next to her. "No, Tess. It makes you human. You're not even twenty-one yet. You shouldn't be thinking about babies and marriage. You are off to your dream college and just beginning to figure out who you are and what you really want. That doesn't make you horrible, but you need to talk to him, and soon. Stringing him along isn't right."
"I know. I will."
I got up to leave. "Are you cool with me hanging with him today? He looks like he could use a friend."
"Yeah. Actually, I think that's a good idea. Thanks, Bay."
"Sure." I hated that everything was so negative lately. I just wanted everything back to normal. I ran into my room, grabbed a jacket, a blanket, and my book.
IT WAS Anice day at the beach. We went to Surfer's Strand off Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu. The beach was quiet with just a few girlfriends strewn about while their boyfriends tried to catch waves. Unfortunately for them, the water was calm, but Grady stayed out there all the same. I tried to read my book, but I couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened over the last few days and all the changes to come in just a little over a week.
I wasn't a stranger to this beach. In fact, I had bought real estate, metaphorically speaking, where my butt was currently planted, because I had sat here so many times. I loved watching the boys surf, even if it was early in the morning. Tessa was not a morning person, so she rarely got to see the serenity the sunrises had to offer over the ocean, but she came for the later surfing sessions. Her absence today was a pretty strong message, so I knew letting Grady go alone was not even an option.
Grady and I had developed a unique bond over the past four years. I still wouldn't claim to know Grady well because he was extremely guarded, but I was hoping that would change now that we were going to be family. I was already like a sister he never had. Whenever he and Tessa fought, he would talk it out with me. He and Brandt were close, but when it came to his emotions, Grady usually picked me over his brother. I'm sure it helped that I was the closest thing to Tessa. He loved the hell out of that girl, and I knew he would lay his life down for her, so it was hard for me to see Tessa give that up. Nevertheless, your heart wants what it wants, and it can't be forced, and my sister was never one to conform or compromise.
I saw Grady paddling in, finally. He had been out there for at least an hour. He was probably dying for water. As he walked up the beach with his surfboard under his arm, I threw him his water bottle.
"Thanks, B." He guzzled down half the bottle.
"Crap day, huh?"
"Yep." He shoved his board into the sand so it stood up and then he plopped down next to me. "How's your book?"
It was lying upside down, open to the only page I had been reading for pretty much the whole hour he was out there. "Good," I lied. We watched the water for a minute in silence.
"Did you know?" He played with the blanket.
I picked at the blanket uncomfortably. "I just found out last night."
"Man, I just can't believe she didn't tell me. That's the hardest part, you know? That she didn't trust me."
"First of all, I don't think it had anything to do with trust. She didn't tell me, either. I had no idea she was pregnant or anything. I just don't think she wanted to deal with it, and telling people makes it that much more real."
"So, what if she didn't have a miscarriage? We would have noticed eventually." He was having a hard time masking his anger.
I couldn't respond because I hated lying to him and I knew she wouldn’t have kept the baby. He read my silence.
"She wasn't going to keep the baby, was she, B?"
He finally made eye contact with me. His eyes were filling with tears.
