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I couldn’t look at my half-brother anymore. Such a notion made irritation resonate through me like a hollow drum. Void as I felt, my insides were chalk full of sentiments. And none of them truly made sense apart from the fact that I just wanted Sadie to come back home.
Spencer leaned forward. “Have you talked to her?”
“I sent her a text.”
His brows rose.
I rolled my eyes and pulled out my phone, though I didn’t need it to recall what I’d said. “I told her she still had a job if she wanted it.”
“That’s it?”
“Sure, that’s it.”
He laughed. The sound was so quick that it got swallowed up by the house. “Ambersky.”
Alright, I didn’t usually cast evil eyes on my own blood relations, but now Spencer was pushing my limits. “Don’t.”
“You’ve never been the same.”
“Have any of us been the same since then?”
He pointed resolutely at me. “But you…”
“Shut up. I don’t want to talk about Pam.”
“Great. You’re over it.”
New-found contempt sent me to my feet. “She’s the one who ran off with that idiot linebacker instead of me, okay? She promised she would comewith me, and then she broke that promise. I don’t see what that has to do with Sadie.”
Spencer observed me quietly, unblinking.
Ihatedit when he did that. Whatever he said was usually boosted by his silence, and then I had to contend with the fact that he was correct. Pam hadn’t been on my mind consciously, but the reverberations of the hurt from that time lingered.
Returning to my seat took effort. “She…she didn’t…”
“Sadie isn’t Pam, Andres.”
“I know that. I’m not stupid.”
He frowned subtly enough for the expression to almost get lost in his stony features. “You haven’t been the same.”
It was easier to avoid his gaze than face the truth. The luncheon came to mind, and then I was transported back to Sadie’s childhood bedroom. That teddy bear reminded me of Pam for a split second. I almost told Sadie about the time I was a reckless teenager who thought he was in love.
It wasn’t love. It was just an obsession.
Had that been Sadie all along? An obsession? It didn’t feel fair to think of her in those terms, yet I couldn’t ignore what was glaring right at me. Other than my sibling, reality faced me down with enough judgement to put me away for life.
The agreement, the dates, the excessive attention—I’d been doing it to keep Sadie from leaving me. I never once told her why I was doing those things. I just did them. Some of them were natural offerings, things I wanted to do for her just to do them. But a lot of it was to keep her here.
And shestillleft me.
Spencer was right. I was too controlling.
Defeat overwhelmed me as I hung my head. From downstairs came the sound of Xavier and Leo walking into the house.
I focused on Spencer. “At least they have the sense to go through the correct door.”
“I had the sense to knock onyourdoor and wait for you to answer.”
