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As the miles start to roll away, I lean my head against the window. My heart aches as I think of all that I’m giving up, and for the umpteenth time, I wonder if I’m making the right decision.
Bobble, freed from his carrier, climbs into my lap. His solid weight reassures me, and I swear I can feel the genuine love flow from him into me.
Eventually, my sadness fades. My eyes open as I watch the landscape slowly shift, the city fading away to long stretches of Southern pines and tree cover.
I’m still sad.
But some of the sadness has been replaced by something else…
Interest.
I’m jittery with excitement despite the melancholy that sits heavy on my heart.
My mind quickly flits between impactful moments of the last few years. Finding the friendly, fatherly figure I’d always needed in Jasper. Finding those texts on Tim’s phone. Finally accepting that he didn’t love or respect me. Gaining the courage to leave him. The subsequent rock bottom. Lisa and the love her friendship lent me in the darkest times.
And now you betray her by lying to her, not even giving her the respect of honesty. You’re no better than Sunder.
My stomach clenches. I’m on a rollercoaster of emotion here, and any of my excitement is quickly drowned by guilt.
Air blasts me in the face, and I look over at Sunder, where he’s rolled down the window.
“Really?” I snip.
“You looked like you needed a breath of fresh air,” he smirks.
“Ha,” I say. I roll the window back up. I can feel him looking over at me, but I do my best to ignore him.
If he wants to know how I’m feeling, he’ll ask.
“Mira. Are you truly ready?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I reply with a sigh. “I’m ready.”
I desperately try to ignore the twisting in my heart as we continue to drive into the changing landscape. I can’t stand lying to Lisa, but I know she wouldn’t understand.
After several hours, it’s clear that Lisa and everyone I know is long gone from my mirror. I decide only to look forward from here on out. Bobble slips into a peaceful sleep in his usual spot on my lap.
I keep peeking over at Sunder, trying to read his expression. He’s distant and unreadable, like his thoughts are several worlds away.
“I will not ask him how he is.
I will not ask him.
I…
“Sunder. Why are you sad?”
Sunder perks up a little and glances at me, as if just noticing I’m in the car with him. My anger over the incident at work subsided pretty quickly, considering.
I was glad to have the extra time to manage the logistics of leaving without having to worry about work, but I would die before I admitted that to him.
“Yeah. Fine.”
Ok, new tactic.
“So tell me about the portal we’re going to. Is it like a swirling black hole of doom, and the magic ripples in the air around it so much so that the hair on your arm stands up?”
Sunder sighs, giving me a pointed look.
