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He shifted back immediately, eyes narrowing further as he sat down on the mattress near my feet. “Why would that be obvious?”
“What other reason is there?”
“You explicitly told me you didn’t want me to touch you until I’d become your friend and meshed our lives,” he growled back. “I went against your wishes by kissing you.”
I sat up so I could see him better. “That wasnotkissing. It was like… mouth sex. But better.”
His seriousness faded, just slightly. “Mouth sex?”
“Yes. I’ve been kissed, and it was not like that.” I gestured toward the kitchen. “And anyway, I had plenty of chances to push you away. Obviously, I was on board with it. I was kissing you just as much as you were kissing me.”
His seriousness faded a little more. “Humans do friendship first.”
“Generally. Sometimes they start as friends who have sex casually. Or they start going on dates, to see if they’re compatible. The friendship just has to exist and develop, otherwise there’s no emotional attachment or trust.”
He looked somewhere between frustrated and confused. “You’re changing the rules, Ez.”
“There are norules. Just the ones we create for ourselves. Not that we have a relationship.” I added that last bit quickly.
“We do have a relationship. We’re fated mates, and no amount of denial can change that.”
“I accepted it. Mostly. I just… I don’t even really know what it means. Or what mating means. What would we even do, if we were a mated pair? Raise babies? Live separately? I have no idea what your definition of mates is, and I can’t imagine it’s the same as my definition of marriage.”
His gaze softened. “In Evare, we believe there is a veil that separates our world from those that come before and after. Fated mates are a pair who made an agreement of some kind to remain together in the world before this one. A mate bond is a soul-deep connection that binds two beings together through this world and every one that follows.”
Ohh.
That was actually kind of romantic.
“So you believe that in the world or life before this one, you and I vowed to stay together? Or were married or something?”
“Yes.” He dipped his head. “Though I don’t know the meaning of married.”
“It’s a promise on Earth to remain together for the rest of your lives. In today’s society, a lot of people break it for a lot of different reasons.”
Understanding flooded his eyes. “A mate bond is unbreakable. It’s a vow to love each other even when it’s difficult. It’s an acknowledgement that life is ever-changing, and the couple’s relationship will be too, but they will love each other regardless of how they transform. A mated pair will do whatever it takes to fall back in love, if they ever fall out of it.”
“I like that.” My eyes stung a bit. “My grandparents had a love like that. To think of them coming to another world with the chance to remain connected… it’s beautiful.”
Could I have had that with Ivaylo, in another world or another life? There was no way to know, but damn, I liked that idea.
“My parents have it as well,” he admitted. “I haven’t visited much in recent years. It seemed a reminder of what I could never have.”
My eyes stung for him, too.
I reached a hand out and set it on top of his. He turned his palm over and slid his fingers between mine silently.
“You should ask before assuming I’m angry with you,” I told him quietly.
“And you should ask before assuming I regret something as intense as kissing you, Ez. I can assure you, there wasn’t a shred of regret for anything other than making you uncomfortable.”
“If I was uncomfortable, it was because I wanted a hell of a lot more thanmouth sex.”
He snorted, and I flashed him a grin.
The way his face lit up when he mirrored my grin was unfairly attractive. “So did I.”
I gestured for him to come closer, and he slid across the bed until there was only a small space between our sides. It was a bit strange to me; a few hours earlier, he had seemed so otherworldly.
