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I could feel the color drain from my face. I must have misheard her.
“Char, are you okay?” Genesis picked up Midnight and put her on the floor and scooted in next to me. “What’s wrong?”
Her voice had muffled and my eyes darted around the blurry room, half-panicked.
“Char, you’re scaring me.”
"I just…need a…moment.” I sucked in shallow breaths, closing my eyes and concentrating on slowing my breathing. The ringing in my ears started to dissipate and when I opened my eyes again and tried to focus on Genesis, my vision began to sharpen, once again.
“Did you just have a panic attack?” She asked worried.
“I’m fine. It happens sometimes. I’m fine now,” I repeated.
The worry on Genesis’ face did not fade though. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I waved her off. “No, I just get that way sometimes when I hear Bridger’s name.” I was only partially lying. The truth was that hearing Levi knew Bridger was not only unexpected, but unnerving. “How did that even come up?”
“Oh, well, I was going to my car to grab my sweater and he was standing in front of his trailer stripping out of his wetsuit and, of course, you know me, I had to introduce myself.”
As she animatedly told me the story, my insides exploded with a mixture of jealousy and confusion.
“And then after I showed him the picture of Bridger, he mentioned meeting him. He called it a weird coincidence, but you know I don’t believe in those.” She jumped up off the couch and started to pace excitedly. “It’s fate, Char. You were destined to meet Levi right here, right now.”
Shame immediately washed over me remembering the nights I had already spent with Levi.
She spun back to me and froze and then leaned over toward me, studying my face. “Oh my God! You’ve already met him, haven’t you?” She clasped her hands over her mouth. “You’ve more than met him!” she shouted excitedly.
“Gen, take it down a notch or ten.” I rubbed my temples. There was too much information going in and out right now and it was stressing me out.
She sat back down on the couch quickly with her hands squeezed between her knees. “I’m sorry. That was a lot. It’s none of my business.” She turned her head to me slowly and placed her hand on my knee. “But, Char, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Bridger has been gone for two years, and the Bridger I knew would never have wanted you to be alone for the rest of your life.”
I choked on my breath as tears threatened to resurface. “I know.” I paused. “It’s just so hard without him.” My head dropped and tears found their way out. “I miss him so much.”
Genesis scooted closer and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me in tight, just like she had when my mom died.
“I cried for years after Jayden died. I wished so many times I was in that car with him so I could have died alongside him just so I didn’t have to feel the kind of pain I was feeling anymore.” Her voice broke. “I never thought I would fall in love again. And it turns out I was right. I fell in love with many.” She chuckled.
I let out a short laugh and wiped my tears.
“All kidding aside, I never did find Jayden 2.0, because I was never meant to. There will never be another Jayden, just like there will never be another Bridger, but that doesn’t mean there will never be another love as equally amazing. You were meant for one at a time; I was meant for many at a time.”
We both laughed this time.
“Thanks, Gen. I think the timing is just off for me. I’m here to remember Bridger and all of our times together. It just feels like I’m tainting that by exploring things with Levi.”
She rested her head on mine. “I know it may seem that way, but what if Bridger sent Levi to you? What if this is what he wants for you?”
Genesis had always been a deeply spiritual person. She believed in the afterlife and fate and all the stars align stuff, but I could never get myself there, but sometimes it was hard for me to explain the unexplainable without the supernatural. Maybe this time she was right. Just the possibility made my heart feel a little lighter.
“I missed you, Gen.”
“I missed you, too, Char.”
We pulled away and wiped our wet faces dry.
“Gen?”
“Yeah?”
