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Even in the basement, they could hear the noises of the storm crashing around them. The rain pelted the roof while the wind pushed the rocky supports and foundation back and forth. If April hadn’t known better, she probably would have said that everything would be fine.
But she’d seen the support beams that needed fixing. What else could have been wrong? And what would the storm easily take with it?
April paced the small concrete basement. Georgia sat in a corner, a towel in her lap as she tried to dry herself off. Caroline used another towel to scrunch out her hair, as if she was only worried about perfecting it. “Are you going to pace the floor the entire time?” she said to April with raised brows.
“Even in this moment, you can’t do anything but criticize me, can you?” April snapped back. It was about time they sorted this out. What better time than when they were all stuck together in the basement of the house?
Her mom held up her hands, as if surrendering. “I didn’t mean to criticize. I was just asking so I can prepare for how the rest of this is going to go. Because if you keep pacing, I’m going to get irritable. And we’ll all need to deal with that.”
April raised her arms. “Nothing I do is going to be right. I can’t do anything without you holding something over my head. You want me to do what you want me to do, and if I don’t there are consequences.”
Caroline crossed her arms in front of her. “I didn’t know you felt that way about me.”
She couldn’t take it anymore. April let out an exasperated sigh. “This is what I’m talking about. You put so much pressure on me to be who you want me to be. Have you ever thought about what I wanted?”
“You’re one to talk,” Georgia muttered under her breath. She looked up at her mom in shock, wide-eyed. April guessed it was supposed to be quiet enough for only her to hear it. “It’s just that you put pressure on me by not being there. You want me to be successful, but then no one is there to help me. You wanted me to go to college, so I went. And I don’t know if I want to go back.”
April noticed Caroline looking on, but she wasn’t disappointed anymore. Was it sadness that plagued her now? She could swear she saw regret in her mother’s eyes. There were more important things.
“I’m sorry. I should have been there for you,” April explains. “I was so caught up in trying to do the right thing and never saying no to people. I didn’t realize what I was really doing was saying no to you because I was helping everyone else. I should have been there.”
Georgia nodded. “Wow. I wasn’t expecting you to realize that. I’m supposed to be the edgy teen, running away and yelling. I’ve been waiting for weeks for you to break and you never did. You really didn’t bring me here to force me back to school?”
April looked over at her mother, sitting in the corner looking guilty. “No. I didn’t bring you here to drag you back to school. I want you to do whatever you want to do. I’ve been trying really hard to be more supportive. I should’ve realized earlier that you deserved more from me. You’ve always deserved more from me. I should’ve given that to you.”
“And the lie? Not telling me about the divorce?” Georgia asked.
“Well.” April swallowed hard. “I promised myself that I wouldn’t put you in the middle. I felt like my parents talked badly about each other and pushed me into the middle of their messy divorce. I didn’t want the same to happen to you.”
April looked over at Caroline, who wore her shame with reddened cheeks and a downturned head.
“I can see why you would do that,” Georgia said. “Thank you for keeping me out of it.”
It was Georgia who smiled first, then April. April walked over to her daughter and sat between the two on the floor. Georgia’s head fell onto April’s shoulder. She kissed the top of her head just like she did in the rain.
Just as April closed her eyes to take it all in, she heard a sniffle. As she opened her eyes, there was another one. For a moment, she wondered if Georgia was crying, but she realized it was from her other side.
Caroline was struggling to keep in her tears, but April was smarter than that. She’d seen her mother on the brink of sobs like this before. She was upset about something. “Mom?”
She looked over at April, tears brimming just over the edge of her eyes until they slowly cascaded down her cheeks. “I’m sorry, honey. I just wanted you to be independent. I wanted you to be the best version of yourself you could be. And I pushed that on you.”
For the first time, April saw things from her mother’s perspective. After what she went through with her father, she should have seen it sooner. They’d both gone through messy divorces. Out of anyone, April should have known how it felt to be left on the whim of a chaotic man. Of course, circuses were nothing compared to younger women.
But still, the shock of being left for something ‘better’ hurt just the same.
After something like that, they both wanted something better for their children. The perfect life for someone they loved. April wanted better for Georgia, independence, and the ability to make her own decisions like she couldn’t. Caroline wanted better for April, a man who would treat her well and a successful career that would sustain her.
“Mom, I never thought you would see that. I just wanted to make my own decisions. And now I feel like I’m finally discovering who I truly am.” April finally felt like she could be honest. She spoke to her mom from her heart without lashing out or not being honest about her feelings.
Caroline nodded, swiping away a last tear that fell onto her cheek. “I understand. I should’ve been kinder to you. And to you,” she said, motioning towards Georgia. “I wasn’t easy on your mom or you. I’m sorry.”
It was the first time she’d heard her mom utter those words and really, truly mean it. There were a lot of firsts in that basement while the hurricane surged above them.
Georgia stared at her mother and grandmother. “Can you both promise that you’ll focus more on yourselves and what you want for you instead of what you want for everyone else?”
April and Caroline looked at each other, smiled and nodded. Caroline pulled her daughter into a side hug. April let herself lean on her mother’s shoulder. Georgia joined in by leaning on April’s arm. They sat there and listened to each other’s breaths.
“Mom,” Georgia whispered to April as they held each other close. “I know that the divorce isn’t my fault. Everything you said made sense. I was just so mad. It felt like you guys were putting on a show the last few years for me. I was scared that everything wasn’t real.”
