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Her eyes twinkle with a hint of teasing, but there’s a brick in my chest. I can’t speak for fear those terrible words will fly out of me again.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, brow pulling tight.
I let myself deflate inside her, waiting for something. Anything at all. As the seconds pass, the tightness in my chest grows. I shake my head dismissively, realization dawning.
“So… uhm…,” she stammers. “What happens next?”
“I don’t know. Something should have happened by now.” Ice crisps my voice. Too hard and rough. I suppress my grimace as I slide out of her. My seed spills on the ground beneath us as I kneel between her legs, watching it slowly leak from her delicious lips. My cock stirs again at the sight.
“Do you feel anything?”
I drop my head in my hands, letting the disappointment grow and twist inside me.
“Gods Damn it!” I roar, the eruption causing Mira to scramble back. I dress quickly, needing to be away from here before I say things I know I’ll regret. I toss her clothes to her haphazardly.
If she doesn’t cover up, I’ll be feasting on her in seconds.
“Sunder, wait. Maybe we did it wrong somehow. We can try again. I think… I think I might,..” she rubs her chest, the movement making her luscious breasts bounce.
Gods, I want to make them bounce again.
You love her. Go to her. Make love to your mate. Bond her.
I’m enraged at my reaction to her. I cannot love. I cannot love anyone. Not after what’s happened.
Not until I am whole again.
I turn on her, snapping like a vicious dog. This time the words on my lips are not ones of love, but lies and rage.
And I do nothing to stop them, like the pathetic worm I am.
“If you had not waited so long, maybe we could have figured this out before we got here. Now we’re in danger, and there’s no time to experiment with it. Damn it, Mira! Why did you wait so long?”
“But-”
“Get dressed. I’ll be back,” I hiss. I stomp forward, trying to find something, anything to do as I stalk away.
As I walk out of sight, soft padding steps tell me the Third is already swooping in to comfort her. I stop in my tracks, the angry bluster that’s raging in my heart dissipating with the sound of her soft, sniffling sobs.
My heart twisted again as I take another step towards her. I need to apologize. Why did I yell at her? Blame her for something we both knew was possible. Another step.
The half-whispered words linger in the back of my mind.I loveyou. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to hear me when I sickeningly blurted out part of that outrageous statement.
I love you.
Icannotlove. I am not complete enough to love.
I pace back and forth between the trees.
Madness takes me. Her soft sobs yank me closer.
I should go back.
I can’t.
I pause, smoothing my shirt before decidedly moving far enough away from her so that the sounds of her pain can no longer be heard.
My hands find my hair, pulling as I scream into the vacant forest.
