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Chapter Seventeen
Mira
I have to tell Sunder about Bobble.
Before long I’m racing to dress. Struggling to think. I shove my legs into some jeans, keeping the shirt I wore to bed on.
Bursting through the door, Bobble at my heels, I spot Sunder calmly tending a low fire. His head pops up, startled, and he’s on his feet, taking a defensive stance, scanning the doorway behind me.
“What?” The urgency in his voice only amplifies my excitement.
Sprinting to him, I grab his shoulders with both hands, hopping up and down just to release the energy building in my body.
“Bobble! He’s a Shard. I had a Dreamshare. He’s another one of my mates!“
Sunder’s mouth opens slightly, eyes darting to Bobble. He’s still, thinking and considering. The energy drains from me as it dawns on me.
I’m such an idiot.
“You knew,” I say, jerking away like his touch stung my hands. He knew and didn’t tell me. I take another step back, followed by another. Sunder’s eyes move quickly, searching for something to say.
Liar.
“Mira,” he says, reaching towards me. I take two steps back. He pauses, waiting.
“You’re a fucking liar.“
“Technically, I did not lie. I simply omitted the Third’s existence.”
Gaslighting man child. My face turns beet red as my boiling rage flows out of my ears. I can practically feel the steam bellowing around me. That’s the same stupid line Tim used when I discovered his affair. Immediately, I want to scream and cry. Beat his chest and make him hurt.
“You knew it was important. That I’d want to know. But you chose to keep it from me. You’re a manipulative asshole. Is everything you told me a lie? Your suffering people and usurping brother? What’s real? Is anything you said true?“
I can barely see what’s in front of me, the anger overwhelming all my senses. Sunder raises his hands, as if surrendering.
“Mira, listen. I-”
“No, you listen. I don’t want to look at your fucking face or your stupid long hair. You look like a fucking joke, by the way. I should have never fucking talked to you. I wish you’d been hit by a bus on the street that day.”
Seething, I storm back into the house with Bobble, not wanting to hear his excuses. I plop onto the sofa as my tears finally escape. It feels like my heart is being ripped out, a fresh new wound on top of the old scars. Why am I crying? Sunder is nothing to me.
Then why do I feel so betrayed? With every falling tear, the anger seeps free. My shoulders fall further with every passing moment. It feels just like what Tim would have done. I’m sure Sunder will turn this into my fault by saying something ridiculous like ‘you didn’t ask’.
Bobble hops into my lap, rubbing his furry head softly against my hand. I lean over, kissing him lightly. Petting him calms me again, letting the tears dry.
“I’ll be the envy of every crazy cat lady,” I whisper softly against his fur. His purrs pick up, as if responding to my attempt at humor. How many little signs have I missed? How many times has he laughed with me or cried with me? All while trapped in that body, unable to truly interact with me. Waiting in the wings, watching life happen around him in forced silence. My tears pick up again, but this time they fall for Bobble.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell him. His head knocks into my chin, rubbing against me, pushing my head up.
A soft knock taps against the thin wooden door. I sigh, calling for Sunder to come in. His eyes flick to Bobble as I hunch over him with red eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” The heat in my voice is gone, but my eyes hatefully glare as he sits on the sofa next to me, crossing his ankle over his knee casually. The sinking feeling in my gut reinforces how stupid I am. Why do I just keep believing people at face value?
“You were struggling to accept just me. Do you still think you’re in a coma?”
“No, I’ve accepted that this is my reality. But I can’t handle being lied to, and I especially don’t like being told purposeful omission isn’t lying.”
Whatever I thought might develop between us is done. Maybe we can work together, but looking into his face, all I see is Tim. Nausea rolls across me as yesterday flashes in my mind. His hands were on me, and I liked it. Never again.
