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No, I won’t ‘mate’ with him unless it feels right. But damn.
If he’s telling the truth.
If magic is real…
I mean… I reallydowant powers. To cast spells…
“LeviOOOsa not LevioSAAW,” I mutter under my breath as I cuddle deeper into my soft blankets.
Chapter Eight
Sunder
Well into the darkness of the night, I lay awake in my hotel bed. Leaving her apartment had taken every ounce of discipline I had. She’s sleeping there alone and unprotected. Her and that stupid cat. A growl thundered low in my throat.
The stupid cat is a Shard. The Third, if I’m not mistaken. I can’t quite place its name, but I am confident that I will figure it out shortly. Currently, my mind lingers on her. Is she okay? Is she harmed?
Is she thinking of me?
No, I don’t want to think about that anymore. I’ve raged enough.
Once again, I go over that moment at the end of the night. Something stirred inside of me. The bond almost snapped. I feel it just beneath the surface when we talk. Why didn’t she want to mate tonight? It’s probably the effect of the Third. I’ll wait a few days before suggesting it again.
There’s no use lying around. I won’t be sleeping soon. I dress for a chilly night, leaving the hotel behind. Walking down the city street, only a handful of cars drive by me. I can’t see the stars, but the icy wind clears my mind. I close my eyes, picturing the untamed wind ripping across the vast fields of Valenfall.
Mira. I like how it rolls over my tongue as I whisper her name to myself. She’s nothing like I expected. Nothing like I hoped. Yet my heart remembers the feeling of love between us in the dream. The shared warmth and acceptance.
She’ll betray ya too. No different from the others.
The wind presses against my body, kissing my ears with soft, quick licks. I inhale deeply, missing the smells of home. It’s been too long since I’ve seen Valenfall. Mira and the other Shards are my means of getting it back. My resolve strengthens. I’ll do what I must for my people.
The dream that led me to Mira clouds my judgment. I don’t have the luxury of getting lost in some fantasy about fated mates and healed souls. She’s just another distraction. Once we’re bonded, I’ll need to part ways with her. I can’t have her clouding my mind. This is too important.
The idea of leaving her rips something inside of me. But why? I have no feelings for the woman. The constant arousal-driven desire to be in her presence is my body’s evolutionary way of trying to influence a bond. Still, she drives me crazy. Her scent lingers on my skin.
Too many emotions. My world was gray before. Muted and dull. Now it’s overwhelmingly bright. Vibrant colors, sounds, smells. My heart pounds in my chest, threatening to split it open.
Sitting on a park bench in the darkness, I let the wind carry my enraging thoughts away. How can she be my fated mate? She’s a soft, weak human. She’s no warrior or leader.
“Do you relish torturing me?” I whisper to the sky, where the Gods rest on the banks of the Great River of Souls. My head sinks low into my hands. What will happen to my shattered soul when I finally meet my end?
This isn’t what I thought finding my fated mate would be like. As a youngling, I imagined the bond between us would be instant. She would be a beautiful warrior of noble fae heritage, or an iron-willed shifter, or a powerful sorceress in her own right.
It never occurred to me that my mate might be someone so ordinary. Even among humans, I was hopeful that she was someone of import. No, she’s very much ordinary. And worse, an ordinary human who doesn’t even want to mate with me. Rubbing my hands down my face, I breathe out a heavy sigh.
Petulant. That’s what I’ve become. A child crying because the sword I’d been gifted has the wrong pommel.
How do others deal with disappointing mates? Surely, I’m not the only one. Or is it only because my soul is fragmented? Maybe that’s why I can’t muster any emotions for her. I’m merely a shadow of her true fated mate, Dan’thiel.
Standing, my body urges me back to her apartment.
A torrent of contradicting emotions fester in my mind. I don’t even recognize myself. What is this woman doing to me? Questioning the fate of my soul? Chastising myself for disappointment towards my human mate? Tortured by the thought of leaving a pretty girl behind?
It would be better for both of us. She’s not interested in fighting. Once bonded, what would her death do to me? How would it distract me from my goals? But she’s a necessary distraction for now.
And my newest weakness.
How do I balance keeping her far enough away to not completely distract me but get close enough for the mating bond to snap into place?
