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Ice caked around my heart, stripping the organ of its ability to beat. My knees felt like they were made of loose bits of dough, not strong enough to keep me upright. I fell to the ground and caught myself on my hands, staring at the wood between my palms like it had killed something in me, like it had robbed me blind.
She’s gone.
That scent had fooled me. It was faint because she hadn’t been here in maybe an hour or so. But it was strong enough to make me believe the door was the cause of it being less enthusiastic. She’d set me up for this hurt. She’d done it on purpose.
How could she do this?
I crushed my eyelids together to block out the room. No, I didn’t need to inspect further to understand that she had moved her essentials out of the house. She’d taken her clothes and figurines. I was willing to bet if I checked the bookshelves installed in the other room that her most precious ones would be missing.
She’s gone for good.
No, that couldn’t be true. She had to come back for everything else. No one would be so careless with their things as to leave them behind. Was there a note?
Fuck, do I really want to get up and check for a letter?
My nailbeds ached as I clawed the floor. Deep down, my wolf begged to be released, to tear the house apart in a furious hurricane of rage. If she didn’t want these things, then I should just destroy them. That would teach her to play with my heart.
But she was also enacting the part of the agreement that had been most daunting to write.
That she could leave any time she wanted.
I shouldn’t have been such a fool. I knew Sadie would leave when the terms were fulfilled. Though I figured she might stick around to make her engagement’s end look normal, I hadn’t thought it possible for her to go after I showed her what she made me feel. I did what I could, but it seemed I had held too much again.
I hadn’t spoken the truth. I shouldn’t have let her leave without knowing my feelings. I’d tried to get rid of them, and I’d tried to hide them, but I knew it was useless now to deny those things. Sadie had given me a reason to get up in the morning and chase after the traveling sun.
Now that she was gone, I wasn’t sure what I would do.
The wood crackled under my partially shifted nails. I shot up from the ground and turned away from the emptiness of her bedroom, the horror of it stuck in my mind’s eye for eternity. I slammed the door shut and marched into the living room. A lot of the throw blankets had been left behind by Spencer. They were originally part of the house when we first moved in.
Where would Sadie go if she wasn’t going to live here?
I gritted my teeth. “Who cares? She’s gone. I shouldn’t even care.”
My voice felt insignificant in the empty space. This was wrong in so many ways—and I had no idea how to make it right. For how did a man like me who hid all his feelings tell a woman like Sadie that she had opened him up?
Chapter 19 - Sadie
Ugh, I really hadn’t considered how my escape would look. It wasn’t like I was breaking out of Alcatraz, but the house felt like that lately. Andres felt like a prison warden at times. He’d hovered over me, watched my every move, kept tabs on my feelings.
It hurt to think about our arguments. It tore me up inside to remember his expressions, the way his emotions would billow in the room like thunderclouds preparing for a great storm. His eyes were his biggest indicator. They could be like icy daggers or like soothing seas. I wondered how they looked right now. I wondered if they had changed at all when he noticed the house was empty.
I scooped ice cream from a bowl and shoved it into my mouth. Bella poured more red wine into my glass. “That’s it. Just keep eating your feelings.”
I mumbled around my food then felt super awkward about a drop dribbling out over my chin.
Bella chuckled while handing me a napkin. “Can’t believe you left him high and dry like that.”
“It’s his fault.”
“What did he do?” She inspected my left hand. “See, that’s why. He didn’t bother getting you a ring.”
Oh, the guilt was too much. I couldn’t stand the way Bella was getting angry over the wrong details. She’d taken me in when I showed up with my crap, and she was feeding me her homemade ice cream. I was tired of lying. I needed to come clean.
I put the bowl on the coffee table. “Bella, I need to be honest with you.”
She lifted her wine glass and swirled the liquid inside. “I’m listening.”
“Andres and I weren’t engaged.”
